Relocation and long distance travel with an infant

[@llli*debbers]

Hey Mamas. Just when I thought life had settled down I had to go and get myself a great new job in another city. The choreography of relocating including purchasing a new home and timing the departure from the current one with an infant is one thing, but before the move my new employer wants me in Calgary the first week of Dec. the entire week. My husband and I are thinking maybe it makes sense to fly him and the baby too so I can nurse that week vs using a substantial amount of frozen milk and having him wrangle a baby, 3 dogs and 2 cats alone, not to mention prepare to move and wrap up a home purchase. He's not likely to be too productive with the Zoo. We had a Nanny, we now do not. It's a long story, I'll spare you, but with my resignation from my current job I'm at home an extra month so it works out for us at the moment. 30 glorious extra days with my family.

DD will be 20 weeks when this all goes down. We love her dearly and every month is a little easier but she's not a walk in the park. Definitely an attachment baby. Has anyone else orchestrated a move and/or long distance travel with a young baby? If so maybe you can direct message me. I keep thinking about details. If they come to Calgary do I still bring a pump and bottles in case I can't take a nursing break. What about all the diapers and wipes - that's a lot in a suitcase!? (We cloth diaper but for travel we'd use Honest or Seventh Gen). What about toys, car seat, stroller? Do I get her her own seat for such a long trip simply to have the extra space? This co is bringing me on as VP and I want them to see me as the leader they hired not a pain in the butt who needs the entire world to adjust around her. I don't want to ask to postpone the trip. I want to tackle this challenge and afterwards look back and feel like a rock star for getting it done.

[@llli*bfwmomof3]

Yes, I moved from one state to another when my first one was 3 1/2 months, including buying a house for the first time etc. So I totally hear you! I'll put some answers in here in case the information is useful to anybody else, but we can get into more specifics by direct messaging if you like.

My suggestion for the trip to Calgary in the first week of December would be to yes, take the baby and DH if that is an option. So much nicer to be able to nurse the baby at least some of the time, and you don't have to worry about transporting milk, leaving enough frozen behind, etc. Also if she's really attached to you it will be nicer for her to have both parents around as usual. I would recommend staying in a hotel room/suite that has a kitchenette in it - makes it much easier to leave the stored milk, warm it up, bring meals in for you and DH to eat without having to worry about going out for each meal with DD. It's nice if the hotel is near a grocery store and/or casual eating places for DH to go out and get stuff during the day with DD while you're at work. If that's not available, make sure there is at least a fridge for storing your pumped milk. Definitely take the pump with you, and take it in to work. If you can nurse the baby, great. If not, you have the pump with you for backup. And leave some milk in the fridge before the first day in case.

For diapers and wipes, if I'm going on a longish trip, I take enough for about a day, then buy a small pack when there for the rest of the trip, otherwise you can easily fill your suitcase with diapers. A few toys are fine but you don't need to take a lot - baby will probably be plenty interested in the novel surroundings to stay entertained. (I just got back from a 5 day trip to a conference with my 7 month old, we just took a couple toys.) In terms of car seat, that depends on whether you will be going anywhere by car when you are in Calgary, and on whether you are going to take her as a lap infant on the plane or in her own seat. Some parents do like their baby in a car seat in the plane because they feel it's safer. I've always just had the baby in my lap. I think you just need to decide how you feel about it. But I doubt the baby will want to sit in the car seat when you're right next to her - she'll want to be in your lap! If you decide to do lap infant, try to ask for a row with an empty middle seat to get more space. I've had nice airline employees do that for me. Of course it depends on whether the flight is full. Also, if you are doing lap infant and you are not otherwise going to be driving the baby anywhere in Calgary, you can look into having a taxi or car service that provides its own car seat to take you from the airport to the hotel. If you're renting a car then you can take your own car seat or rent one from the rental company.

In terms of stroller, I guess that depends whether normally you take her around in the baby carrier or in a stroller. If you do use a stroller normally, then you can take the stroller with you. Go through security with the stroller and gate check it - usually they have you fold it up right before you step on the plane.

You can definitely do this! I also obsess about all the details before a trip like this but it's definitely doable, especially with DH's support. Also, congrats on the new job!

