Happy Mothers Breastfed Babies
Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: trying to latch on to odd spots

  1. #1

    Default trying to latch on to odd spots

    My ds is now 8 and half months old and the last couple weeks he has decided to unlatch from the breast and try to latch on to my solder or thigh or belly he quickly goes back to the breast but is this normal? He is supper active when feeding to start with he will sit maybe stand rock him self I let him do what ever he pleases as long as he is happy eating and not biting me we are all good but him unlatching to suck on other places is confusing because if i take it as a sign of hes done eating he has a wing ding fit but I dont really care for the messing around its one thing to be latched and kinda playing around but latching and unlatching gets old fast. I have tried the tell him no put it away and try again in a little but he has one of those end of the world yelling fits and I cant seem to last more than a few seconds with out wanting to scoop him up and give him what he wants. My husband feels I am spoiling our son because I wont let him cry it out I refuse to let him cry for more than 5 mins and it at any point it becomes the ungodly screems in the 5 mins I go get him. We have way diffrent views of how to raise our son. Like he feels I should move our son to bottles as well as let him cry it out becasue our son still will wake up for night feedings and some days feels he should stay awake at 3 am over go back to bed causing a fight because if hes happy playing alone in his crib I let him his soft baby talk dosent bother me but it really bugs my DH. I feel so ganged up on because he is like my friends say your spoiling him your doing it all wrong My sister lets her son cry it out and bottle feeds her son and he sleeps though the night ....His friends dont know diddly none of them have kids this is his first child and It just bothers me that I have a 8 year old well behaved little girl but he rather take advice of others over see that maybe doing it the way I did for her will work out just fine. Sorry for the little vent there on top of my main problem but I am just at the end of my rope and just had to get it off my chest

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,997

    Default Re: trying to latch on to odd spots

    Older babies and funny nursing quirks go together like bread and butter. Acrobatics at the breast are normal, and so is trying to latch onto mom's elbow or her cheek or whatever. It's part of baby's way of exploring and learning about his world! If the latching/unlatching thing bothers you, I think you've been approaching it in the right way. End the feeding temporarily, put baby down, and walk away for a little bit. Not long- just a few moments should be enough to start teaching baby that antics at the breast = interruption of the feeding. His yelling is a good sign that he does not like it when you interrupt him, and that's a good indication that he has incentive to learn not to fool around when he's eating.

    With respect to your DH, I would pick a calm time of day after the kids are in bed and let him know the following:
    1. You will not be using CIO techniques on your child.
    2. You will not be using bottles.
    3. If your DH wants to be a supportive husband, he will stop mentioning CIO and bottles.
    4. If your baby's nighttime waking is bothering your DH, you need to come up with a plan as a couple to fix it. A plan that does not involve CIO or bottles, because those 2 things are non-negotiable. Perhaps your DH could use earplugs. Or sleep in a diffeent room. Or use a sound machine. Or something.

    When it comes to your friends and your sister, I suggest not discussing your parenting choices with them. If they comment on your parenting choices, I would either ignore them or let them know that their comments are unwelcome. Saying something straightforward like "That's a very personal subject, and I do not want to discuss it with you; if I want your opinion I will ask for it" is often enough to shut down the commentary. If they continue to press, remind them that you're not judging their parenting style, so they shouldn't be judging yours.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Northern Cal.
    Posts
    4,984

    Default Re: trying to latch on to odd spots

    On all counts. If you're the one waking and nursing your LO at night, in my opinion, you're the one who should get to decide how to handle night wakings. If you're happy with it, it's okay. Or at least, tell him you're open to suggestions, as long as they don't use bottles or CIO.

    P.S. Sometimes when husbands complain about night wakings, they're really trying to say that you don't, ahem, spend enough time with them. Trying to have some couple time (cough cough) can go a long ways towards getting DH on your side as far as parenting issues. Just a thought.


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Victoria, BC, Canada
    Posts
    940

    Default Re: trying to latch on to odd spots

    Buy your husband some ear plugs.

    Also, take some time to listen to your husband and find out where his coming from. Specifically, what feelings he has that are underlying his opinions about what you should do. Like joesmom said, it could be about him wanting more 'couple time' or perhaps he sees you staggering around like a zombie and is concerned for your health. Or perhaps he's getting an earful from his mother. Or perhaps he's terrified his son will grow up wimpy if you don't let him CIO. If you take a look at the book 'nonviolent communication', it could help you alot in your communications with your husband.

    As for your friends, I found it best just not to discuss your parenting style at all. If you start to discuss with them, they think you are open to suggestions. If it comes up you can change the topic, ignore, or just tell them it upsets you to talk about it and you like what you're doing.

    It can help to make some like-minded mom-friends. LLL and attachment parenting groups are a good place to start.
    Canadian mom and breastmilk fan.
    We have 2 beautiful children: Luana who's 9 y/o, had breastmilk for 2 years and is smart as a whip. Lucas who came out kickin', is 4 y/o and continues to enjoy his milkies.

  5. #5

    Default Re: trying to latch on to odd spots

    Its more him talking to his friends and seeing how his sister has picked to raise her son and than when gets mad at me picking our son up when hes crying like no tomorrow over letting him cry it out he is like my friends say your doing it all wrong he will be a whimp and yoru spoiling him. We have no shortness of adult time my parents watch both kids a little every day he just feels the baby waking up is disturbing his sleep and wont use ear plugs and just gets up set over the waking I actualy do better with less sleep and ya some nights i am not all to excited to jump out of bed at 2 am but I do enjoy my night feedings and watching him nurse as he fights off sleep over do his normal up down all over feeding. My husband did give up the fighting me on nursing on demand and in public because he finaly got it though his head our son is not over weight hes fine how he is and i am not just hanging my boob out there for everyone its not really something you notice

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,997

    Default Re: trying to latch on to odd spots

    In that case, let me add 2 things to my list of things to say to your DH:
    5. Stop talking to your friends and sister about parenting. Their advice and their opinions are only causing problems in our family.
    6. It is normal for new parents to have to adjust their sleeping arrangements Round interruptions and neediness from a baby. You need to learn how to be flexible about sleep, just as I have had to learn to be flexible about being up in the middle of the night.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Victoria, BC, Canada
    Posts
    940

    Default Re: trying to latch on to odd spots

    I can certainly understand your dh getting annoyed by being woken in the night. However, this is reality with a baby. Does your son sleep in the same room as you? If he's in his own room, you could camp out there for a bit, maybe have a single mattress on the floor for you, so you can get to him quicker and disturb your dh less.

    As for comparing you to his sister, your dh is going to have to get over the fact that you're not his sister. You are you and how you parent is not going to be the same as how she does it. It's a myth, also, that you let your baby CIO for a few nights and they never cry or wake you up again.

    Your baby will definately not grow up being a whimp because you don't let him cry it out. In fact, quite the opposite. There is a lot of evidence that shows that babies who are treated with sensitivity are more secure as adults.

    There was something else I was reading today that cry-it-out causes the babies brain to be flooded with stress hormones (cortisol) which actually kills neurons.

    I don't know if your dh is the kind to read articles on parenting (mine isn't) but if he is, you can give him some info.

    http://www.attachmentparenting.org/principles/night.php

    is a good place to start.

    A very good article here:

    http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...-crying-it-out

    It sounds like in your situation I think it would help alot if you knew other families that parented the way you do. It would be good for your dh to talk to connect with other dads to hear about how the support their wives and babes at night and how they deal with interrupted sleep.
    Canadian mom and breastmilk fan.
    We have 2 beautiful children: Luana who's 9 y/o, had breastmilk for 2 years and is smart as a whip. Lucas who came out kickin', is 4 y/o and continues to enjoy his milkies.

  8. #8

    Default Re: trying to latch on to odd spots

    I have asked him many times to think about the advice he is getting from others they doing know our son most of them dont even have kids so have no room to speak on the subject to start with. That he can sit down and talk to me about how he feels and I will show him why I have made the choices I have made and why. He doesnt talk to his mom and dad about how our son is raised because they back my choices and point out I have raised one very well behaved child who is secure in her self that they have faith I will do the same for our son.I dont see why he gets so up set over our sons night feedings he sleeps right though them only once or twice has he woke up because our son was trully crying most times i wake when he starts to wiggle and fuss. I think I am just kinda feeling stuck in a spot because my husband wont really liston to what I have to say and wont read anything backing up my choices he is being well young and dumb at this point about the hole thing because he rather get his friends aprovel of how our son is raised over talk to his parents and wife who all have all ready raised kids unlike his friends. I have asked him to stop talking about how our son is raised that there advice is hurting us more then helping us because all it does is make us fight that if he came to me with something to back up his feelings and talked to me than it would be better than just saying my friends say my friends think since they also were the ones starting stuff before trying to cause us to brake up so he would go back to being in the bar all the time with them over be a family man .... I just need a way to try and get him to hear me out with out starting a fight because i want him to see the choices i have made i did alot of reading on that i didnt willy nilly make a choice I read pros and cons and all types of studys and made what i felt was the best choice when it comes to breastfeeding on demand how i deal with him crying and so much more I am happy to hear his latching on to anything he can when breast feeding is normal

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •