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Thread: Should I stop BFing at 9 months to be able to gain sanity?

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Montreal, Canada
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    124

    Default Re: Should I stop BFing at 9 months to be able to gain sanit

    (((Hugs)))

    The pressure to be a mom -- and a great one at that -- is enormous. It sounds like you're doing an awesome job & have a healthy, bright, thriving, and mobile lil' one.

    I'm not in the same place with the charts but nursing with just one breast I was constantly worried if she's getting enough, if her eating every 1.5-2 hours means she's never satisfied, or if (and yes, I've really had this thought) exclusive nursing was "unfair" to her.

    None of it is true.

    One thing I've learned in the past 6 months is to aspire to be a "good enough mom" and to trust my baby's signs more than books, doctors, and others. And that all moms have something they worry about. I'd say that crawling, good diapers, and meeting those milestones is cue enough -- you & DD are doing great.
    Mama to Viv since 4/08/12 -- my all natural post-breast cancer miracle baby

    with just one breast. So far so good.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Central New York
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    127

    Default Re: Should I stop BFing at 9 months to be able to gain sanit

    I think 8 months of stressing out is just getting to me. Like I said, it's hard being the one responsible for your babies growth when it's not going like you expected. I've really tried to read as much as I can, ask questions, talk things out with other parents, my husband, my family, the pedi and a lactation specialist (though I gave up on her months ago). But all I ever seem to get from anyone is "Why are you worrying?" or in my husband's case "I do not want to hear about this anymore, please just leave me alone." I do have a family history of anxiety, which I'm sure it coming into play here. I tried to make an appt with the LS at the hospital that DD was born at to have weighed pre and post feeding but they woman was never there and never returned my calls. I know that DD will take over 5 oz of EBM in a bottle, but I definitely don't make that much in one feeding and I know that that's okay and not a real indicator of her usual need is. Like I said, sometimes you just need someone to say "Hey, I get it, I've been there and you're NOT CRAZY. Everything will be okay." because I don't really get that from anyone around me. Since her next appt isn't until the end of November, I should probably just go in and get her weighed so I can see if she has put anything on. I know that she is burning a lot more cals crawling and climbing and all that. I'm assuming that's why I've been feeding her so often. I guess I am just having one of those cases of "why me? how come my baby can't fill up and then be okay for 3 hours?" I guess I'm just having a hard day. I didn't mean to come off so dramatic in my last post, I just feel like I've been dealing with this for so long and nothing seems to put my mind to rest!!

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    6,564

    Default Re: Should I stop BFing at 9 months to be able to gain sanit

    You know, my baby was the same way. I never worried that she was getting enough, I'm not sure why. She nursed every hour to two hours when I was with her until she was 18 months, I would guess. Including all night long. My pediatrician never worried about it, so I didn't worry about it. Your DH probably just wants to fix the problem or stop hearing about it. That's the way men are. Nobody is saying that you are crazy. But you aren't operating with all of the facts. You are operating with some facts and some assumptions. The largest assumption that you are making is that there is something wrong with your baby. If you really and truly think that, then you should take her to the doctor. If there is something wrong, then your doctor should be able to find it.

    And IF the doctor says that everything is ok, and everyone in your family is saying that everything is ok, and you are the ONLY person that doesn't think that everything is ok, then you should probably seek counseling for yourself. There is no shame in it. You could switch to formula and my guess is that it will not make your baby fatten up - and then where will you be? You'll be anxious about that decision and everything that goes along with it.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    SoCal
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    Default Re: Should I stop BFing at 9 months to be able to gain sanit

    My intent was to give you BTDT advice and to tell you to trust your body, I'm sorry if that's not the way my post was perceived.
    Mommy to Maxwell 10-9-07 weaned with love (a party and a remote control monster truck) on his 4th birthday
    My Boy 3-16-10
    And my sweet pea Sam 2-12-11

    Watch Your Language

  5. #15
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Central New York
    Posts
    127

