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Thread: Feeling discouraged

  1. #1

    Unhappy Feeling discouraged

    Well I have a 7 week old baby, who I have wanted to breastfeed (but open to the occasional expressed milk bottle) well my husband's family has agreed to help watch her a little, I'm not very close to them so I let him work out the details, apparently they wanted to give her formula. So they did while I pumped at home. I wasn't happy but decided to let it go. She has been a very fussy baby (colic maybe?) and my husband keeps saying over and over "we should try formula" apparently when his family had her (they've taken her 3 times) she was not very fussy at all, which led my husband to want me to formula feed. The times they took her (two overnights) I had a long stretch without breastfeeding, which I think may have reduced my supply. He kept pushing it on me, I got frustrated but continued to breastfeed. I almost broke down one day and gave her a bottle because it felt like she didn't like my breastmilk. Well this last weekend I got really sick with a sinus infection (really bad) and the urgent care dr put me on Augmentin and Naproxen, she said I couldn't breastfeed with those. So starting Saturday evening I had to pump and dump and give formula. I felt so defeated. Yesterday she slept most of the day and was really limp, my husband thought it was the formula (I'm not sure?) but I think it may have been a cold she sounds a little congested. Well today comes, I gave in and gave her breastmilk starting last night, and today she's been WIDE awake all day and very fussy. I don't know what's going on. This led my husband to keep pushing the formula on me, I feel like he's trying to make me feel guilty and I'm depressed about it. I did call the pediatrician this morning and she said it IS actually OK to breastfeed while on these meds (sigh!). I notice that my baby is sucking less hard at my breasts so I think she's getting less, so I had to give her 2oz this afternoon of formula. I think she is getting frustrated with my nipples, the bottle is easier to feed from. I don;'t know what to do about my husband either, our marriage has been on the rocks and I don't want another fight to come up.

    I appreciate any advice/help, I want to succeed at breastfeeding.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
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    Default Re: Feeling discouraged

    Hi soulfire. Sorry to hear you've been having a hard time. You CAN breastfeed. But some of the stuff you describe is going against establishing a good BFing relationship with your baby. You need to ditch the formula. And talk to your husband about not giving baby formula, and tell him to talk to his family about not giving formula. Everytime the baby has formula, it's undermining your breastfeeding relationship. Babies can be fussy whether they're on formula or breastmilk; giving the baby formula is not the answer for dealing with fussiness. And you need to be with the baby. Why is baby spending the night with your husband's family? I know it seems really appealing to get a good night' sleep without baby, but the way baby stimulates milk supply in you is to nurse, and she can't do that if you're not together. If you're back to work already, that's fine (plenty of us have made breastfeeding work with short maternity leaves) but otherwise be with your baby as much as possible and nurse as much as possible.
    I'm a little worried about your description of your baby being "limp." If that continues, I would see your pediatrician.
    Good luck, and keep visiting the forum with questions. There are lots of breastfeeding mamas on here who can help you.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Feeling discouraged

    Thank you for your reply, I think she was limp because she was really tired and I'm pretty sure she has a cold (she sounds very congested). She had 2 overnights and 1 day visit the overnight was because she had many nights in a row of being up until 4 or 5 screaming and my husband gets up at 5:30 and I get the kids to school at 7:30. I was so exhausted it was becoming detrimental to my ability to function. I am stopping the formula, I wish my husband wasn't pushing it on me. He just said "she's gassy again" and I said "she's always gassy" and he said "yeah right".. and a little while before he said he feels like I made the decision without him to go back to the breast. He was very supportive of it while I was pregnant why is he changing his tune now? Sorry to vent I'm just so frustrated and at the end of my rope

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Feeling discouraged

    I would not let anyone who would only be willing to watch my baby if they could feed formula watch my child. Period. And I highly recommend NOT being separated overnight from your LO this early. You shouldn't be away from her for any length of time while your milk supply is being established.

    Way too lazy for formula

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    Default Re: Feeling discouraged

    I don't understand why your husband keeps pushing formula. Do you know? Is it because he thinks your baby is not getting ENOUGH to eat? Or do you take dangerous drugs (and I don't mean what you had to take for your illness-btw always check with these folks about if a medication is REALLY not compatible with breastfeedig, very few are a problem and often there is another option in the reare case a particular medication is a problem. www.infantrisk.com ) or do you have a deadly disease that can be spread to your baby via breast milk ingestion? because those are the only reasons, ever, to consider not giving a baby his or her mother’s milk or supplement with formula assuming the mother is willing and able to provide her baby with her own milk. Which it sounds like you are.

    Formula has been proven, again and again and again, to be detrimental to human health. Human babies were made to consume human milk, and nothing else. In fact, they are made to consume their OWN mother’s milk, and nothing else. If they cannot get that, the next best thing is unpasteurized breastmilk from a safe door, and after that, pasteurized breastmilk from a milk bank. Formula is WAY down the list. This is not some nutty opinion from crunchy crackpots. Science has proved this again and again and again and again.

    Every child health organization of any repute says that babies should be EXCLUSIVELY breastfed in order to achieve normal health outcomes. That means no formula unless it is medically necessary. A baby being gassy or fussy on its own is just normal, and not a medical emergency.

    Your husband surely loves you and your baby. But someone or something has convinced him that breast milk substitutes are somehow better for your baby than the real thing. Can you talk to him about his concerns so you can come to a meeting of the minds about this?
    Last edited by @llli*lllmeg; October 29th, 2012 at 11:26 PM.

  6. #6
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    Oct 2012
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    Default Re: Feeling discouraged

    Sounds like you have a lot going on between new baby, older kids, DH's job etc. Any way you can get some help other than having your husband's family take the baby? For example maybe they can help out with the older kids? Or help out with some meals or basic housekeeping? Exhaustion is a real issue when you have a newborn in the house. If you're up all night with the baby, it helps to take a nap during the day when baby naps, but obviously you can't do that if you're watching the older kids. Have you tried asking DH why he has changed his tune with regards to breastfeeding? Sounds like he may also be stressed out and tired and having the opportunity to talk through that might be helpful.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Feeling discouraged

    ...I didn't get anything about older kids?

    Way too lazy for formula

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
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    Default Re: Feeling discouraged

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*soulfire View Post
    I get the kids to school at 7:30.
    I took this to mean there are older kids?

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