Should I stop BFing at 9 months to be able to gain sanity?

[@llli*blueberrysmom]

You all have been so helpful and understanding! I have been feeling so much better since reading your posts. It most certainly is not easy to persevere when I have been having so many doubts, but you all have given me some strength and I will really try to relax and just trust that I can make it through the next few months 's to all!

[@llli*auderey]

you can do this!

[@llli*mommal]

You can definitely do this!

[@llli*monika.h]

Being a mom can be tough! I had a really rough time with my 1st. I had alot of anxiety too. I believe it was post partum depression, although I did not want to seek help. Worried about everything, stuff that I didn't worry about with my 2nd. I also found having a baby to be very isolating. It was tiring being up at night and it was hard for me to adjust to life without a schedule. It was hard to get out of the house even though I knew it would be good for me. I wasn't sleep well due to the PPD so it became a vicious cycle as I was too tired to leave the house. Fortunately I did not have any of these problems when I had my 2nd 7 years later, things were great!

I'm not sure what your feelings about this are. From your post, I wonder if you could have postpartum depression/anxiety? Do you get together with other moms, get exercise and fresh air and have regular playgroups you look forward to? It can be tough with a new baby because it's not like at school or work where you have a schedule to follow and you've had an uninterrupted night of sleep. You kind of have to build your own day. Does any of this ring true?

[@llli*lllkaren]

Hi blueberrysmom! I'm glad you've gotten some encouragement here and are feeling better.

I have a question (that may have been answered somewhere in the thread; sorry if I missed it!)... Did you say that your baby's last "official" weigh-in was at 2 months? Has she not had a doctor appt since then, or does your ped not do a weight check at each visit?

I'm just thinking that having that professional evaluation of how your baby's growth and development is going would probably be reassuring.

About how often your baby should be nursing -- here's an article about the "Magic Number", which is the number of times per day a mom needs to nurse in order to keep her milk production steady. Basically, it depends on the storage capacity of the mother's breasts, and is different for every mom. A mom with a small storage capacity is going to need to nurse more often than a mom with a large storage capacity.

I remember my sister-in-law talking about how her babies nursed every 4 hours at 6 months old and I was shocked. Neither of mine ever went that long. Ever! They both nursed at least every 2 hours during the day and several times at night for the entire first year. My DS was nursing 10+ times per day at 13 months. Now I realize it's because my SIL had a much, much larger storage capacity than I did (I don't think I had any!).

So anything that describes a "normal" pattern for how often babies should nurse is going to be wrong for 95% of the population. What's actually normal is going to be something different for every mom and baby pair.

[@llli*blueberrysmom]

I also found having a baby to be very isolating. It was tiring being up at night and it was hard for me to adjust to life without a schedule. It was hard to get out of the house even though I knew it would be good for me.

I'm not sure what your feelings about this are. From your post, I wonder if you could have postpartum depression/anxiety? Do you get together with other moms, get exercise and fresh air and have regular playgroups you look forward to? It can be tough with a new baby because it's not like at school or work where you have a schedule to follow and you've had an uninterrupted night of sleep. You kind of have to build your own day. Does any of this ring true?

I am type A personality all the way. I love schedules - but babies certainly do not. I read once that babies thrive on routine, but do not do well with a schedule. I have tried really hard not to put too much pressure on us to keep a schedule because I know it will cause lots of frustration. I think there are 2 things that really prevent me from getting out more. One is that I am about as good as NIP as Keira is walking on her own, which means I am tethered to the boppy and my car, and finding remote places to park is sometimes very difficult. Keira doesn't stay latched for very long, so I would be constantly exposing myself. She refuses to nurse under a blanket, I have tried so many times...lol That is my biggest obstacle because at home I can NOD, but out and about she'll need to wait until we can get somewhere private and her crying makes me feel like we should have just stayed home. Secondly, and this is going to sound really dumb, but getting dressed seems like a lot of work some days hahaha That's really terrible, probably the worst excuse ever. We usually just play at home and I do a lot of housework. Hubby doesn't have a lot of time to help me with work, teaching, masters classes, etc. I should try to make more of an effort to get out, but we do go shopping or run errands a couple times a week.

I do have a history of anxiety and OCD in my family. I think is it rearing it's ugly head right about now and making my situation more difficult than it really needs to be. I have a couple mom friends that I get together with every couple weeks for an hour or two. They are my husband's friend's wives, so we are friendly but none of my close friends are married yet alone pregnant or have children. So yes, I agree it can be very isolating and very tiring with lack of a good nights sleep. I think the biggest reason that the 1 yo mark is my goal is so that I can finally have a little bit of my life back. We can go out all day to all sorts of places and I can just give her a cup of milk and a snack when she's hungry, rather than have to go through this whole process of crying and then finding a spot and then her not eating well because she's distracted by all the buttons on the dashboard lmao... but it'll be worth it, so I've just got to get my head straightened out and I should be okay

[@llli*blueberrysmom]

Hi blueberrysmom! I'm glad you've gotten some encouragement here and are feeling better.

