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Thread: Feeling overwhelmed. lots of questions. LONG, SORRY

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
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    Default Feeling overwhelmed. lots of questions. LONG, SORRY

    I had a hard time last week with Mastitis. I think I have fully recovered at this point.. my supply dropped alot over the last week. My LO is also teething. she is 17 weeks old and her weight gain seems to be fine last time we went to the doctors. she doesn't got back for a weight check until oct. 22. She has been very fussy nursing. I know she likes the cold bottle because it's soothing. or she wants to latch on and stay there the other night she stayed latched on for 2+ hours. We ended up getting baby orajel. my husband found one with the least amount of numbing agent. I used it yesterday and she finally slept comfortably! ANY SUGGESTIONS ON WHAT I CAN DO TO HELP HER BE MORE COMFORTABLE NURSING WHILE TEETHING? we can see 2 pearly whites under her bottom gum.
    my LO has been eating on demand. she has bottles while i'm away at work, i usually make them 4oz. sometimes she will eat the full bottles. other times she just snacks. maybe 1/2 the bottle and falls asleep. when we nurse, it's usually every 2-3 hours. before Mastitis, she would nurse one side at a time. now she nurses both sides for approx 4-6 mins on each side. IS THIS NORMAL FOR THIS AGE TO BE NURSING SO OFTEN? SHOULD HER BOTTLES BE BIGGER? I met my girlfriends son yesterday, he is 1 month old and formula fed. he is taking a 4oz bottle. she was baffled that my LO only eats a 4oz bottle.
    WHAT SHOULD A BREAST FED BABY BE SLEEPING AT NIGHT? I get all the questions about why my LO isn't sleeping through the night. She nurses @730-8pm goes down to bed.. Usually till 12am - nurses on oneside.. back in the crib. wakes around 2-3am nurses on oneside.. stays in bed with mom. wakes around 6-7am. I usually wait till 8-830am to feed her. and then she goes down for a nap. Does this sound like a good routine? or should I be pushing her farther inbetween feedings?
    This week we introduced Oat cereal. I make it myself with my baby bullet. My LO eats with us at dinner. she has been taking about 10 baby spoonfuls(I make it almost soupy).. I know she is getting some down because the consistency of her diapers has changed a bit. she doesn't seem to have any problem with it. My mother-in-law keeps pushing the cereal issue. she says LO needs something in her tummy to help her sleep. I do not feel in the last 4 days that she has had it, that she has slept more than she did before? I feel like no one around me understands that I am giving her what she needs. I'm having a hard time coping with others comments. i have consistenly thought about giving up this past week. which the mastitis didn't help with any! I need some support. I love this website. this is my first time posting in a very long time. Looking foward to hearing from anyone.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
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    Maryland
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    142

    Default Re: Feeling overwhelmed. lots of questions. LONG, SORRY

    I'm not sure why so many people make a big deal out of babies sleeping through the night. It's not necessarily biologically normal Plus, babies who are breastfed often are more likely to have night wakings - breastmilk digests quickly so they're more likely to actually get hungry during the night.

    If it makes you feel any better, my guy is 9 months and on a normal/good night wakes around 2 and 4:30 to nurse. I consider him a very good sleeper

    In any case, feeding more won't necessarily lead to sleeping more. And if her night waking doesn't bother you, don't let people push their theories on you. The best way to handle this is, IMO, to answer any questions about how she's sleeping with "she sleeps great"

    It sounds to me like your baby is totally normal and you are handling this in a way that works for you and your family

    I wouldn't make her bottles any bigger, but sounds to me like her nursing is normal too. It's also possible the mastitis hit your supply a little bit so she's nursing longer to make up for that or get you going again. Also she's growing or teething and is looking for more comfort at the breast.

  3. #3
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    Jun 2012
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    Default Re: Feeling overwhelmed. lots of questions. LONG, SORRY

    thank you so much. any support is greatly appreciated!

  4. #4
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    May 2006
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    20,653

    Default Re: Feeling overwhelmed. lots of questions. LONG, SORRY

    with the PP. Why do people make such a big issue out of sleep? Do they not know that it's NORMAL for babies to wake at night? And why do they think it's their business to give a nursing mom unsolicited advice on how to feed her child? That's like someone giving you advice on how to breathe. No-one knows more about doing it than the one who is doing it!

    So I'd feel very free to give the advice-givers in your life a polite smile and a "You know, if I am really interested in your opinion, I will be sure to ask for it."

    FTR, both my kid's woke and nursed at night until age 2. I figured that it was no-one's business but mine. As long as I was okay with it, why was anyone else concerned?

    It's 100% normal for breastfed babies to nurse very frequently throughout the first year and into the second. For many babies, this means 10-12 nursing sessions per day, or even more. Frequent nursing is not a sign that your child needs bigger bottles: many breastfed babies take only 2-4 oz bottles throughout the entirety of their first year. Formula-fed babies, on the other hand, tend to take larger and larger bottles as time goes on, and you will see older ones sucking down 6-8 oz at a time. So don't base your ideas of what should be in a bottle based on what a formula-fed baby is drinking!
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  5. #5

    Default Re: Feeling overwhelmed. lots of questions. LONG, SORRY

    So don't base your ideas of what should be in a bottle based on what a formula-fed baby is drinking!
    i'll take it a step further and say don't base anything your baby does on what a formula fed baby does. (actually best to never compare babies too much at all-babies are unique individuals just as older children and adults are. Do you have the exact same sleep and eating habits as your friend?) but you are going to find more similarities in eating and needs and behavior with other breastfed babies, and those behaviors etc of the breastfed babies are the biological norm, even though statisticaly in some of the world, fornula feeding is the societal norm.

