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Thread: New to Daycare 14 Week Old

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
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    20

    Default New to Daycare 14 Week Old

    Hello --

    My son started daycare last week while I returned to work. He is at a center and I have noticed some concerns in regards to feeding that I am hoping I can get some advice on.

    While home with my DS, I would feed him typically around every 3 hours. When I would give him a bottle it would be about 4 oz. Now at daycare, they are feeding him every 2 hours 4 oz. at a time. I have been generous in giving 20 oz. for a day of daycare (from around 7am-5pm) and they are using all of my milk! I can barely give them 20 oz. and I feel that he shouldn't be eating that much already. He is coming home completely stuffed and exhausted. He will barely feed one more time before bedtime. He has slept through the night until 5am because of this. This past weekend - we were back to the every 3 hour feedings and getting up once a night. When we ask daycare - their response is that he is "comfort feeding" and that "when babies see other babies with bottles they get hungry too." I feel these are ridiculous lines but we tolerated it since it was his first week of daycare. Today I gave 21 ounces and again they used it all. I am having a difficult time producing enough milk and I need to figure out another plan to make this work! I always thought you need 1.5 oz. for every hour you are away from baby which would make it 15 oz?

    Also - another thing that my DS has been into this past week is biting! He has been consistently biting when he is feeding. It is typically towards the end of feeding on a side but he has done it in the middle. I have taken him off and told him that it hurts mommy but being 14 weeks I'm not sure what he can process or not. Could it be teething/empty breast/tired and falling asleep/getting use to bottle?

    I appreciate any advice!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Northern Cal.
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    4,984

    Default Re: New to Daycare 14 Week Old

    Twenty ounces is INSANE for a day at daycare. Totally insane. Most women would never be able to pump that much. Most babies take 25-ish ounces in a whole day!

    You definitely need to have a talk with your DCP. This handout might be helpful to share with them. I wouldn't leave them that much milk, either. Maybe if you left a more reasonable amount - 15 oz for a 10 hour day, for example - they would use what you gave more judiciously? I'm also wondering if some is going to waste.

    P.S. As far as the biting issue, just remove the baby immediately from the breast every time he clamps down or bites. Babies that age are too young to understand language, but they understand cause and effect, and usually learn pretty quickly. Hang in there!


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    21,120

    Default Re: New to Daycare 14 Week Old

    INSANE! If they're overfeeding your baby, I bet they're overfeeding ALL the babies. It might be worth talking to some of the other parents, and getting their take on the situation. And it's absolutely imperative that you talk to the DCP, give them handouts, explain the diffrence between breast milk and formula, paced feeding, etc.

    In addition to sending less milk every day, you might want to start sending much smaller bottles. When you give someone a 4 oz bottle, they'll feed your baby a 4 oz bottle. I'd send 2-3 oz bottles, instead, with some 1-2 oz bottles for chasers. That way if your 3 month old baby gets "jealous" () they won't automatically reach for another large bottle.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
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    2,214

    Default Re: New to Daycare 14 Week Old

    My worry is that they are sticking a bottle in his mouth as a way to keep him quiet, rather than trying to engage, soothe, and comfort him (holding him, talking to him, singing to him, playing with him, giving him tummy time, etc). In addition to talking to his direct providers, I would talk to whoever is running the place. Some day care facilities have the attitude that their job is to keep the babies fed and diapered, but you do want attention paid to baby's development as well. If they are telling you that your 14 week old wants a bottle because he sees other babies having a bottle, it sounds like they don't have a great grasp of infant development.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    20

    Default Re: New to Daycare 14 Week Old

    I think they are trying to soothe him with food as well. Ugh - so frustrating. Today we asked them if they are going to feed him every 2 hours that they give him 3 oz. His feedings were as followed: 8:35 3oz/10:20 3oz(they said he had been crying since 9:40 for the bottle- ironically he had a wet diaper at 10:00) /12:45 they gave him 4oz so that "he'd be satisfied and sleep longer." I went and picked him up early at 3:45 and he was screaming (I asked for them to hold off until I picked him up from eating) - when I got him thinking he was hungry - I found that he had a wet diaper and I was able to change him. The infant room provider suggested that we need to get back to 4oz. because he had a bad day - and if I can't keep up with his feedings that we can use formula. That is not what I wanted to hear today! Also my husband and I have been lying to the daycare as to what time I nursed him in the morning by a 1/2 hour and ironically they feed him exactly 2 hours from the time we "told" them.

    Could it be anything with this being his second week at daycare? My mom watched him a couple of times during my maternity leave and she had no problems with him and feedings. I don't want my baby to starve or be hungry at daycare, but I am pretty upset about this whole situation. I am contemplating staying home from work tomorrow just to give him a break from daycare - but I know that isn't really the solution either. Frustrated mommy

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Texas, USA
    Posts
    50

    Default Re: New to Daycare 14 Week Old

    I have two girls, both were breastfed from birth and were in day care starting at 6 weeks. With the first one I was very up front with the providers. I told them she was on a 3 hour schedule at home and that is what I expected at school. As an aside, I also told them that if they felt she was starving after every feeding to let me know and we would try bigger bottles. I also only sent them enough bottles for feedings every three hours. It is very difficult to feed a baby what they don't have. Now with my second child I do the same thing. She is only about three weeks older than your son and she takes a 4oz bottle every three hours. That is all I will send. Originally, they attempted to tell me she was still hungry but when I explained to them that she gets more satisfaction from sucking than truly needing more to eat, they offered her a binky instead and that cured their telling me she needed more to eat. She sucks the bink for 5-10 minutes and is happy again until her next feeding sometimes longer. I know many parents choose not to use a paci for fear of nipple confusion and other things, but this is what worked for us. I also pump plenty and could send more milk if I felt it was necessary but I feed her bottles when we are out on the weekends and I see for myself that she does not need the extra milk. My advice is that if the teachers in the classroom will not honor your requests then you should speak to management and if you still have trouble then consider other childcare facilities. Good Luck!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
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    2,214

    Default Re: New to Daycare 14 Week Old

    Ugh, your situation sounds completely frustrating. He had a bad day because they are not paying attention to his needs, because it seems like the only strategy they have is to stuff him full! Not even changing his diaper?? Telling you that you better give him 4 oz every 2 hours (or whatever it is) otherwise you need to use formula? They definitely do not sound BFing-friendly.
    I agree with PP about talking to the management and otherwise considering another daycare - I know it's really stressful to think about that when you are newly back to work, but I think over the long run it's going to be more stressful to have him at a place where you are not on the same page with the people who are looking after him during the day. Meanwhile, the pacifier is not a bad idea if you are open to it and if baby is willing to take it (my first two babies had no interest in the pacifier). At least maybe they would feel like they can do something to soothe him other than the bottle. But again, over the long term do you really want him in a place where they just want him to be quiet all the time?

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
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    17,465

    Default Re: New to Daycare 14 Week Old

    Give them Smaller bottles mama. If they are going to fed every 2 hours than give them MORE 2.5oz bottles. It's ridiculous. Seriously. Not only are the completely misinformed, they are also trying to PRESSURE you and NOT respecting your wishes. Send smaller bottles and label them #1, #2, #3, #4, And be FIRM. They Work FOR YOU. And suggest they change his diaper when he's wet. Jesus.

    Way too lazy for formula

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