I have a question (that may have been answered somewhere in the thread; sorry if I missed it!)... Did you say that your baby's last "official" weigh-in was at 2 months? Has she not had a doctor appt since then, or does your ped not do a weight check at each visit?

I'm just thinking that having that professional evaluation of how your baby's growth and development is going would probably be reassuring.

About how often your baby should be nursing -- here's an article about the "Magic Number", which is the number of times per day a mom needs to nurse in order to keep her milk production steady. Basically, it depends on the storage capacity of the mother's breasts, and is different for every mom. A mom with a small storage capacity is going to need to nurse more often than a mom with a large storage capacity.

I remember my sister-in-law talking about how her babies nursed every 4 hours at 6 months old and I was shocked. Neither of mine ever went that long. Ever! They both nursed at least every 2 hours during the day and several times at night for the entire first year. My DS was nursing 10+ times per day at 13 months. Now I realize it's because my SIL had a much, much larger storage capacity than I did (I don't think I had any!).

So anything that describes a "normal" pattern for how often babies should nurse is going to be wrong for 95% of the population. What's actually normal is going to be something different for every mom and baby pair.

Keira was weighed last at her 6 mo check up (though she was already 6.5mo) and she was 13 lb 14 oz, which put her at about 8% for her length of 26". She has a flu shot appt today, and I don't think they normally do vitals for a nurses visit, but I think I'll ask them to just so I can get some peace of mind - or at least just to know if it doesn't bring peace of mind I've always sort of wondered that since she only nurses a little while (5-10 minutes for both sides) with at least as 4 switches if she gets FM and doesn't get enough HM. She always pops off on her own though and seems happy. I try to put her on again and she just won't take it. IDK if she's impatient or what but she definitely needs to eat the left first to trigger the letdown on the right, otherwise she won't eat on the right at all. She had formula in a bottle for a little while for a couple months in the beginning but she doesn't take bottles hardly ever now. I'm just not sure!

I will read that article, thanks for posting it and for your info

[@llli*mommal]

Fast nursing in an older baby doesn't mean anything except that baby is an efficient feeder, getting all she needs in a short amount of time.

Switching sides is probably just a nursing quirk. It could be that your baby has learned that if she pops off breast A for a minute or two, nurses on breast B for a moment, and then goes back to A, she'll be able to trigger a faster flow from A. Don't worry about the foremilk/hindmilk thing. There's really no such thing as foremilk and hind milk, just milk. It's relatively low-fat, high carb, and refreshing when the breast is more full, and as the breast is emptied it gets progressively higher in fat. But there's fat present even at the beginning of the feeding. You can't feed a baby "skim" milk, especially if you allow her to control the feeding and empty a breast at her own pace, even if it means she's popping on and off all the time.

[@llli*blueberrysmom]

All right, so we went for our flu shot and had her weighed. 15 lbs 3 1/2 oz, which is a gain of 2.75oz a week for 8 weeks. I can't really feel too bad about that. This is easily the best I've felt after a weigh in since she gained 5 oz the weekend after she was born lol. Thanks everyone for your support!!

Switching sides is probably just a nursing quirk. It could be that your baby has learned that if she pops off breast A for a minute or two, nurses on breast B for a moment, and then goes back to A, she'll be able to trigger a faster flow from A. Don't worry about the foremilk/hindmilk thing. There's really no such thing as foremilk and hind milk, just milk. It's relatively low-fat, high carb, and refreshing when the breast is more full, and as the breast is emptied it gets progressively higher in fat. But there's fat present even at the beginning of the feeding. You can't feed a baby "skim" milk, especially if you allow her to control the feeding and empty a breast at her own pace, even if it means she's popping on and off all the time.

I think you are right, she may have just figured out a way to get the milk to come at her preferred pace. Needless to say I look pretty lopsided w/o a bra on because she likes the left so much more. Oh well! lol Yea, I wanted to slug my mom when she said I made "skim milk". She's a real help, that one... she loves commenting "Wow, that's it!?" after I've nursed for 5 minutes or so and tells me that I should make her eat more so she'll stay full longer. As if I can shove it down her throat like a bottle. Sheesh...

[@llli*mommy2lilah]

How is it below average? I thought that average was between 0.25 and 0.5 ounces per day - and you're looking at 0.4 ounces per day. And your baby has started moving - so she's burning off quite a few calories that way.

I'm glad you got her weight checked.