Happy Mothers Breastfed Babies
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Bottle preference and unsupportive husband :(

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    92

    Default Bottle preference and unsupportive husband :(

    I returned to work two weeks ago and at first LO (14 weeks) wouldn't take the bottle. Now she takes the bottle fine but cries at my breast It's disheartening. What's worse, is my hubby keeps promoting bottles (to make his day easier, he's primary caregiver while I'm at work). Last night I literally had to swat his hands away when he tried to take her to give her a bottle when she fussed at my breast. I keep telling him that to make breastfeeding successful for me, I need to have her nurse directly as much as possible. He doesn't believe me and thinks I only want it for selfish reasons. I don't want to be 24/7 pumping mom (pumping at work is hard enough), any other working mom's go through the same thing? How'd you get LO to take the breast when you're home?

    On another note, would teething cause this crying/fussy behavior (and not bottle preference)? She keeps smaking her lips and making tongue gestures (she's little over 3-months so seems too early?).

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    miles from nowhere
    Posts
    11,107

    Default Re: Bottle preference and unsupportive husband :(

    Tell your husband to hook himself up to a pump for five minutes and see what it's like. I understand that it's hard to hear a baby fuss, but you are absolutely right that you need to nurse when you are together.

    Here is some great info about how to deal with nipple confusion.

    This article has some great tips for how your husband can bottle feed your baby in a way that is more conducive to breast feeding success.

    I didn't have the problem of my husband wanting to give bottles when I was there, but he did watch our baby during the day and it seemed to give him the feeling that he knew better than me how to deal with her. As much as I could I tried to support him and listen to him, but when it came to nursing...that was my thing and I didn't want him interfering. Try to explain to him that you are away from your baby all day long and when you come home you both need that time to reconnect with each other. That you aren't being selfish by wanting to nurse her, you are maintaining your breastfeeding relationship. Exclusive pumping can be done, but it is hard, hard, hard work and many moms lose their supply or have a hard time keeping up, especially as baby grows. Not to mention the emotional effect it will have on you to be pumping when you WANT to be nursing.

    This is just a blip in your nursing journey, mama. You can get past this and continue nursing your baby. Keep talking to your husband.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    21,346

    Default Re: Bottle preference and unsupportive husband :(

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*still.here View Post
    Tell your husband to hook himself up to a pump for five minutes and see what it's like. I understand that it's hard to hear a baby fuss, but you are absolutely right that you need to nurse when you are together.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    2,475

    Default Re: Bottle preference and unsupportive husband :(

    Pumping is hard work. Additionally, baby is MUCH more efficient at expressing milk from you than any pump. Solely pumping can affect your production and therefore make it that much harder to keep up.

    I would suggest that you sit down with your DH when baby is happy and quiet, when it's not so emotional. It's difficult when you're in the heat of the moment.

    Tell him that you miss your daughter desperately while you're at work. When you come home, you need that connection with her. Your milk production and your response to her needs is dependent on you nursing her. Let him know that you appreciate his wonderful care of her during the day. You need him to be supportive of your care for her while you're home. Although you're sure he doesn't mean to, his actions feel like he's not only not supportive, but that he's trying to sabotage you as well.

    Hopefully once he hears about how you feel when emotions are lower, he'll understand. It could be that he thinks he's helping. Talk to him.
    Mommy to our DD1 early bird (34 weeks, 2 days, 7lbs, 14oz)! Oct. 2nd, 2008 Emergency C-Section, Frank Breech, HEALTHY Girl!
    Weaned @ 17 months
    Our DD2 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 12oz) Aug. 10th, 2010 Our Successful VBAC, growing like a bad weed!
    Weaned @ 15 months
    Our DD3 early bird (37 weeks, 3 days, 7lbs, 6oz) Feb. 16th, 2012 Our 2nd VBAC and lightening speedy birth!

    Loving being a Mom of 3, 40 months apart!!
    and

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    1,709

    Default Re: Bottle preference and unsupportive husband :(

    Not sure if it would help him understand, but fully breastfed babies also sometimes fuss at the breast. It's normal behavior and really doesn't mean they should get a bottle unless they are not getting enough at the breast.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    92

    Default Re: Bottle preference and unsupportive husband :(

    Thank you all for your encouragement, I really appreciate it. I don't have any friends still breastfeeding, so having people on my side helps a bunch Stillhere, thank you for those articles! I agree, hubby should hook himself up to the pump and gain some perspective! He's actually been better since I talked to him (I also showed him those articles and another one from Dr. Sears). He hasn't pushed a bottle since and LO is back at the breast (after a full weekend of exclusive BF). Thanks again everyone, feels good to read your responses.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •