Lac(k) of support

[@llli*carriev]

Hello, This is my first post on this site. I figured I'd come here for some advice/help with my breast feeding issues.

Sorry about my pun, but I wasn't sure how to title this post.
I am a stay at home mom to my son who is now 12 weeks old and I've been breast feeding him since day one. I'm not sure about going about this.

I used to be able to pump 5-6 oz a breast a sitting and now I'm lucky if I can get one ounce a breast a sitting. My son doesn't stay latched on as long as he used to. Every time I say something about it to my mom (hoping for some moral support) she tells me to see a lactation consultant and asks where the bottles are so she can feed him. My husband is starting to get better at supporting me with the breast feeding. He used to be so quick at grabbing a bottle when our son would become super fussy...

I am partially guilty because we keep formula in the house for those days that my son is a bottomless pit. I try not to give it to him unless I ABSOLUTELY have to. I hate the fact that some times I need to give it to him. I have stock piled my breast milk numerous times and as soon as I have a decent supply my son kills it off.

I have tried to build my supply back up by taking fenugreek and drinking the mothers milk tea. I also have an occasional beer to try to help. I also try to pump between feedings but that doesn't always happen during the day, in the evening when my husband gets home it's a little easier. I'd like to keep breast feeding until he's at least a year old but I'm starting to feel that it's impossible...

Is there any other advise anyone can give me?

[@llli*bfwmomof3]

Could you give us more specifics? How many times a day are you nursing? Pumping? Giving formula? How many wet diapers in a day? Have there been any problems with breastfeeding? How has his growth been? Most importantly, WHY are you giving formula? Not sure what you mean about your son being a bottomless pit... His job is to nurse and nurse so that he can grow and grow! And your job is to nurse and nurse so that you can keep up your supply!
If you want support, you've come to the right place!

[@llli*carriev]

I am nursing him about 5-10 times a day...and he usually only stays latched on for about 5 minutes, unless he happens to fall asleep. During the day I don't get to pump as much maybe 3 or 4 times and then in the evening I try to pump 5-10 minutes after every feeding..on average he's having 8-10 wet diapers a day. The only issues I had were in the beginning with him trying to latch on. The hospital had me using a nipple shield which I have since weened him off of. My son's pediatrician told me to give him formula before nursing him because of him having trouble latching on in the beginning. I was against it but now when my husband wants to feed him it's formula. His weight is great, I believe I was told he was in the 75 percentile for his weight..
When I say my son is a bottomless pit, I mean he sucks me completely dry and when he's hungry again it doesn't seem like he's getting anything at his next feeding...

[@llli*blueberrysmom]

The women on here are WONDERFUL! They just helped me "back off the edge" and gave me great advice and support to keep going with my 8 month old. You are definitely in the right place, mama!

Well, first you have to know that you can NEVER be completely dry. When my DD was your LOs age, I did not really understand how the BF process worked and I thought very similar things - that I needed to wait 2 hours so I could "fill up" again. My DD would also cry and seem hungry after she just ate and we too gave her formula. This was what we thought we needed to do, but it was really working AGAINST the whole process. As your baby drinks, your body makes milk the fastest!! You baby will always have milk to drink, it might just be a little slower than it was if he started eating after you went a little while without. The more stimulation you get, the more milk your body will make. So if he JUST ate, and he still seems hungry, then put him back on! even if it's been 5 or 10 minutes, that's saying to your body "MAKE MORE NOW!" and it will. The next time he eats, he'll have a little more than before, and so on and so forth. Our LO had a tongue tie, so her latch was also not great, I could feel the milk dripping out the bottom because she wasn't sealed tight. I know it seems very scary to let go of the formula. And the worst part is that I bet he sucks it right down, and you feel both satisfied and disappointed because you think "well he was hungry then!" and "I wish I could just make enough to feed him!" You can! Just let your body do it's thing. He will always suck down a bottle, because it's come out so fast that he has no way to regulate it, so all he can do is drink, even if he doesn't need it! But babies know what they are doing when it comes to nursing. He also may be crying for another reason and just wants to nurse for comfort, or to be near you, which is all good because it's stimulating and telling your body to keep up the milk! I'm sure other mamas will give you some more advice as well, as this is just what I learned from the last 8 months. You sound just like me 5 months ago - stay positive and know that you can do it!!!

