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Thread: Failure to Thrive....Failure as a mother?!?!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Elkhron, WI
    Posts
    2

    Default Failure to Thrive....Failure as a mother?!?!

    Hi there!

    My first post here & I'm reaching out for advice. My baby girl is 11 months old. She weighed 8 lbs 8 oz at birth. She now weighs 15lbs 6 oz. She has gained 14oz in 5 months. From the day she was born, she has screamed her head off. The ped has always told us it's just her temperament & she will either grow out of it or just be a high needs child. I've searched high and low, I've done massage, chiro, cut out dairy in my diet....still she screams. Finally at today's visit the dr realized that she has fallen off the bottom of the growth chart. going from 38th% for weight to 18th% for weight now 2% for weight. Her height went 72%, 49% now 21%. He has diagnosed her with failure to thrive. He did a cath and blood work and expects me to pump and feed her for 3 days so he KNOWS how much she's getting. I have bf all 3 of my kiddos and NEVER been able to pump worth a hoot. He's going to tell me that she's not getting enough, I know......She bf's on demand and I know she's getting enough as I can feel let down and tell that she's getting enough to fill her mouth and swallow. He says we need to stuff her with table foods, as well. She will eat more than our 4 year old will and he feels that we should let her eat as much as we do, if she wants....I'm venting and crying and searching for answers. I just don't know if there is something truly internally wrong with her or if it's just the fact that she REALLY HAS been hungry enough to scream for 11 months straight.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    6,564

    Default Re: Failure to Thrive....Failure as a mother?!?!

    I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time mama! Instead of pumping, can you rent a really sensitive scale and weigh-feed-weigh so you can tell the doctor how much she is taking in during nursing over a 3 day period?
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    6,467

    Default Re: Failure to Thrive....Failure as a mother?!?!

    also does she eat solids at all? Can you meet with a BF savvy nutritionist? I'm wondering if there is an absorption issue. The weigh feed weigh test over the course of 1-2 days would IMO be a better indicator of how much BM she is taking in and absorbing.
    Mommy to Maxwell 10-9-07 weaned with love (a party and a remote control monster truck) on his 4th birthday
    My Boy 3-16-10
    And my sweet pea Sam 2-12-11

    Watch Your Language

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Elkhron, WI
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: Failure to Thrive....Failure as a mother?!?!

    I've been doing more researching and through another mama who is going through this same thing she asked me if the weight loss started when the baby started solids...I never thought about it until this point and sure enough, looking at the growth chart her curve went down when the ped said to feed her solids...then with her next appt when he said to feed her more solids, this visit she had fallen off the bottom of the chart. after researching I'm realizing her poo is telling me something....that she's NOT PROCESSING the solids the way she should.....sweet potatoes in, sweet potatoes out....avocado in, avocado out....no change from what goes in/comes out. I will be looking for a new ped and a GI specialist at children's Milwaukee.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    350

    Default Re: Failure to Thrive....Failure as a mother?!?!

    This is just a psychological boost post, as the OPs have made good points.

    Being a mother is so much more than a breastfeeding/feeding relationship. Sure, it can be important, but love and actions are what's most important. You've been seeing a professional and doing your best every step of the way. That professional has failed you both and you're left picking up the pieces. Your advocacy for your child and insistence on protecting your LO make you one heck of an awesome mother!!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Victoria, BC, Canada
    Posts
    940

    Default Re: Failure to Thrive....Failure as a mother?!?!

    You're not a failure as a mother. Far from it! You are doing the best you can in a difficult situation, be proud of yourself. I'm sure you will figure things out and your daughter will gain more weight.
    Canadian mom and breastmilk fan.
    We have 2 beautiful children: Luana who's 9 y/o, had breastmilk for 2 years and is smart as a whip. Lucas who came out kickin', is 4 y/o and continues to enjoy his milkies.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    1,710

    Default Re: Failure to Thrive....Failure as a mother?!?!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*alphawoman View Post
    This is just a psychological boost post, as the OPs have made good points.

    Being a mother is so much more than a breastfeeding/feeding relationship. Sure, it can be important, but love and actions are what's most important. You've been seeing a professional and doing your best every step of the way. That professional has failed you both and you're left picking up the pieces. Your advocacy for your child and insistence on protecting your LO make you one heck of an awesome mother!!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    miles from nowhere
    Posts
    11,108

    Default Re: Failure to Thrive....Failure as a mother?!?!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*theolivers View Post
    after researching I'm realizing her poo is telling me something....that she's NOT PROCESSING the solids the way she should.....sweet potatoes in, sweet potatoes out....avocado in, avocado out....no change from what goes in/comes out. I will be looking for a new ped and a GI specialist at children's Milwaukee.
    This sounds like a great plan. I just wanted to ask you to elaborate on what her poo is telling you. My son had absorption issues and it cause very mucousy, constantly runny poops. Solids would come out in almost the same form they went in. Black coffee ground-like specks were the only consistent indication of internal bleeding.

    My son's issue (among many other things) was due (in part) to an inability to metabolize zinc. When the third GI we saw gave us a zinc supplement, my son's weight gain improved immediately. I'm not suggesting this is your child's problem (unless you are also dealing with erosive eczema), just throwing out that it could be something fairly easy to fix that is sometimes overlooked by doctors.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

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