    Default Re: Should I stop BFing at 9 months to be able to gain sanit

    Haha you sound like a very laid back mama, and I sooo wish I was like that. My sister in law is like that too, she's a PA and so she's probably been the most helpful through all my woes. I guess I've been operating on this assumption that everyone else can "say it's okay" but how can they possibly know? They are with Keira for such a short period of time and see just a snippet of how she eats and acts. They can say "it's okay" but they don't have to wake up 4-5 a night to feed her - all their kids, either BF or FF, slept through the night at 4-6 months. They don't have to spend their days 2 ft away from the Boppy at all times like I do. Like I said before, that's why I come here to LLL because it's BFing mothers and odds are there is someone other than me who understands. I appreciate what everyone has said, and I hope that I can just pull it together and stick it out for as long as I can. I don't want to give up, because I know it's so good for her and so important )

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
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    Default Re: Should I stop BFing at 9 months to be able to gain sanit

    Oh mama. If you're only waking up 4-5 times a night...count yourself lucky on that score.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    Default Re: Should I stop BFing at 9 months to be able to gain sanit

    Oh, I am not laid back. But thank you for thinking that. I was just stressing out about other things. And you should see how I'm obsessing about what kindergarten Lilah should go to - and have been obsessing about it for a year now - and she won't even be going until August 2014!!

    AND LET THE sleeping through the night thing go!!!!!!! My 21 month old is a chunk. An absolute chunk - although she's still only 50%ile, and she wakes up 3 to 5 times a night to eat. Lilah was a tiny thing and she woke more often than Trixie, but let me tell you, I have not slept through the night in 4 years!!

    Mama - I think you need to let go of some of your preconceived notions about parenting. And get to the doctor. I am not trying to be mean to you, but it sounds like you almost want something to be wrong with your child. The doctor is only going to see your child for a few minutes too. Does that mean that he/she won't have a valid opinion on the health of your child?

    Please believe me when I say that I am not trying to condescend you.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    6,564

    Default Re: Should I stop BFing at 9 months to be able to gain sanit

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*still.here View Post
    Oh mama. If you're only waking up 4-5 times a night...count yourself lucky on that score.
    Amen sister! Those months from 9 months to 14ish months when Lilah woke every 45 to 90 minutes? I'm glad I'm not there again!
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
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    SoCal
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    Default Re: Should I stop BFing at 9 months to be able to gain sanit

    Yes! My 20 month old still wakes up 4-5x a night. I haven't slept in 5 years . We hear you mama, but I also want you to take yes for an answer.
    Mommy to Maxwell 10-9-07 weaned with love (a party and a remote control monster truck) on his 4th birthday
    My Boy 3-16-10
    And my sweet pea Sam 2-12-11

    Watch Your Language

  10. #20
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Central New York
    Posts
    127

    Default Re: Should I stop BFing at 9 months to be able to gain sanit

    LOL Oh I know, I gave up worrying about STTN months ago. It was actually another one of my posts (can you tell I do a lot of worrying?) Keira is also teething now, so even when I have those "omg, go back to sleep" moments, I realize that nursing helps and I have to be understanding. I think Dr. Sears said on a video that you have to put yourself behind the eyes of your child and act how you would want your mommy to act. I don't expect to get a full nights sleep for a while.

    I definitely had many, many different ideas about parenting. I think I just expected to have what I thought to be a "normal" baby, who BF every 2 hours, then slowly stretched to 3, then 4 then had solids. At 12 lbs or 4 months slept through the night. One that hung around 50%, or even 25%. NONE of this has happened! But I guess I can't expect things to go the "normal" way all the time. I hear what you are saying about almost wanting something to be wrong with Keira. I assure you that I don't, I just want to do everything humanly possible to make sure she is growing and healthy. I am very well versed in self-doubt. When the pedi hands you formula before your milk even comes in 3 days after giving birth, it's not something you let go of easily - the notion that your baby's weight is the most important indicator of health. It's almost a crime that I spend so much time worrying about this issue, but it sounds like I have to just let it go before I really go off the deep end. Thanks for all the tough love, I hope I didn't offend anyone by being dramatic.

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