OK, I've figured out that the times when I struggle most with breastfeeding are when I'm having PMS, or at least my period is close to starting. I got my period back four months after she was born. When this happens, I get extra sensitive, sore, irritable. I get angry easily, and these are times when breastfeeding to me feels...disgusting. (I know that breastfeeding is not disgusting. These are not rational thoughts). She also seems to struggle with breastfeeding more during these times, too, perhaps because she senses my unhappiness.
I'm not really sure how to deal with PMS at all actually. I had it as an adolescent, and then I didn't have it as an adult until I was trying to conceive and I think that was more due to my frustrations with trying to get pregnant than anything else. Once I started college, I was on hormonal birth control for 12 years, so I didn't really have PMS, then I went off of HBC for several years before TTC and I never experienced anything that felt like PMS during those years. If I did it was so mild that I just chalked it up to an unrelated mood fluctuation.
So I'm experiencing this, and I don't really know how to deal with it, and it's really making breastfeeding very unhappy for me. I've gone back and forth as to how long I want to breastfeed vs how long I can realistically do it. I've thought of doing it until she's at least two, but I don't know if I can go through this 17 more times.
How do you deal with BFing and PMS? Does anyone else have to deal with this?