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Thread: Breastfeeding and sanity

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Northern Virginia
    Posts
    572

    Default Re: Breastfeeding and sanity

    I'm more like sassypants in my exercise pre and post-baby situation. I never exercised and then started after grad school and lost 25 lbs. Then I stuck with it and started to love exercise -- 5 days a week of intense exercise plus additional hiking, walking, yard work on my "off days." It was so hard to pretty much not exercise for a long time once baby was born -- once a week if I was lucky. With pumping 3x a day at work I couldn't find time during my lunch break (what I used to do), and weeknights and weekends were too busy to get much exercise in. I'm finally back up to almost 5 days a week, but it's not the 45 minutes to an hour I used to do. Running 6 miles is a dream, and I'm lucky if I can do 3. Workouts that used to seem like a fun challenge are now insanely difficult! But do what you can and take your baby (walks, runs) when you can. It will make you feel better.
    Mom to my sweet little "Pooper," born 10/12/11, and "Baby Brother," born 6/23/2014, and married to heavy metal husband. Working more than full-time, making healthy vegetarian meals for family, and trying to keep up with exercise routine.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    168

    Default Re: Breastfeeding and sanity

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*abigailfeldman View Post
    I've thought about going to a psychiatrist for postpartum depression/anxiety, but realized that I just need a community. Even if it's an online LLL community, it's better than feeling insufferably alone.
    I personally would encourage you to consider talking to your doctor (or your pediatrician, or a psychiatrist) about your experiences and feelings. While a community can do wonders, what you are describing could be post-partum depression (as someone pointed out earlier) and it can only help to have a chat with someone about ways to manage this (medication, counseling, PPD support groups, etc.). Having said that, I also can't say enough about the importance of a good community--it can be so helpful. I'm glad you found the LLL forums and I hope you continue to find them useful. But, I'd also encourage you to find your local LLL group. I see you are in Alexandria, VA. Here's a link to their local page: http://lllvawv.org/breastfeeding-help/nova/

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*abigailfeldman View Post
    Exercise has always helped with all that stuff, but I often feel like a big fat (ugh) failure for not going.... the hours literally slip by EVERY single day. My mom lives with us, so I'll just have to ask her to watch Matty for an hour... that's what we did before my meltdown.
    Initially, I wanted to tell you to not force the weight loss issue and to give yourself some slack about exercising. It's important to listen to your body and follow its lead--doing only as much as you feel you are able to. If you are too tired to workout, it's okay not to. But (and while I think all that is true), after reading your posts a few times, it sounds to me like exercise is about more than just weight management for you (though, there is that component), so that might not be all that helpful advice. It sounds like, in addition to the weight aspect of things, you find exercise is a good way to improve your emotional health and to feel better about yourself and your situation. Can I echo the suggestions of some other posters? Strap your baby on in a carrier and go for a good long walk. Or, if you don't want to babywear, push LO in a stroller. I can't tell you how much both my baby and I benefit from some time outside. Even if I am walking and lost in thought (=not talking to baby) he loves taking in the new sights and sounds and is usually really calm. If running is your thing, can you get a jogging stroller? Maybe check Craigslist is money for a new one isn't available. Also, your idea of having your mom watch LO is great--you do need to take care of yourself and if she and LO are happy to be on their own for an hour or so (and you are happy with that), then go for it!

    As lots of people have said already, babies constantly change (and, personally, I always felt like someone was always warning me about the next growth spurt and then it was teething!). I feel that when my LO gets into a rhythm it means he's about to change again. All that to say -- don't worry too much. LO will go through the spurt and things will calm down again. It's helpful to remind yourself of that when you are feeling antsy or irritated by constant nursing.

    Last thing (promise!), if you want to try co-sleeping maybe start with naps. I had a hard time with it in the beginning too--especially at night as I was SO tired and it was uncomfortable and I just kept thinking, "I WANT TO SLEEP" and I couldn't. Maybe some of the pressure would be off with naps? Also, I saw a diagram in a Dr. Sears book (can't remember which one--maybe the Sleep Book) that helped me a TON. They suggested laying on your side with a pillow at your back (slightly tucked under your back to give you support), a pillow between your legs, your arm (on the side you are laying) tucked up and under your head/pillow (like you are sleeping on your hand) and your other arm over baby. The pillow at the back and legs was the most helpful for me. Also, my husband slept on the couch a few nights so I could get a little space between me and the baby and just get a little more used to having him in bed with me. That helped too.

    Good luck!

