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Thread: 20mos. Twins, Nursing to Sleep. Tired/Frustrated Mommy

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    Default 20mos. Twins, Nursing to Sleep. Tired/Frustrated Mommy

    I'm looking for help with my twins' sleeping issues. Hopefully, this forum will lend some advice.

    20 month twins, who share full sized mattress on floor.
    Nursed to sleep for Naps and Bedtime.
    Wake up 1-4 times per night and nursed to sleep.
    Scream, kick etc. when denied in the middle of the night.

    I don't mind continue nursing. However, I am so over nursing back to sleep. Sleep Deprivation is non-stop.

    Dad is on board and will take my place at night during his upcoming vacation. Can you offer any advice on how to handle this transition?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
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    Default Re: 20mos. Twins, Nursing to Sleep. Tired/Frustrated Mommy

    Another momma on here gave me some good advice on it.. we used it and it worked. Let dad take over bedtime. There will be tears and it won't be easy, but they are ok!! For us... once that transition was made and DS was doing well with it, I started to talk to him about not nursing at night. I simply told him that mommy's milk was going night night too, and when he got up in the morning he could nurse. There were probably 3 nights of kicking and screaming. DH tried to comfort as well, but generally DS would only want me. We did this about 2 months ago now (DS was 22 months or so). Now, since DH takes him to bed, he tends to look for him to comfort at night, although we have had a night here and there where he cried to nurse. It's usually short lived and we are all back to sleep pretty quick.

    I did find that I could not take him to bed at all, he would nurse to sleep and then look for me in the night to nurse. It was all or nothing for us. It may not be so for you, but I would def. draw the lines so that they are not confused.

    Good luck!! It has made a huge difference in my sleeping patterns and DS actually enjoys going to bed with daddy these days!
    FT working momma to a 9/11/10 busy boy and 11/13/12 happy little man.
    Also wife to hubs since 8/23/08, bonus momma to H (girl) -99 and G (boy)-03

  3. #3
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    May 2011
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    Default Re: 20mos. Twins, Nursing to Sleep. Tired/Frustrated Mommy

    Thanks for your insight. Today's nap was rough! Please allow me to share with you as I really need guidance or at lease some support.

    12 noon was nap time. (about an hour earlier than normal because last night they didn't go to bed until 930. It took me 90 minutes last night to get them to sleep)

    They nursed for a while, maybe 15 minutes. But did not fall asleep. They started moving, jumping etc. After a while I left the room and the tears started. In 5-10 minute increments I would come back only to have to leave again because they refused to lay down. Every time the cries got bad, I would return. They'd yawn and I'd think they would finally put their head down, but no. Every time I came back it was like I gave them a boost of adrenaline. We did this dance until 3pm! 3 hours!

    It got to the point, that I felt like I was being stubborn. Though, they never asked to nurse, I knew surely at this time if I tried again they would fall asleep. Which they did. 5 mins of nursing and they are finally asleep.

    How else could this have been handled? What a rough afternoon we had!

  4. #4
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    Default Re: 20mos. Twins, Nursing to Sleep. Tired/Frustrated Mommy

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*5ofus View Post
    Another momma on here gave me some good advice on it.. we used it and it worked. Let dad take over bedtime. There will be tears and it won't be easy, but they are ok!! For us... once that transition was made and DS was doing well with it, I started to talk to him about not nursing at night. I simply told him that mommy's milk was going night night too, and when he got up in the morning he could nurse. There were probably 3 nights of kicking and screaming. DH tried to comfort as well, but generally DS would only want me. We did this about 2 months ago now (DS was 22 months or so). Now, since DH takes him to bed, he tends to look for him to comfort at night, although we have had a night here and there where he cried to nurse. It's usually short lived and we are all back to sleep pretty quick.

    I did find that I could not take him to bed at all, he would nurse to sleep and then look for me in the night to nurse. It was all or nothing for us. It may not be so for you, but I would def. draw the lines so that they are not confused.

    Good luck!! It has made a huge difference in my sleeping patterns and DS actually enjoys going to bed with daddy these days!
    Thanks! Am I reading this correct that you stopped nursing to sleep and then, stopped nursing in the middle of the night? I guess I was thinking we could stop nursing in the middle of the night first. Do you think that could work? Yeah for hubbies that will help in such an awesome way!

  5. #5
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    Default Re: 20mos. Twins, Nursing to Sleep. Tired/Frustrated Mommy

    If you thought that you could stop nursing in the middle of the night, why take away the nap nurse?

    Way too lazy for formula

  6. #6
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    Default Re: 20mos. Twins, Nursing to Sleep. Tired/Frustrated Mommy

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*djs.mom View Post
    If you thought that you could stop nursing in the middle of the night, why take away the nap nurse?
    hi, thanks for commenting. I might be just worn out from the afternoon, but I don't think I'm getting your comment. Does it mean, if I think I am able to stop middle of the night feedings only, why did I try to put them to nap without nursing a second time (earlier)? If so, yea, I don't know. Like I said, I finally had a realization that I was just being stubborn. Maybe this should be one of my take home points. If this isn't what you meant, would you kindly reiterate? Thanks!

  7. #7
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    Default Re: 20mos. Twins, Nursing to Sleep. Tired/Frustrated Mommy

    I mean if this was your bed time routine that you had been successfully practicing and today there was some backsliding then I would see (possibly) the three hours of trying not to. But if you have always nursed them down and had decided you were going to begin to try to drop the middle of the night session or the bedtime session with the help of your partner, it would seem like the nap time session would become more important to your children. And also based on your 1st post since I am all about eliminating the sessions that are making it hard for you to continue, it seems like the ones you want to get rid of are the multiple wakings in the middle of the night.
    So I don't really see today as anything other than confusing. And I think that in terms of night weaning, (which I fully support if it keeps you coming to the dance) I think it's important to wrap your mind around the fact that even if you stop nursing in the middle of the night, it doesn't mean your children won't wake in the middle of the night. Does that make sense? IT COULD mean that. But often times it doesn't.

    Way too lazy for formula

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