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Thread: Weight Gain Questions

  1. #21
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    Jun 2006
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    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
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    Default Re: Weight Gain Questions

    OK well THAT all sounds perfectly wonderful! So I want to you RELAX. Breathe and look at him again in 2 weeks.

    Way too lazy for formula

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
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    San Diego
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    Default Re: Weight Gain Questions

    good to hear

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
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    Default Re: Weight Gain Questions

    This already needy mama needs more support.

    I'm going into my first, and hopefully last, phase of not enjoying breastfeeding. I have worked so hard at getting where I'm at, there's NO CHANCE that I'm going to quit, however I'm having a very hard time right now.

    First, I should mention that I think my cycle is working on coming back. I spotted for a few days about a month ago, but had no other symptoms. For the past few days I've been incredibly emotional and even had some minor cramping tonight. So, I think this is definitely a large reason why I'm having a hard time nursing right now.

    I feel like breastfeeding has completely taken over my life. I'm assuming it's normal, but my three month old eats like a newborn. He literally wants to be latched or in my arms all.day.long. And, while I love this, and LOVE cuddling with him, I feel so estranged from my daughter and feel like I've completely lost control of my house and its upkeep. Not to mention all this pregnancy weight that I'm not even KIND OF trying to get rid of.

    Each night I put my son down in his pack n play when he first falls asleep, and during this time I prepare his next-day bottles for daycare, shower, then right before going to bed I pump. When DS wakes up (usually about half an hour after I go to bed), he and I both creep into my daughter's room and cosleep on her trundle bed. (it's much firmer that my bed and my DH can't sleep with me constantly turning my cell phone light on to check on DS when he's in our bed)...... When I wake up in the morning, i feed DS for as long as I can... cuz God forbid he ever unlatch, satisfied, ready to just kick it.....then pump, get myself ready, get my daughter ready, get my son ready, and right before we leave, I see if he wants any of the EBM from that morning's pump sesh. At work, I pump every 2-2.25hrs. Then, from the moment I get home from work around 430pm until about 1030pm, my son wants to nurse. I occasionally will put him down and let him suck on his hands while I scarf down dinner, but i immediately put him back to the breast after I'm done eating. WIth my history of low supply, I will always keep him at the breast as long as he latches, but its starting to take a toll on me. I literally cannot do anything else. ANd, now that I'm back at work, I frequently fall asleep while nursing. Then i feel awful because my poor daughter is in the room playing all by herself, with my pathetic butt passed out on the couch. My husband has stepped up to the plate and taken over dinner, dishes, and bathes my daughter... so that is a HUGE relief... but i still feel so unhappy.

    We do have four baby carriers, and the only one that DS currently likes and that he's big enough for still requires me to use one hand to get a strap out of the way so he can nurse, so baby wearing isn't really too helpful.

    Also, I feel so guilty about not spending more time with my daugher. I know it's temporary. And I know I'm doing the best thing for DS and I will never get this time back, but I'm so longing for time with my daughter. I miss her, yet I see her everyday. I miss playing with her on the floor, and taking her to the park, and cuddlign with her while she falls asleep at night. I miss smelling her and holding her.

    I also miss having alone, adult time with my husband. I'm constantly nursing, and my husband just recently started an apprenticeship and goes to night school, so we don't really have a lot of time to ourselves. Also, he goes to bed several hours before I do, so intimacy is almost impossible.

    As I said before I'M NOT QUITTING... i'm just having a really hard time with everything that I can't do right now.
    Last edited by @llli*alilwest; November 24th, 2012 at 02:56 AM.

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Ontario
    Posts
    729

    Default Re: Weight Gain Questions

    It sounds like things are really super hectic for you right now! I don't have a lot of advice, just

    And while this may not help you much, I really admire that you are working so hard to keep nursing your son through all these challenges!

    From what I have read, it's not unusual for a baby who has been away from its mother all day to want to be held/nursed non-stop when they are together, sort of to make up for lost time. I'm not sure there's much you're going to be able to do about that.

    In terms of your daughter, is she showing any signs of being truly affected by less attention from you? ie, is she acting out more, regressing in potty training (if she is), etc? If not, she might not be as put out as you think, and hopefully that might lessen your guilt a little!

