Really bad nursing behaviour

[@llli*evolvingmama]

A few questions for you:
- What position(s) are you nursing in?
- Does nursing on one side seem to cause more biting than the other?
- You mention that biting has been going on since about 6 months, but has it gotten worse with the cold?

We nurse in a variety of positions: sitting on the bed, in the cradle position; standing/walking/swaying in the cradle hold; side lying; me on my back and him kind of over me; him laying on his back, propped on a pillow and/or my arm, with me leaning over...he'll do a little nursing sitting up, but not much (as in just a few sucks and he's done).

It's hard to say about the sides...today, he was biting equally on both sides. In the past, I think he may have bitten more on the right (which tends to be the breast with a larger supply, stronger letdown). But, I think it has been pretty equal between sides.

Over the past 6 months, the biting has been sporadic. It's been pretty consistently because he is playing (why he thinks this is a game, I don't know--I've never encouraged it or responded in any way other than saying no, or yelping in pain--I've never given a joke-y response, not once) or because he is done (or, I think he is done). He hadn't been biting for most of the cold and actually now seems to really be over the congestion. But, now he is biting a LOT. Every nursing session, both sides, at the start of the session, in the middle, all the time. Sometimes it's a nip on the tip of the nipple (this kind of biting has, historically, been "play;" sometimes, it's a full on bite on the whole thing. He's doing even in when he is nursing to sleep, which he has NEVER done before. He also seems to be scraping his teeth when he is latching on, which is also new (but, this doesn't hurt).

I will try to give him something cool before nursing to see if that helps. And, yes, he does let me hold his hand, sometimes. I can do that for some feeds but not for the ones where I am walking him to sleep. Maybe I'll give a lovey a try again--in the past that's kind of wound him up (he doesn't calm down enough to go to sleep), but actually, I think I'd rather get the nursing in bite/twiddle-free and then walk him to sleep sans nursing than nurse him straight to sleep with bites and twiddles. I've been reluctant to do this because he and I really struggle with getting him to sleep without nursing (he can get to sleep fine with my husband without milk but not me). I think he is so used to nursing to sleep with me that he just has a serious association that is hard to circumvent but we can work on that too.

[@llli*auderey]

it sounds like you're in a better place about this this afternoon, which i'm glad for. of course, as you say, no other options right now! but i do think tackling one issue at a time is going to help give you some sanity.

have you tried tylenol? for my DS teething pain was bad and sporadic and lasted forever.

on a side note - my DH would not have survived that attitude ...

[@llli*evolvingmama]

it sounds like you're in a better place about this this afternoon, which i'm glad for. of course, as you say, no other options right now! but i do think tackling one issue at a time is going to help give you some sanity.

have you tried tylenol? for my DS teething pain was bad and sporadic and lasted forever.

on a side note - my DH would not have survived that attitude ...

HA! well, DH is a pretty stubborn fellow and I am too tired to fight about it with him.

It's night time here (nearly 11pm)....got out for a couple of hours this evening, on my own, which was nice. A little walk in the cool air, a little breathing room, a little time away....does wonders, you know?!

Feeling apprehensive about tomorrow's feeds, TBH, but am feeling encouraged by the support and ideas here...am going to try tylenol, a cool teether, some skin to skin, hand holding, a lovey, some different positions, and see what happens.

how long can you give tylenol?

may give the gp a call again on monday, if things don't improve tomorrow....just to check his ears again.

[@llli*auderey]

i'm not sure how long you can give tylenol, and i don't give it often, but i think sometimes we need a tradeoff: if a dose calms baby, even if pain wasn't the problem, and allows us sanity and the ability to continue nursing the next day - well, it's probably worth it.

[@llli*mommal]

he isn't a middle of the night guy. The few times I have been able to get him to help middle of the night, he's been "so tired" the next day, he slept until noon (if he wasn't working) or went to bed as soon as he got home (if he was working)

Oh, you're married to that guy, too?

I can go for months and years with broken sleep, but get my DH up once in the middle of the night and he'll throw himself a 3 day long pity party.

[@llli*pizanite]

Oh, you're married to that guy, too?

I can go for months and years with broken sleep, but get my DH up once in the middle of the night and he'll throw himself a 3 day long pity party.

I never stop hearing about it if DH gets up.

[@llli*alphawoman]

He's doing even in when he is nursing to sleep, which he has NEVER done before. He also seems to be scraping his teeth when he is latching on, which is also new (but, this doesn't hurt).

These points make me think teething may be aggravating an old tendency to nip. My son has been doing that awful shallow, scraping latch that comes with teething for us. I feel for you...blasted molars!! If the biting ever seems to be aggravated on one side, I found side lying nursing and offering from the top and bottom breasts on the unaffected side has saved sleep.

I hope collectively we've found something that works for you! And, for the record, you'll never get any shame from me on nursing to sleep if that's what you prefer. It is a HUGE sanity saver in my house.

[@llli*auderey]

My son has been doing that awful shallow, scraping latch that comes with teething for us. I feel for you...blasted molars!!

OOHHHHHHHHH. is THAT was my DS has been doing? it was awful. i think the molars are all in now, finally. of course i thought that two weeks ago, too.

[@llli*evolvingmama]

So...things aren't going so well today. I decided to heed the advice to focus on one thing at a time, and decided to start with biting. He has bitten me every single time I have put him to the breast today, almost as soon as I put him on. He latches, sucks once, maybe twice, then bites. I calmly but firmly say, "no biting; that hurts mama." Then, calmly put him down and do something else. I know he is hungry because he is fussing. Ten minutes later, I'll put him back on. Same thing. So, today, he has not nursed at all. I've pumped to keep supply up and have offered the milk in a cup and a bottle. He took 50 mls from the bottle. That's it -- in about 7 hours. He did eat some solids for lunch. His diapers aren't wet. He did eat overnight, but only once and right before waking (that's normal for us on a day when he eats normally). I managed to get a very short session in as he was waking from his morning nap.

I have given him something to chew on while we are feeding, a cold teething toy before, and gave him tylenol about 30 minutes before nursing. I've tried nursing skin to skin, in several different positions, and in a very calm, dark quiet room. Nothing has helped. I also hand expressed to get some milk on the nipple and stimulate let down before he latched on.

I know he isn't weaning, because he isn't a year yet. Also, when he sees my breasts, he gets very excited and crawls right over (latched on and then bites!).

Please help. I don't know what to do. Even more than I want to continue breastfeeding, I want him to eat!

I have to be at work the next three days and then we are on vacation (with the baby, of course) for a week, so I'm not sure how I am going to give this really focused attention, other than in the mornings and evenings the next couple of days (a nursing vacation isn't possible for us right now).

What do I do???

[@llli*alphawoman]

It's probably time to call in the experts. Dr. Jack Newman answers queries by e-mail to help clients with breast feeding issues. It's Thanksgiving today in Canada and tomorrow is a statutory, so his response may be a bit slower than normal. That said, he replied to a message I sent him within 2 hours with detailed, helpful info. He is by far the best resource I can think of.

The link to send him an e-mail is midway down the page I've attached below. Keep your message as brief as possible- it'll increase your chance of a quick response.

http://www.nbci.ca/index.php?option=...d=62&Itemid=33

I'm sorry you're having to work out these difficulties, but I'm optimistic that Dr. Newman has seen this many times before and has a good protocol to recommend.