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Thread: Tired of breastfeeding/husband issues

  1. #11
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,813

    Default Re: Tired of breastfeeding/husband issues

    I'm sorry your DH demonstrated such a lack of understanding. Being a mommy is a LOT more that breastfeeding, and you're not staying home "just" so that you can breastfeed. I have to say that if he wanted to convince you to continue on, he chose a pretty poor tactic. Instead of building you up and telling you that you're doing something amazing and self-sacrificing and being a good mommy on top of being a student, he decided to lay a guilt trip on you about what you're not doing and to devalue the work that you are doing. Marriage counselor says: poor decision!

    I don't think we need to sell you on the benefits of breastfeeding. You must already have a pretty good idea of what they are, or you wouldn't have struggled through the rough beginning parts of nursing. But we can be your cheerleaders, and you can come here to vent when the sleeplessness and the demand and the stress of tests and pants not fitting is getting you down. I will say that for me, 6 months is one of the hardest passages in the nursing journey, because the baby is taking the maximum amount of time and breastmilk and energy and attention from you and you cannot yet pass him off to dad and say "here, give him some cheerios". I also think that babies sense very keenly when their moms are feeling like they want to escape a little, and babies being babies they respond to that not by giving you your space, but by increasing their level of need.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    212

    Default Re: Tired of breastfeeding/husband issues

    Oh dear. You definitely sound tired. And overwhelmed. And annoyed. And rightly so. When I'm feeling that way, I totally want the quick solution. And if my husband ever seemed to take BF for granted or just assume anything about what I was or wasn't going to be willing to give from MY OWN BODY, I think the meltdown I had on him would be anything but minor. After you take a few deep breaths you can start to think about the very valid points made by other posters here. Even if you switch to formula, you will still be at home with an increasingly active baby, responsibilities at home, a husband who seems a bit clueless about just how much it takes to mom every minute of every day, and your course load. Plus extra labor to mix/clean/adjust formula. My hunch is that it is not the BF that's sending you over the edge, but it is the thing that has the (seemingly) quickest fix. I would suggest thinking abut your routine and what you can do to maintain your sanity in the midst of your life. And talk with DH about your life/family/hopes/expectations in general (not just BF). Strategize about how you can work TOGETHER to make things better for your family. I highly recommend 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work by Jon Gottman (I know, you're in school, last thing you want to do is read more) It is a great and helpful way to work on doing life together as a couple.

    Best of luck.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    1,946

    Default Re: Tired of breastfeeding/husband issues

    Why not attend some local LLL meetings? This way you are around others who can support you and understand what you are going thru. It is a nice way to make connections with others who are nursing as well.

    hang in there, one thing about parenting is each phase brings a new set of challenges. It NEVER really gets easier. We just learn to roll with it, and hope for some support along the way!
    Mommy of 4,
    3 who I watch over, 1 who watches over all of us

    J- 8/20/05 pumped breastmilk for 11 months due to his cleft lip and palate!

    M- 10/17/07 my precious baby lives forever in her mommys heart

    M- 3/31/09 my special gift, she helps heal her mommy and daddys heart. Nursed for 4 years and 10 days, self weaned the day her baby brother was born!

    E-, new little miracle born 4/11/13, my BIG baby! Born 8.6 at 38 weeks. At 9 weeks nearly 17lbs, at 12 weeks nearly 20lbs, at 6 months nearly 23lbs, at 8 months nearly 25lbs and all from BREASTMILK


  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Northern Virginia
    Posts
    535

    Default Re: Tired of breastfeeding/husband issues

    I feel like you could regret it if you stop now. But even if it sucks for the next 6 months and you stick it out, I doubt you'll say, "Geez, I wish I hadn't done that!" In fact, I feel like breastfeeding has changed my life so much for the better. I feel much more in tune with people and the world, and I understand now why women were long ago revered in societies for their mysterious powers of childbirth and child-rearing. So sad how that's changed. Your DH is sounding like it's your "job" to be breastfeeding. Instead he should be looking at how to make it as easy for you as possible while you're going to school.

    Also, going to Costco more than necessary is enough of a deterrent for me!
    Mom to my sweet little "Pooper," born 10/12/11, and "Baby Brother," born 6/23/2014, and married to heavy metal husband. Working more than full-time, making healthy vegetarian meals for family, and trying to keep up with exercise routine.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    2,944

    Default Re: Tired of breastfeeding/husband issues

    Can you get out for like an hour by yourself every once in a while? Maybe that would help you feel better?
    Proud mom of 2:
    DD 5/2008 nursed for 3 years and 3 months.
    DS born 8/2011 nursing like a champ

    Sorry for the short responses...always, always, always NAK or holding a baby

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    1,710

    Default Re: Tired of breastfeeding/husband issues

    Rather than trying to guilt you into sticking with it, perhaps your husband could think about the ways that HE can support you to stick with it? There is a LOT he could do to make life easier for YOU - give you a break every once in a while, respect how important and hard what you are doing is, etc.

    I'm with your husband (and the rest of the LLLadies here) in hoping you stick with it, but it sounds like his approach was just a tad off!!!!

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