In-laws trying to give junk food to baby rant

[@llli*nathansmum]

My LO is just 7 months old, we've been doing BLS and some spoon feeding for about 6 weeks. He has tried avocado, banana, sweet potato, apple/blueberry purée, steamed pears, peas, plain yogurt, rice rusks, broccoli, carrots and cheese. He only eats about 1 tbsp per day. Problem is my In-laws (who dont live nearby) seem bent on stuffing him full of junk when they see him. For example, at his 6 month "birthday" (which was also MIL's birthday) they got a cake, to which I said "fine, but LO will not be eating it, he can have some birthday banana" they seemed okay with it, but then started to cut him a piece anyhow. When I said NO again, FIL said, "oh he can just play with it and we will take a picture", and grandma said, "we will just give him some icing then". When i said NO again they stopped asking, but acted like i was some kind of big meany for refusing to give my 6 month old a piece of store bought, chemical laden cake. I had even introduced solids a week early in order to appease their apparent need to feed him during our visit, but they showed no interest in feeding him anything healthy.
They keep going on about how he will be able to eat so much more at christmas when we stay with them, and last night when they talked to Dh on skype MIL's BF was raving about how much fun it is going to be to give him spoonfuls of jelly and watch him go!
I have explained to them how and why I don't feed LO junk, but they seem to be deaf on this topic. MIL is reasonable, but always waits until I have said NO to the others several times before backing me up, and she seems to find it amusing.
It is making me really angry, and I don't want to have to spend all my visits playing food police.

Sorry for the rant, I appreciate any suggestions on how to deal with this.

[@llli*bfwmomof3]

Totally with you on this. Stand firm. And get DH to get on board with it and send a consistent message that it's not okay. I don't think you have to go to great lengths to justify your position, just make it clear what your position is and that it's not up for negotiation. Recognize that grandparents like to spoil their grandbabies and give them some suggestions about how to do this - spoiling with attention is nice!

[@llli*babygirl05]

seriously...spoonfuls of jelly? I know it's such a pain and I really had a hard time with ppl when my dd was little. I had to let them know it's NOT OK. And that they are not to give her anything. When my son was born, I think they got the point and left me alone.

[@llli*joshuas.mommy]

Hold firm. Who cares if they think you're a big old meany? Let them think what they like. You're the mother, this is your baby, it's your decision. That's all there is too it. Who gives a d@mn what they think. People are going to judge all kinds of decisions you make as a parent; that's just the way it goes. You're the one who has to live with the outcome of the decisions so do what you think is best. One thing that may help is to give them a timeline for when you WILL allow them to give those things, if you have one. For example, I told everybody my LO wasn't getting any cake or other similar sweets until his first birthday, and I stuck to it. People seemed to understand that and be more accepting of that than of just a flat-out 'no', with no end in sight. I still don't let LO have junk very often but everyone got a kick out of seeing him eat cake at his first birthday. Honestly I think he likes apples and broccoli just as well and eats those with equal gusto, so I'm not worried about him getting cake every once in awhile as long as he'll continue eating the good stuff, too.

[@llli*newboob]

stand ur ground--i'm listening 2 a screaming 5 year old; he's screaming cuz he has severe tooth decay thx 2 grandpeeps thinking sugar is, quote, good 4 them!

[@llli*emmysmum]

There is no need for a baby that young to get all that sugar so young. You could always try giving them a healthier option if they really want to feed him. Mama natural has a recipe for a healthy choc. Cake made out of beets that is really good and easy to make. Instead of " giving spoonfuls of jelly" how about mashed up organic fruit. If they were still wanting to give the baby sugar I would have to put my foot down and say no. If they ignore you that would be the time when I would pick him up and kindly say you have already raised your children please let me raise mine. " a soft answer turns away wrath but grevious words stir up anger"

[@llli*mommal]

Maybe you could take a proactive approach, and write your ILs a cheery note. "Dear MIL and FIL, we're looking forward to seeing you this holiday! Would you do me a favor and lay in some of the baby's favorite foods: avocados, plain yogurt, carrots (etc.)? He isn't ready for overly sweet foods or things with a lot of different ingredients".

I am that standing your ground is both important and very annoying. But believe me, it's better to stand firm now than to try to remediate bad behavior in the future.

[@llli*zaynethepain]

Tell them how much you appreciate them offering to pay for his dental bills Offer a substitute that will still be nice and messy for them to watch ie mashed berries instead of jelly. I feel your frustration. My aunt wanted to give my 3 mo ds overeasy (aka undercooked!) eggs and syrup. I got that meany look too. Sigh. They wonder why I only let my brother babysit.

[@llli*amysmom]

Where is your husband when this happens? He needs to handle this. His family, his problem. And not "SHE doesn't want him to have it." It needs to be "WE don't want him to have it." He has to make it clear that you're a team. Have him explain it to them BEFORE Christmas. He needs to make it clear that this issue is threatening your plans to stay with them. It isn't fair to make you feel like you have to protect your child from them. It's no way to spend the holidays.

[@llli*sobamom]

I truly feel your pain. My parents are the same--and DD is already four . I guess it's true that babies/kids love sugar and eager grandparents will do anything for a smile, even if it is at the expense of the child's health. I have stood my ground over the years, but it never really seems to get through, and I'm always made to feel like such a controlling tyrant about the issue. Hope your in-laws aren't as hard-headed as my parents!