    This week we introduced Oat cereal. I make it myself with my baby bullet. My LO eats with us at dinner. she has been taking about 10 baby spoonfuls(I make it almost soupy).. I know she is getting some down because the consistency of her diapers has changed a bit. she doesn't seem to have any problem with it. My mother-in-law keeps pushing the cereal issue. she says LO needs something in her tummy to help her sleep. I do not feel in the last 4 days that she has had it, that she has slept more than she did before?
    isn't your baby less than 5 months old? The AAP suggests no solids until baby is 6 months old. (solids meaning anything besides breastmilk even if it is not actually solid.) A more individual way to look at it-when baby is ready on the outside, baby is probably ready on the inside. when baby is spoon fed highly pureed or liquified foods baby's natural tongue thrust defense may be getting bypassed. unless baby is picking the food up with her hand, and putting it into her mouth and easily swallowing, she is probaby not ready. so, if cerial needs to be almost soupy for your baby to maybe get some 'into her' and more is on you, the highchair, or in babies hair then in baby, baby is not ready! also too early or too quick solid introduction may adversely affect milk supply.

    there is no truth to the idea that early foods increase sleep. its been studied.

    Like most moms, your instincts sound right on, but you are perhaps getting led away from that by the cultural noise and well meaning but misinformed friends and family. you need backup! i suggest-find some breastfeeding mommas somewhere and hang out with them. Also get and read the 8th edition of The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding.

    this website has good scientific info on normal infant sleep. http://www.isisonline.org.uk/
    Last edited by @llli*lllmeg; October 2nd, 2012 at 11:15 AM.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
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    159

    Default Re: Feeling overwhelmed. lots of questions. LONG, SORRY

    My baby is 4.5 mo (probably around the same age as your LO), and she's been waking up every 2-3 hours at night, around 1, then around 3 and finally around 6 when I am getting ready to go to work. Sometimes is just twice, but that hasn't happened for the past week or so.

    I noticed she's starting to roll over, so I think that's why she is waking up more frequently this past days.

    I've had the same issue with my MIL. And that actually hurt my supply when my baby was a newborn and I had to seek help to build it up again. So DO NOT LISTEN to them, you know what is best for your baby, and I know you know because you chose to breasfeed!! (and specially, don't listen to them if they never breasfed either, which was the case of my MIL!!)

    I thought about starting cereal too, but just for texture introduction, not to actually feed my LO. So maybe a couple of spoons? Haven't even started yet though, and I'm not in a hurry.

    Don't give up!!!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
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    Default Re: Feeling overwhelmed. lots of questions. LONG, SORRY

    thanks everyone. I feel so good to have such great support. I started the cereal partly because my MIL effects my husband.. and partly because LO was soo interested in what we are eating. she stares at us like we are gods when we are eating.. lol... I'm happy to know that other breast fed babies have similiar sleeping patterns. I feel that I get plenty of sleep, so it nevered bothered me. do any of you find that your LO is so attached they don't want to be with anyone else. i didnt know if this was a common behavior of a breastfed baby. my LO last 10 mins with anyone but myself or Dad. everyone tells me she is spoiled and I don't bring her around other people enough

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Brazil
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    Default Re: Feeling overwhelmed. lots of questions. LONG, SORRY

    Regarding your lo interest in your food, I think this sounds like normal baby curiosity about the world and especially what you as mom and dad are doing and not necessarily the specific idea that lo wants to eat. Like pp said, aap and who recommend exclusive bf until 6 months and then after that I would wait until lo starts reaching for food. You may want to look into baby lead solids which there is a lot of info on this board about, but I wouldn't worry too much until 6 months. My big suggestion is do some research so ask when people ask you or give opinions about bf our food, you have something to back your self up with.

    And about attachment, this is perfectly normal behavior. No your lo isn't/can't be spoiled yet. She is so young still and you and dad are all she knows! Maybe others have some advice on what to respond to this comment. I like the "lo its teething" excuse.

    Anyway, you are doing a great job momma, keep up the good work!
    I'm Elizabeth, first time mom to Sofia Kerala, born Jan. 6, 2012 at home.

    We are happily , , , and .

    I'm an international teacher-librarian , currently working in Brazil.

  9. #9
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    Sep 2012
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    rockford,il
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    Default Re: Feeling overwhelmed. lots of questions. LONG, SORRY

    My ds hit a bad patch of stranger anxiety around that age too. developmentally normal. I received tons of criticism bc of it as well. Dh's grandmother was the worst. First time she met him was at a crowded, noisy restaurant. She could not understand why he started bawling when she immediately yanked him out of my arms. Apparently babies are things that shouldn't have emotions like fear. She told us a dozen times in an hour he was spoiled. Same restaurant five months later and she was full of praise, how good of a mom I am, and how happy and social zayne is. Anyway point is, its a phase. And no matter what you do someone is going to be negative about your parenting choices. Do what feels right to you. Hopefully they'll eventually realize you're a good mom

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
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    344

    Default Re: Feeling overwhelmed. lots of questions. LONG, SORRY

    My son is now 11 months old and a total extrovert. His separation anxiety peaked around 5-7 months. We nurse 10+x/day and wake 3-6x/night. By my experience, your LO is right on target!

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