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Thread: I'm LOSING it!

  1. #1

    Default I'm LOSING it!

    I just want to say, I really really appreciate this forum, and all the love and support that can be found on here! I have been having a comically tragic month, it seems. Since my 30+ hour labor which led to an unwanted cesarean section, my baby boy is 4 weeks old today. I thought we were in the groove, but this past weekend he started literally screaming every time he was not in my arms or nursing. My husband was bottle feeding once a day with expressed breast milk, but I've had to take a break from pumping b/c my left breast was only getting like 25 drops so I stopped for the past week. My hubby nags me and only says negative comments about breastfeeding, it is really starting to make me wonder should I quit. He says his favorite time with Brody is when he gets to give him his bottle, and now I "took even that away from him."
    Yesterday I was getting ready to go to my first post natal LLL local meeting, and for some reason I forced my wedding ring on, which I have been too swollen to wear since like 5 months pregnant. Well, ladies, don't do that! I ended up having to go to Urgent Care and getting it cut off my finger!!! Not that material things are that important, but dammit! This, on top of my broken toe and having to get my entire big toenail ripped out when we'd been home 8 days cuz I tripped with the baby in my arms....no worries, he never even stirred, but OuCH...and gross! So all this ridicularity is happening to me, and all I wanna do is be a good mom and breastfeed before I have to go out and get a job. It is seemingly harder and harder, instead of getting easier.
    I guess I will try to pump more to keep everyone happy, and I'm sure that all this will get better with time. Right?!?! Ahhh, thanks for listening.

    Ceana

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Ontario
    Posts
    621

    Default Re: I'm LOSING it!

    Hang in there! It does sound like you've had one heck of a month. And having a C-section sucks -I know that even 4 weeks after mine, I still didn't feel like I could move my body the way I did before, and that makes everything harder and more painful (though I've never had a VB, so I guess I can't compare!). Do you have a sling or a baby carrier? That can really help when you feel like your little one won't let you put him down. As for the bottle feeding, remind your hubby that there are other things that he can do to bond with the baby (diapering, bathing, tummy time), and that in order to continue breastfeeding (which is the best thing for your son), you need to do it your way for now. It won't last forever - it's just the way it needs to be right now. Don't give up...this too shall pass! Sounds like maybe the baby could be going through a growth spurt, which could explain why he wants to nurse all the time.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    miles from nowhere
    Posts
    11,107

    Default Re: I'm LOSING it!

    Tell your husband to relax and find something else to choose as his favorite time with baby. Like bath time or post-nursing cuddles or middle of the night walking the halls. You need this time to focus on getting nursing right and regulating your supply to meet your baby's demands and the absolute best way to do that is to nurse whenever baby wants to.

    Your job right now, your only job, is to nurse your baby. Your husband's job right now should be helping you nurse the baby. He needs to get on board and stop getting in your way. Tell him how important it is to you that breastfeeding works. Ask him for help making it work. Include him in your breastfeeding success and maybe he'll feel more like a part of it. Get him to help you set up a spot where you can just sit and chill with your baby, ask him to help by bringing you water and snacks and taking the baby for a while so you can use the bathroom or take an occasional shower. In a few more weeks when your supply is better regulated and you feel a little more settled then you can start pumping and giving a bottle again, but for now I think you need to focus on nursing your baby and keeping baby happy. Your husband's a grown up (or should be acting like one ), he can wait.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    21,343

    Default Re: I'm LOSING it!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*still.here View Post
    Tell your husband to relax and find something else to choose as his favorite time with baby.

    Your husband's a grown up (or should be acting like one ), he can wait.
    This. Your baby is a baby ONCE. This is your and your baby's best chance to master breastfeeding. Forget about how you "took the bottle away" from your husband, and don't let your husband take breastfeeding away from YOU.

    He can change diapers. Give a bath. Wear baby in a sling. Rock him in a chair. And in a month or two, if YOU want to pump, he can start giving a bottle again. But until then, he needs to cowboy up, stop complaining, and be supportive of YOU.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    2,214

    Default Re: I'm LOSING it!

    Totally agree with PPs that DH needs to get on board and support you! And with the idea of the baby carrier. I definitely wouldn't worry about pumping at 4 weeks just to keep people happy. They should be trying to keep you happy! Also I just wanted to say that things will get better. I think the 4 week point can be hard because it feels like you're going to spend the rest of your life doing nothing but nursing and getting too little sleep in short fragments. It's just that in the early weeks the most important thing is for baby to drink that milk and grow, grow, grow. As baby gets older, while breastfeeding remains a crucial (and wonderful) part of your relationship with baby, it's not quite the all-encompassing endeavor that it is in those early weeks. For me it's definitely been worth sticking through those difficult early weeks in order to have the joy of breastfeeding my babies!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Victoria, BC, Canada
    Posts
    939

    Default Re: I'm LOSING it!

    Your husband needs to stop being selfish and consider what's best for his son.

    When both our kids were babies, it was daddy's job to bathe them. We'd have a lovely ritual where he'd come home from work and would give the baby a bath while I finished preparing dinner.

    Another thing he did was simply to carry our babies around alot or hold them while he surfed the internet! There are plenty of opportunities for bonding that don't including bottlefeeding.

    I hope you can find some local moms (and dads!) who are also breastfeeding to support you. It's got to be tough if youre husband is not being supportive. Maybe take your husband to a LLL meeting, preferably one with other dads there.
    Canadian mom and breastmilk fan.
    We have 2 beautiful children: Luana who's 9 y/o, had breastmilk for 2 years and is smart as a whip. Lucas who came out kickin', is 4 y/o and continues to enjoy his milkies.

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