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Thread: Super frustrated w/ 2 week old, please help

  1. #1

    Default Super frustrated w/ 2 week old, please help

    My 2 week old did very well breast feeding from his first day, besides having the normal issue of feeding/sleeping peacefully all day and feeding/not sleeping at night.

    This week, he's started being extremely fussy both before and after feeding. He latches on just fine, will feed until he falls asleep and seems full. As soon as I re position him to burp, he starts screaming, kicking and fussing to the point where it's hard to hold on to him. It's gotten to the point where I feel frustrated and irritated with my baby. My husband will take him or my mom and he goes to sleep. I'm beginning to feel like every time I hold him he's either screaming hysterically or feeding, there's no being content. I'm trying so hard to be patient, I've tried feeding in new positions, burping in new positions, feeding on one side only (he also seems to have lots of gas), but no matter what I've tried he screams as soon as I have him, unless he's eating.

    We saw the pediatrician this week and she says he's gaining impressively, and appears very healthy in every way. She suggested the fussing may be a result of me having a 'fast flow', as he is a little piggy and will gulp then pull off and choke before wanting to latch on again. I know some about of fussing is normal, but it seems like he's just not happy unless he's eating or sleeping, and the last few days it seems I can't get him to sleep either.

    I've cried several times today in frustration over this. I feel horrible that I can't comfort him, I feel guilty for getting so frustrated with him, I feel irritated with the people around me who make it look easy. I'm hoping someone here can offer some real advice on what I can do differently. Thanks for listening.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    5,761

    Default Re: Super frustrated w/ 2 week old, please help

    There is nothing so painful as feeling as if you cannot comfort your baby. Add in exhaustion and hormones and you got a recipe for tears. So understandable mamma!

    It is probably little comfort but I agree with your pediatrician-this sounds normal. Some babies are just little fuss pots. Plus around the two week point is often when babies kind of wake up and start "demanding' more form us. more milk, more being held, just...MORE! Problem is often we can not figure out what baby needs and we feel helpless. Baby may not know himself. One thing is for sure-baby is not unhappy with you! Baby loves and needs and trusts you. He shows it by going to pieces with you. Fun huh? But, again, it is normal.
    Baby knows you are trying to comfort him and that you are there. A baby crying in a loving adults arms is a baby who is being taken care of. You are smart to pass baby off to your husband when you are irritated.

    I don't care what it looks like, new motherhood is never easy for anyone. Actually, motherhood is not easy for anyone!

    Mommal has a great list of things to try to comfort a fussy baby. I am sure other moms here do too. meanwhile i hope this article helps - http://www.llli.org/docs/00000000000...ybabyideas.pdf

    this has tips for dad, and includes description of magic baby hold http://www.llli.org/docs/00000000000...t_partners.pdf

    here are tips for forceful letdown. I would not suggest block feeding this early, try the other ideas http://www.llli.org/docs/00000000000...ggrimacing.pdf

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
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    2,214

    Default Re: Super frustrated w/ 2 week old, please help

    Hi mama, there is nothing more demanding than taking care of a newborn baby, especially for a breastfeeding mom. If you feel like baby is constantly feeding, well, it's because he is! And that is exactly what he is supposed to be doing at this stage, and it sounds like you are doing great with breastfeeding if your baby is gaining so well. So you should feel proud of yourself for that. Also, this phase does NOT last forever. It's just that in the early weeks baby needs to do nothing but nurse, nurse, nurse so he can gain, gain, gain and get to a size where he can start doing more than just nursing. Anyway, I just wanted to encourage you to stick with it - we've all been there, and it's so worth it when you come out on the other side!

  4. #4

    Default Re: Super frustrated w/ 2 week old, please help

    Thanks for all the suggestions. We've found a couple new things that seem to help calm him in between feedings, unfortunately he's still having a hard time at feeding time. The body spasms and muscle jerks, which I know are normal in a newborn, have become quite rough and strong while he's feeding and he grunts loudly like he's uncomfortable. When this happens, he frequently pulls off very fast, then gets frustrated and is hard to latch on again. It's gotten so difficult that he's really hurting me now, as he tends to stretch me and pull roughly when the muscle spasms start. He's also still having lots of gas. We've been trying the baby gas drops to help.