[@llli*bfwmomof3]

I think blueberrysmom has explained things very nicely. It sounds like your son now has a good latch, he's at a good weight, he's making the appropriate number of wet diapers a day. So if you want to increase your supply, you need to stop supplementing with formula. That will work more wonders on your milk supply than anything else you can do. Nursing is generally better than pumping for increasing supply, so as much as possible, get that baby on the breast! Even if you feel baby has drained you dry, the more time he spends on your breast, the more it signals to your body to make more milk. If he's hungry, he'll keep sucking until he gets milk. A 12 week old who is 75th percentile for weight is not going to starve!

It sounds like part of the issue is that your mom and your husband are wanting to give the baby formula. You need to explain to them your commitment to breastfeeding, and the fact that formula is undermining that commitment. Once you get your supply to a good place, if they want to be involved in feeding, you can pump and let them give the baby the expressed milk, NOT formula. But I wouldn't do that until you've established a good routine where you and baby are in sync, your supply is up to where it needs to be to meet his demand, and you have established a good, formula-free breastfeeding relationship. I don't see any reason that you shouldn't be able to continue breastfeeding for as long as you and your son want!

[@llli*lizfairchild]

The first three months of my daughters life ALL I did was breastfeed. She wasn't very efficient in the beginning and I would literally nurse her for an hour straight, take a break for an hour and then nurse her for another hour. It was hard and I watched a lot of star trek, but it worked, she gained weight and I had plenty of milk. Like these ladies are saying, the more you nurse, the more milk you make! I noted that you said you nurse him 5-10 times a day and that seems like a big variation. I think for his age you should be nursing him at least 10 times a day. YOu can do it!

[@llli*mommal]

Like these ladies are saying, the more you nurse, the more milk you make! I noted that you said you nurse him 5-10 times a day and that seems like a big variation. I think for his age you should be nursing him at least 10 times a day.

. 5 times a day is NOT ENOUGH for an exclusively breastfed baby. 8 is the bare minimum, with most babies nursing more than that. Your body is smart: it will make only as much milk as the baby demands, because making extra is a waste of energy. Nurse less and you'll make less. Nurse more, and you'll make more.

Ditch the formula. I mean throw it in the trash and don't buy more. I apologize if that sounds harsh, but the truth is that you don't "absolutely need" to give formula, not if you nurse on demand and baby is having enough wet/poopy diapers. Supplements will just trash your supply; every time you skip a nursing session because you gave formula or even simply go longer between nursing sessions, your body responds by making less milk. And having bottles and formula in the house is an invitation to "helpful" family members to offer bottles when you need to be nursing.

Pumping 5-6 oz is excessive. When a mom's milk supply is well-matched to baby's needs, she's going to make much less, often about 1.5 oz of milk per hour from both breasts combined! so don't judge your supply by pump output or by how your breasts feel. Feeling empty doesn't mean that you are empty. As long at the baby continues to produce enough wet/poopy diapers, you're making enough milk and do not need to supplement.

Nurse more.
Formula in the trash.
Watch diaper output.

You can do it!

[@llli*carriev]

Thank you ladies, today I nursed him all day...it was rough but we're slowly getting there...of course a few times he was screaming for a long time which was getting frustrating and I just kept on it...Although there were times he didn't want to nurse at all when I'd try to even though he was sucking on his hands...I know I should nurse him more but I'm not sure what I should do if he doesn't want to nurse. Do I keep trying until he decides to latch on??

I told my husband not to buy anymore formula, although it didn't help that my mom had shown up today with a can for us...I just put it on the top shelf in the pantry where I can't see it.

[@llli*bfwmomof3]

Way to go, mama! Sucking on his hands does not necessarily means he's hungry (he's at the age when he's discovering and exploring his hands), so if you see him sucking on his hands, offer the breast, and if he's not interested, he may just be interested in his hands at that moment rather than the breast. (And soon enough he'll be ready for the breast again!) Thanks for the update.

[@llli*lllmeg]

If you cannot bear to toss the formula, freeze the formula in a block of ice. hey, works for credit cards, right?

I thought it was interesting when you said baby was a bottomless pit. I totally understand what you mean, but the fact is a baby is SUPPOSED to be a bottomless pit at this age...sort of. A young baby is growing at an INCREDIBLE rate, which takes an incredible amount of energy. So, it is all going somewhere-into that growth.
tips for encouraging baby to nurse: http://kellymom.com/bf/concerns/child/back-to-breast/