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Thread: Giving up

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    12

    Default Giving up

    Here's a long story short. My daughter had severe latching issues, and I have been EP'ing. In the hospital I seen 2 lactation consultants. The first literally never even came closer than the end of our bed, and basically just said she didn't know what to do, and gave us a video to watch. The second one we seen tried to latch her once, then just brought me a breast pump. So I started EP'ing.. I tried for 2 weeks to get her to latch after we left the hospital, and it never happened(she is 9 weeks now), until today. Today DD finally latched, and nursed for about 20 minutes, it was magical. So I tried the rest of the day, she never latched again. Every time I put her to the breast, she screams and flails her arms/legs.

    I feel worse than I did before. I felt like a failure to begin with, then I got a small
    glimmer of hope today, only to have my hopes again kicked to the dust.
    Last edited by @llli*camrynsmom; September 26th, 2012 at 06:03 PM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    1,293

    Default Re: Giving up

    oh mama, you are doing it! she latched and that is awesome. she's been taking bottles for a bit and they are easier, so for her to latch today is so great.

    try not to get discouraged. lactations consultants in hospitals are not always the best. i had negative experiences with them with both my children. i actually told the second one to "please leave me alone!"

    you may want to see a IBCLC, they are generally very good LCs and will give you hands on help.

    i am going to give you some links that hopefully will help. try to stay positive and calm. she will get it. she is so young still and she has some learning to do. she is probably frustrated with not getting the fast flow of the bottle, but that does not mean she will not get it soon enough.

    Basic Latch info

    http://getting baby back to the breast/

    remember the feeling you had when she latched when you get upset, it truly is something to be proud of mama.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    21,139

    Default Re: Giving up

    with the PP. I am sorry you've had such a frustrating experience so far. Hopefully a better LC could help you- hospital LCs are often nurses who have only taken a very short course in breastfeeding, whereas IBCLCs are specialists who have done extended study.

    Definitely check out the link in the PP's post. The instant reward and skin-to-skin techniques mentioned in that link are supposed to be very helpful. In addition, you may want to try making bottle-feeding as much like breastfeeding as possible, so that baby doesn't think of breastfeeding as something new and weird. First, open your shirt and cuddle baby close to your bare chest. Tickle her lips with the bottle nipple until she opens wide- that way she won't learn sloppy latch skills from having a bottle slipped into a half-open mouth. Pause the feeding after about an oz of milk, and then resume after switching baby so that she is lying the other way.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    54

    Default Re: Giving up

    You can do it. I had similar experiences with consultants and was Eping. My LO didn't actually EBF until he was about 7 wks. Lots of skin to skin. I gradually introduced breastfeeding again. At first i only tried it a couple of times a day. Like you said, he was fighting it and my nipples were so sore I needed a break. Eventually we had more nursing sessions than bottle feedings and eventually no bottle. I truly believe all the skin to skin time we did saved us. I saw 3 LCs before I found an IBCLC. She was the best and the last b/c she was so great. Don't give up yet.

    If you do have to quit for your own sanity. Know that you did your best and your LO got the best nutrition possible during that time. Good Luck!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Victoria, BC, Canada
    Posts
    940

    Default Re: Giving up

    You're doing a wonderful thing by pumping, every gift of breastmilk you can give your baby counts. Be proud of yourself for persisting!

    A non-latching baby can be really upsetting. DD was like this and never did latch-not even once! so I pumped the time which was *alot* of work. It's so much nicer to be able to nurse a baby.

    You did 20 minutes today, this is great news! It means you and your baby can do it. Its' OK to take a step back and just decide to pump for a while or for a long time, if you want. Just try to keep sane, OK and go easy on yourself, you are doing your best in a very difficult situation.

    Here are some things for you to try. Basically, babies know how to latch and can do so with a small amoutn of assistance. This takes the pressure off of you. Also, when they latch themselves, the latch is likely to be better.

    Maybe try working through the links and see if there's anything you'd like to try.