    I have a feeling something is going on that's giving him belly pain of some kind, or discomfort. The rough feeding just started a few days ago, before that feeding time was the only time he seemed calm and at ease. No more. :/

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    21,267

    Default Re: Super frustrated w/ 2 week old, please help

    Tips for calming a fussy baby:
    - Nurse, nurse, nurse, nurse, nurse (if baby will nurse)
    - Take baby outside for some fresh air- sounds so simple that it's stupid but I swear it works!
    - Warm bath
    - Calm house- lights, tv, and stereo down or off
    - Motion- stroller ride, vibrating chair, swing, sling, bounce on exercise ball, rock, etc.
    - White noise- radio static, dryer noise, car noise, vacuum cleaner sounds

    The behavior you're seeing can certainly be related to fast letdowns. Often babies will pull off the breast, avoid relatching, and slide down/slip up/clamp down on the breast/nipple. A few questions about milk supply-
    - Are you frequently full or engorged?
    - Are you leaking a lot?
    - Do you feel your letdowns (may feel like pins and needles or electrical tingling)?
    - When baby pulls off the breast, do you see milk squirt or stream from the breast?
    - What color are baby's poops?
    - Are you pumping at all, and if so, how much can you get at one go?
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  6. #6

    Default Re: Super frustrated w/ 2 week old, please help

    We just got a swing today, can't wait to try it! Right now he's snoozing away in his bouncer. We took him out for some errands today, which worked for a while, then he freaked out and didn't want to be in the car seat any longer. Saw the doc today and he is thinking LO could be reacting to dairy in my diet or experiencing some reflux. I hope it's not dairy, because I'm already vegetarian, I'd really hate to have to give up cheese. But, at his advice, I will try for a week or so and see if it helps his behavior any.

    - I am often full, but don't feel 'engorged' much anymore. He's been feeding very frequently (less than every 2 hrs) recently, so I don't get much time to be full between feedings.
    - I leak as soon as LO cries, but haven't noticed tons of leaking between feedings
    - I feel letdown sometimes, not every time, and the pins & needles usually comes after several mins of him sucking, not immediately
    - Yes, when baby pulls off, there is milk everywhere, not necessarily squirting, but streaming. Also, when I first try to latch him, as he pulls off and on several times, milk gets everywhere. Usually have to stick the burp cloth under his chin to avoid both of us getting wet.
    - poops are mustard yellow, sometimes 'seedy' looking
    - I've not pumped yet. The doc suggested I wait at least a few more weeks to get the BF better established.

    Also, between last Wed and today he gained another 15 oz, so he's definitely getting enough to eat, regardless of how much I have to wrestle him during feeding!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    21,267

    Default Re: Super frustrated w/ 2 week old, please help

    That really sounds like there's a fast letdown issue! It's great that you're feeding often and avoiding the pump. Both those things are excellent things to do when there's oversupply/fast letdowns in the picture.

    Have you tried feeding in reclined positions yet?
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  8. #8

    Default Re: Super frustrated w/ 2 week old, please help

    I feed reclined, on my side and sitting up. Not sure it makes a big difference in his behavior, but the issue just started a couple days ago. Right now I'm going to try cutting out dairy for a week, expressing a little milk at the beginning of each feeding to get him to hind milk faster and gas drops after feeding if he seems uncomfortable. Hopefully one of these things will resolve it and help my little guy feel better.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    21,267

    Default Re: Super frustrated w/ 2 week old, please help

    Go ahead and cut out dairy if you want, but this truly doesn't sound like a dairy issue to me.

    And be cautious with expressing before feeding: when you have oversupply (and I think you do- you "often" feel full, you feel your letdowns, you see milk streaming from the breast, etc.), expressing in addition to nursing can keep your supply boosted and therefore more likely to produce fast letdowns. Milk supply is equivalent to demand: the more milk you remove from the breast, the more you will produce.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  10. #10

    Default Re: Super frustrated w/ 2 week old, please help

    I was trying to express first under the theory that because he's such an enthusiastic eater, he's gulping down too much foremilk, which could be a factor in belly issues. Is this not something I should worry about? So confusing, I feel like I've gotten different advice from doc, doula, online reading, this forum. :/

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