[@llli*filmmommy]

I would look into what's available to rent in Calgary. I know some areas have stroller/crib/car seat/high chair rental places. You may even be able to rent a pump, although it's probably easier to take yours rather than find the place and pick it up. We always have to pack too much stuff and I always feel exhausted just from packing and hauling! We're also big fans of VRBO apartment rentals. We tend to feel more comfortable for trips more than a few days if we can rent an apartment (and it's often a similar price to a hotel).

[@llli*evolvingmama]

We haven't moved, but have traveled long distance with the babe. I agree with pp that it would make the most sense to take DH and LO, if possible, to Calgary with you. If you do all go, here are my travel suggestions:

1. RE: diapers/wipes, as pp said, take what you need for 1 day and then make a purchase there for the remainder of the trip. Just leave behind what you don't end up using (though pack a few for the plane ride home).

2. Definitely look into an apartment rental if possible. VRBO, Airbnb and Homeaway are all really good. Having that extra space is SO, SO nice and just makes things go more smoothly. You and DH also won't be stuck having to be super quiet in a dark room when LO is sleeping and a kitchen space is invaluable. And, a lot of the apartments you can find are "family friendly" and will have a small selection of toys, a travel cot, etc. making less for you to pack!

3. Since she is still so small, I would recommend having her as a lap baby on the plane. She'll likely want to be held anyway and you have to pay for the extra seat with the car seat. Not worth it, in my opinion. But, do see if you can get a row with an empty seat in the middle.

4. We mostly babywear, but do find having a stroller is a helpful thing when we travel. We don't use it tons, but they are usually free to check, so nice to have. My experience has been that you can either check it plane side or at the ticket counter. We've done both and I prefer the ticket counter--it is such a hassle through security! If you do it this way, though, you do have to wait for it at baggage claim, so if you aren't checking anything else, you might prefer plane side. If you check it at the counter, you may want to consider putting it in a stroller bag for protection.

5. If you are going to have her on your lap on the plane, I'm not sure I would bother with a car seat unless it is part of your stroller. If you are going to hire a car, you can add on a car seat. If you aren't, you will probably find that public transport doesn't require them (taxis may--they don't in the UK--maybe call ahead to check?).

6. I also wouldn't bother with many toys. We take a few favorites in our checked luggage and a few novel toys and small favorites for the plane in our carryon. But, I imagine that your DH will take advantage of being someplace new and cool and they will be out and about during the day.

7. Depending on your airline's luggage allowances, we find that packing a backpack with all the baby's on plane necessities the easiest way to go--that way you can pop it under your seat and not worry about getting up and down when you need something.

8. I always take my pump. I've never used it but prefer to have it just in case.

A lot of cities have places where you can rent all sorts of baby equipment, so you don't have to lug it along with you. Might be worth checking if Calagary does?

My best advice is to just enjoy the travel with baby. Your routine with LO will probably be disrupted, even with your best efforts otherwise...just roll with it, things will get back to normal when you get home (and, you'll probably have an adjustment anyway with the move). Some moms I know swear by having a boppy pillow on the flight. I haven't ever taken one but I could see how they might make holding a sleeping baby a bit more comfortable.

We really enjoy traveling with the baby--it is definitely different than when it was just us, but it is really good. If you want to pm me if you have other/more specific questions, please feel free!

[@llli*auderey]

i agree with pps, and will add that generally public transportation doesn't require car seats. i wouldn't take my DS in a taxi without a seat, but shuttle buses, city busses, subway, etc are all easy with a baby carrier. we traveled to Las Vegas for my work when DS was 10 weeks and took the bus and it was WAY easier than wrangling the car seat which i did when we traveled again at 9 months.

[@llli*debbers]

Well wouldn't you know it, business trip was cancelled. Will prob be rescheduled for January. Not sure which is colder, Calgary in Dec or Calgary in Jan. I had secured my sister to travel with me as baby caretaker during my 2 days of business meetings and I think we were both a little nervous but also excited by the challenge. So I guess we are partly relieved but also curious as to how we would have done. Not going to think about it again till I hear the trip is back on. Have a relocation to focus on!