I'd like to first apologize as I know this information is most likely covered in these forums .. I just signed up and saw all this wealth of information but I don't have the time right now to sift through everything and will read through it as I have the time.
After a long time trying to conceive, we were blessed with identical twins but it was short-lived as I had an extremely high-risk pregnancy and was told I would most likely lose one or both at 20 weeks. At 28 weeks, I was rushed to an emergency C-section, and after a rough six weeks, my younger son passed way. My other twin came home after 12 weeks in the NICU. He is currently 17 weeks, or 5 weeks adjusted and drinks anywhere from 4-7 oz at 3-5 hour intervals.
It took three days for my colostrum to come in, and in the beginning I was very good about pumping (the first three weeks mostly). After that, I was decreasing my pumps, and I had an okay supply but not great. However, after the death of my younger son, I fell into such depression and shock that I think I pumped four times a day and my milk production suffered.
At the time, I thought I'd be fine because I had so much milk stored up from the time they were in the NICU, but now, we're going through the frozen milk extremely rapidly, and I don't produce nearly enough milk. It's causing me a lot of stress and bringing me down.
I do take More Milk Plus, and I try to put him to breast, but I'm very sad to say that I don't find breastfeeding as easy or enjoyable as I thought I would and I dread it. Sometimes he will fall asleep while feeding but he'll wake up in an hour because he didn't get enough and I'm just exhausted trying to keep up with him so I'd rather bottle feed him to know how much he gets.
Is it hopeless ? We're going to run out of milk soon and I'm already crying thinking of putting him on formula (which we had to do for a while since he was a preemie and it really upset his stomach .. he has bad reflux and his tummy always seems to bother him).