  3. #13

    Default Re: Breastfeeding and sanity

    I just want to say, I really really appreciate this post! I have been having a comically tragic month, it seems. Since my 30+ hour labor which led to an unwanted cesarean section, my baby boy is 4 weeks old today. I thought we were in the groove, but this past weekend he started literally screaming every time he was not in my arms or nursing. My husband was bottle feeding once a day with expressed breast milk, but I've had to take a break from pumping b/c my left breast was only getting like 25 drops so I stopped for the past week. My hubby nags me and only says negative comments about breastfeeding, it is really starting to make me wonder should I quit. He says the only time he enjoys Brody is when he gets to give him his bottle, and now I "took even that away from him."
    Yesterday I was getting ready to go to my first post natal LLL local meeting, and for some reason I forced my wedding ring on, which I have been too swollen to wear since like 5 months pregnant. Well, ladies, don't do that! I ended up having to go to Urgent Care and getting it cut off my finger!!! Not that material things are that important, but dammit! This, on top of my broken toe and having to get my entire big toenail ripped out when we'd been home 8 days cuz I tripped with the baby in my arms....no worries, he never even stirred, but OuCH...and gross! So all this ridicularity is happening to me, and all I wanna do is be a good mom and breastfeed before I have to go out and get a job. It is seemingly harder and harder, instead of getting easier.
    I guess I will try to pump more to keep everyone happy, and I'm sure that all this will get better with time. Right?!?! Ahhh, thanks for listening.

    Ceana

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    6,564

    Default Re: Breastfeeding and sanity

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*dnadabster View Post
    I just want to say, I really really appreciate this post! I have been having a comically tragic month, it seems. Since my 30+ hour labor which led to an unwanted cesarean section, my baby boy is 4 weeks old today. I thought we were in the groove, but this past weekend he started literally screaming every time he was not in my arms or nursing. My husband was bottle feeding once a day with expressed breast milk, but I've had to take a break from pumping b/c my left breast was only getting like 25 drops so I stopped for the past week. My hubby nags me and only says negative comments about breastfeeding, it is really starting to make me wonder should I quit. He says the only time he enjoys Brody is when he gets to give him his bottle, and now I "took even that away from him."
    Yesterday I was getting ready to go to my first post natal LLL local meeting, and for some reason I forced my wedding ring on, which I have been too swollen to wear since like 5 months pregnant. Well, ladies, don't do that! I ended up having to go to Urgent Care and getting it cut off my finger!!! Not that material things are that important, but dammit! This, on top of my broken toe and having to get my entire big toenail ripped out when we'd been home 8 days cuz I tripped with the baby in my arms....no worries, he never even stirred, but OuCH...and gross! So all this ridicularity is happening to me, and all I wanna do is be a good mom and breastfeed before I have to go out and get a job. It is seemingly harder and harder, instead of getting easier.
    I guess I will try to pump more to keep everyone happy, and I'm sure that all this will get better with time. Right?!?! Ahhh, thanks for listening.

    Ceana
    If the only time your husband enjoys the baby is when he feeds him with a bottle, it sounds like your husband has a problem - not you. He needs to get over that and quick. I'm sorry that you're having such a tough time. The good thing is that these phases with babies end quickly and then they are on to the next one. Both of my daughters went through a screamy period and we all came out the other side. Maybe you should start a new thread so more people see your post.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    2,214

    Default Re: Breastfeeding and sanity

    Hi Abby, just wanted to chime in that I am totally with you on the exercising to maintain sanity front. My exercise habits did change a lot post-kids, though. I agree with many of the PPs that getting outside with baby in a carrier or a stroller can work wonders - something about the combination of fresh air and physical activity always lifts my mood, and babies love it too! (It was also often the best way to get my first baby to nap). Since we're heading into winter though, there may be times when it's hard to get outside. My solution to that was to get an exercise bike. I usually hop on once I get baby to sleep at night. I also agree with the idea of having mom (or DH) watch the baby for a bit so you can get your exercise time in. Usually I would hand LO over right after nursing so as to finish before LO was ready to nurse again.

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    6,467

    Default Re: Breastfeeding and sanity

    didn't read all the replies but I wanted to agree with a lot of what has been said. I too struggled with ppd after both children. The isolation was worse when I didn't exercise and felt cooped up all day. Talk to your doctor asap about that.

    I too use MyFitnessPal and love it!, one thing that helps me with weight and fighting ppd is going outside in the fresh air, I started with my kid(s) in a jogging stroller and they napped during my walk. Now I'm doing about 3 miles at a time 3 days a week and it feels perfect for me. Point being even with a high needs child you can get out with baby and exercise.
    Mommy to Maxwell 10-9-07 weaned with love (a party and a remote control monster truck) on his 4th birthday
    My Boy 3-16-10
    And my sweet pea Sam 2-12-11

    Watch Your Language

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    212

    Default Re: Breastfeeding and sanity

    On the husband thing:
    First, remind your husband (and yourself) that this is a (relatively) very short phase. You're only 4 weeks in. There is a whole lot that is not really enjoyable right now. Things will change for all of you and you all need to just hang in there for now.

    Second, Enjoying a baby is a learned art. You are not taking something away from him. You are doing what you need to do to make this work. If it is important to him, you can try to pick it back up as that becomes possible. In the meantime, holding, diaper changing, singing, rocking, and other things like that can be really helpful and bonding experiences. Maybe not immediately enjoyable with a screamy baby, but important and if he sticks with them he and the baby will find their own stride.

    Third: Try having your husband with you two when feeding sometimes. We had some really nice quiet moments cuddled together on the couch while I leaned on DH and nursed the little guy. It let us all slow down and let DH be a part of the experience but didn't require pumping to make it happen.

    All the best. Remember to breathe deeply and take things one moment at a time.

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