    If you can watch just 1, I would suggest this one!

    http://www.biologicalnurturing.com/video/bn3clip.html

    Be kind on yourself and your baby and try to just take it 1 day at a time. You can do it!

    BABY-LED MOTHER-GUIDED LATCH

    http://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bfinfo/bla.html (step-by-step with photos)
    http://www.nbci.ca/index.php?option=...id=6&Itemid=13 (Dr Newman’s site: videos)
    http://www.ameda.com/community/videos.aspx (video)
    http://www.ameda.com/resources/video (Your baby knows how to latch)
    http://breastcrawl.org/ (video of baby self-latching after birth)
    http://www.biologicalnurturing.com/video/bn3clip.html (Nice video clip of laid back breastfeeding)
    Last edited by @llli*monika.h; September 27th, 2012 at 12:25 AM.
    Canadian mom and breastmilk fan.
    We have 2 beautiful children: Luana who's 9 y/o, had breastmilk for 2 years and is smart as a whip. Lucas who came out kickin', is 4 y/o and continues to enjoy his milkies.

  6. #6

    Default Re: Giving up

    I was having latching issues and our LC recommended a SNS system with a nipple sheild which worked really well. He got the expressed milk from the bottle but he took it at the breast. Since we were using the nipple shield the nipple was a little more lke a bottle so that may be good for your LO. Also he didn't have to work as hard with he SNS so that was a bit more bottle-like as well. Once he finished all of the expressed milk we would leave him at the breast so that he could nurse on his own with the. Ipplehow shield.
    Once he got used to that it was easier to get him to transition to the breast. First we took away the SNS system and then later took away the nipple shield. This system also helped stimulate my nipples to keep my supply up.
    Don't know if this will work for you but it did work really well for us.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    12

    Default Re: Giving up

    Camryn hated the nipple shield. She would latch for about 2 minutes then start screaming and refuse to re-latch. My husband is trying hard to talk me out of continuing. He see's how much it's stressing me out, and making my PPD worse. I completely feel like there is nothing more I can do.

    Pumping is taking away time from my daughter. Since I work full time, I hate spending what precious time I have with her stuck pumping.

    I'm at a lost, and really think I'm out of hope. We tried a few times again today, with no luck.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    1,293

    Default Re: Giving up

    eping is very hard work. that is why it is exciting that you are trying to get her to nurse and that she did latch already. its a process that takes awhile.

    are you getting any help for your PPD?

    if nursing her is something you really do want, the first thing i would do is tell your dh that. tell him how much his support means to you.

    try to take it one step at a time if you choose to continue. have you tried in the bath and other techniques mentioned in the back to the breast link above. it takes time mama, try not to be hard on yourself

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    12

    Default Re: Giving up

    I've tried all the positions, laying in the bath, and directly after a shower.

    DH knows how badly I want this, but since his ex wife never wanted and didn't breastfeed their two boys, he doesn't see why it bothers me to stop. He supports me, but i know it's killing him watching me like this.

    I have had depression and have been on meds since I was 16. When I got pregnant I had to stop taking my medications because they are not pregnancy/BF approved. When I got PPD, they started me on a different type. The one's I'm on currently, don't work that great. I still cry about 40% of the day, and only leave my house when I go to work. I only eat once a day usually, and that's forcing myself to eat some oatmeal becuase I heard it is good for milk supply. I just don't have an appetite.

    I just don't know what to do anymore...

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    1,293

    Default Re: Giving up

    i am sorry you are suffering right now. it sounds to me that it would be best to talk to your dr about how you feel and that you dont think the meds are working the way they should.

    i would also recommend starting a thread here about you PPD, there are many moms who have been through PPD and can offer support,

    i cant tell you what is best for you to do. you need to decide what you need/want. while this bf experience may not be what you envisioned, you have been successful!! you have given your baby something amazing! its something to be proud of, even if you dont feel that way right now.

    here is a link to a collection of stories by moms with ppd. maybe something there may help.

    again, i would start a thread just about the ppd so you get some more feedback.

    thinking of you.

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