    Try not to worry about the house cleaning...I think everyone with little ones has a bit of a wreck of a house. What matters is that you're spending as much time with your kids as you can. When you look back on this time in years from now, will you really care that the floors weren't spotless or that the laundry was piled a little high? Probably not!

    Again, not really solutions, but hopefully something to think about and make you feel a little better.

  5. #25
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    Jun 2006
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    Default Re: Weight Gain Questions

    Ailwest,
    I want you do rember the post you made about how all you wanted was to be able to nurse and how it was NOT FAIR that you couldn't make enough. But you can. And you do. And all of your problems are solveable and always have been. You need to learn how to get out of your own head. Seriously. Make time for your daughter. Made a special time every Sat where you leave the baby with your DH and a bottle for a couple of hours and take her and YOU away. Take her to the park or the Library.
    And as far as adult time with your DH you either schedule it or stop having kids. Because were you having it with him before your son was born?( I mean obviously you did at least ONCE. ) How long after your daugher was born were you being intimate or having adult time? Was it at the 3 month point? Because was that seem highly UNLIKELY to me. So this isn't your 1st time at the rodeo. Your son isn't going to need any less from you than your daughter did. And yeah you definitely have an extra piece to juggle since you already have another child. The more kids you have the more overwhelming having a new baby is. But the expectations around caring for them doesn't change. You sound like you have an EXTREMELY strong support system in your partner. And the bonding for him and your daughter is probably very very valuable to both of them. Which are both VERY VERY good things.
    And you know what? Its NOT going to be the last time that you don't enjoy it. It's not. That isn't how any part of motherhood works like that as far as I can tell. You don't hit a spot with breastfeeding where it's ALL roses. Did that happen for you last time? Because it never happened for me and I breastfed my son for 4.5 years. It grows and changes and grows less intense. But they still need it more when they teethe. They still want to reconnect like a crazy insecure girlfriend when they are learning to crawl and walk and separation anxiety is at a all time high. The relationship grows and changes and you need to remain flexible. Which clearly is VERY VERY hard for you. But the fact of the matter is that your 3month old NEEDS you now more than your daughter or your husband do. And I am pretty sure that they both understand that it's not forever. But the infant needs the Mama most.
    So for sure, carve out special time for your daughter. Make the time and keave your DH and son with a bottle and go for a couple hour with her. You ambivilence is not the end of the world. So whenever you are feeling low, go re-read your post from when the baby was 6week? 8 weeks? . Remember how you felt when you thought you weren't going to be able to breastfeed. How horrible and unfair the world was. And remember that THAT feeling if you get to that point is permanent. Whereas this feeling as long as you continue is always always able to change as your and your child grow into your relationship. You can do this. You are doing it. Stay focused on the big picture in terms of your baby AND your family.

    Way too lazy for formula

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    San Diego
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    259

    Default Re: Weight Gain Questions

    Ok, so on 11/20, DS was 14lb 14.5oz, and tonight he was 15lb 5oz. It's still on the slow side.
    Last edited by @llli*alilwest; December 3rd, 2012 at 09:22 PM.

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    Default Re: Weight Gain Questions

    One lb in less than a month is slow growth?

    Way too lazy for formula

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    San Diego
    Posts
    259

    Default Re: Weight Gain Questions

    He weighed 14lb 5oz on 10/17, so it took about 47 days to gain 1lb.

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    Default Re: Weight Gain Questions

    You said on 11/20? So for 30 days he had ZERO growth? And then did all that gaining in the last 12 days?

    Way too lazy for formula

  10. #30
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    San Diego
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    259

    Default Re: Weight Gain Questions

    I'm not sure where the confusion is. Here it is written differently

    Oct 17: 14lb 5oz
    Nov 20: 14lb 14.5oz
    Dec 3: 15lb 5oz

    I still get between 2.75-3.5oz every 2-2.5 hours at work. We nurse almost nonstop until he falls asleep for bed. He sleeps in his pack n play for about 2 hours, then when he wakes up we cosleep for the rest of the night. It seems like my supply is good, so I don't really know what more to do.

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