I'm at a tough spot in my nursing relationship with D. It has been escalating for some time. He just turned 2 and is a violent nurser. He has never had a great latch but now it is downright painful. Every nursing session lasts a minimum of 45 minutes. I try to end before he is ready and he throws a fit, hitting me, pinching me, thrashing around. While he is nursing he is kicking me, putting his fingers in my mouth or his whole hand over it and clamping on my nipple. I know that I barely have any milk left, which also makes it worse because the dry, pacifier like sucking leaves my breasts in pain for hours after. Not to mention how agitated he gets about it.
But....I don't have the heart to wean him because I just went back to work in June and he's suddenly in full time daycare. He only nurses twice a day during the week - and all night about 75% of the time - and maybe 4 times on the weekend. But I still feel like I spend 3-4 hours a day nursing. I have horrible feelings while he's nursing most of the time and sometimes just want to throw him off my body. He acts like he owns my body, tearing at my shirt or grabbing onto my breasts roughly if I'm not sitting and ready when he wants to nurse. He doesn't even want MK touching me, that immediately gets him on me and hitting her while trying to rake at my body.
He's a passionate kid, so I have had no luck with gently talking to him or trying to set boundaries. I don't want to wean, I just want it to be a nice peaceful activity that we share. Has anyone else been through this? Can it get better without weaning? He has some sensory issues, doesn't have a lot of language yet and very quickly goes into fight or flight.
If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. - Katharine Hepburn