Re: Trying to rebound from the death of one of my twins
I am so sorry about your lost baby, mama. I can totally understand why you didn't pump as often after he passed. Hooking yourself up to that stupid machine has to be the last thing you want at a moment like that.
The PP made a good point about the bottle size. 7 oz is way too big for a 5 week old baby. 2-4 oz is a more reasonable amount. You just give the bottles much more frequently.
How often do you pump every day? And how often do you nurse? The more you do both of those things, the more milk you'll produce. It's normal not to enjoy nursing all that much at this point, because nursing a 5 week-old is not enjoyable. They don't do anything but fuss and nurse and poop, and it's a constant struggle to keep them properly positioned and a constant question in your mind whether or not they're getting enough to eat, especially when you're a first-time mom. It's not until your baby is a little older that nursing is going to become enjoyable. He's going to become easier to nurse as his head control and muscle strength improve, and he's going to start giving back emotionally, expressing how much he loves nursing and loves you by looking at you and smiling, and reaching out to touch you.
I think a lot of moms who have had babies in the NICU get a little obsessed with knowing how much their babies are eating. Which is totally understandable- with a medically fragile baby you have to be obsessed! But once your baby is term and gaining weight at a normal rate, you can probably start to let go of some of that worry, and relax about whether or not your baby ate X number of oz at a feeding. One thing you might want to consider doing is renting a professional scale. By weighing baby before and after nursing, and subtracting the before from the after, you can come up with a very accurate measure of how much your baby ate at the breast. If he eats enough when he nurses, you can start phasing out the bottles and just nurse.
Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"