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Thread: cold turkey??? 19 months

  1. #1
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    Default cold turkey??? 19 months

    Hi girls,
    I apologize ahead of time if this has been constantly answered, i'm sitting here at almost 1 in the morning and going frantic!! Due to constant reflux issues, etc... my son has NEVER slept through the night....NEVER, NOT ONCE ...The doctors and I mean all of them ( gastro, neuro, developmental, peds) all agreed that we think we will be much better off weening. I hope you guys understand this is something we WANT to do.

    He literally wakes up every 2-3 hours a night to nurse, and were thinking to do this cold turkey. This is our first night and right now i'm about to pull my hair out because he's consantly screaming!! It will be an hour of screaming here shortly. Any advice? any ideas? any tips to get me through this?
    BTW, he's almost 20 months old.

    thank you!!!!

    Ann

  2. #2
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    Default Re: cold turkey??? 19 months

    Why do they think weaning will help? I don't have the heart to wean my son. He's 2 and I'm mentally over nursing, but it means too much to him at this point. And doesn't matter that I have no supply. If he's screaming, he needs something. Even if it's just comfort. If nursing does that, how can I deny him?
    If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. - Katharine Hepburn

  3. #3
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    Default Re: cold turkey??? 19 months

    ok, yes I understand that, but it's not just the doctors, WE as parents feel that it's time. I can't function as a mother to our other child, our son (the one that we are going to try to ween) has other issues-- not eating well/picky eater because of breast feeding, so when I'm asking help it's a different situation than yours, I was asking for help with my situation, and people who have been there.

    p.s. this goes to anyone who comments on these posts; I appreciate it if you guys can save the guilt trip; I've nursed my son for 19 months, in my mind that's quite an accomplishment. The weening is for his benefit as
    well as our entire family. I'm not going to go completely into all his health concerns, but, truly it's beneficial to him. Again, I really need support, I'm not trying to be RUDE, really and truly.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: cold turkey??? 19 months

    My son is the same age. Put yourself in his shoes, weaning cold turkey is extremely jolting and upsetting, obviously. My older son never STTN until well after 2 and my 19 month son hasn't either, children sleep through the night when they are developmentally ready and not a night before no matter what you do.

    My question is the same as Kim. Why would weaning help? My DS2 had severe reflux as well, to the point of a suspected stynois and weaning was never brought up so I'm curious...is it just eating at night they want to avoid? I'm so sorry your baby is dealing with this I can only imagine how hard iit is, to baby. I understand that YOU want this but your baby doesn't.
    Last edited by @llli*jenna562; September 23rd, 2012 at 06:31 AM.
    Mommy to Maxwell 10-9-07 weaned with love (a party and a remote control monster truck) on his 4th birthday
    My Boy 3-16-10
    And my sweet pea Sam 2-12-11

    Watch Your Language

  5. #5
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    Default Re: cold turkey??? 19 months

    Ok I just saw your comment, so are you wanting to wean because of reflux or because you feel it's time? Would you consider weaning over a period of time, like 2 months? If so I think it would be slightly better. What you could do then is to use Dr. Gordon's night weaning method BBL with link....

    Eta here it is

    http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

    Ok you can night wean baby more slowly, then when that's over you can drop one session during the day until he's used to it, then another, etc etc....how about that plan?


    I am sure you think we are being rude, but consider your audience mama, most of us are horrified with cold turkey weaning other than like a severe medical issue with mom or baby. Regardless I think weaning slowly would be better for baby and you
    Last edited by @llli*jenna562; September 23rd, 2012 at 06:30 AM.
    Mommy to Maxwell 10-9-07 weaned with love (a party and a remote control monster truck) on his 4th birthday
    My Boy 3-16-10
    And my sweet pea Sam 2-12-11

    Watch Your Language

  6. #6
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    Default Re: cold turkey??? 19 months

    without trying to put EVERYTHING out there, it's not because of the reflux... he has problems eating/picky eater bc he's so full from breastfeeding; to the point where our occupational
    therapist recommends it as well. She believes he will improve speech and eating if we ween.

    AGAIN, PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THIS AS A RUDE COMMENT.... but seriously, i just want HELP, not GUILT for weening my son!!

    PP are m aking me feel like I'm being selfish, which is NOT the case!! I wanted to ween months ago, but I didn't for my son.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: cold turkey??? 19 months

    Well I gave you my advice above.

    Good job hanging in there for 19 months that's a real gift.

    Here are some interesting studies on the effects of BF on speech development just as an aside, I find your case interesting I will say just because of the advise that's so different that what is normally thought, please understand that I'm not questioning, I definitely believe this is what you are being told...mearly my own curiosity mama.

    http://kellymom.com/bf/normal/speech-development/
    Last edited by @llli*jenna562; September 23rd, 2012 at 06:39 AM.
    Mommy to Maxwell 10-9-07 weaned with love (a party and a remote control monster truck) on his 4th birthday
    My Boy 3-16-10
    And my sweet pea Sam 2-12-11

    Watch Your Language

  8. #8
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    Default Re: cold turkey??? 19 months

    The advice is cold turkey is cruel for a child that finds comfort in it. If you want to wean, the gentle and living approach would be by dropping sessions. Start with an easy one, like in the middle of the day. Set limits with say nursing for 10 minutes only. To night wean you can't be there. Whether you want to hear it or not, it's cruel to wean cold turkey and then still be the comfort for your son. He doesn't understand that you feel 19 months is enough and a huge accomplishment in and of itself. All he knows is he wants it when he wakes in the middle of the night. So your husband will have to go to him and I'm sure there will be tears. Find something else to comfort him. A special blanket, a cup of warm milk or water. A pacifier. For me, I would make the night nursing session the last to cut. And give yourself a schedule for it. Say a 2-3 week time period and stick to it.

    By the way, no one is trying to guilt you. If you are feeling guilty it's because your heart is telling you something is bothering you. The other thing to consider us that a picky eater gets so many benefits from extended breastfeeding by the extra calories and nutrition they are missing from the foods they will not eat. My daughter hasn't nursed in 5 years and she eats almost nothing. Weaning her didn't help at all. That's not guilt, it's a fact. If you want to wean that's your business and a valid reason. But if you present inaccurate medical facts to lactivists we can't help ourselves but to share our own knowledge. Yes, 19 months is a great accomplishment, especially these days. But please consider the emotional impact to your son and do it as gently as possible. It can be done in a way that the child isn't traumatized.
    If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. - Katharine Hepburn

  9. #9
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    Default Re: cold turkey??? 19 months

    I get what you guys are saying.. and I think it's the right way (yours) because he's so miserable.. I HATE hearing him scream!! Is there a way to night ween?? Like I said he does wake up every 1-3 hours wanting to nurse, how do you slowly ween him off that??

    poor little guy I feel so bad, and so completely strung out over this. I want love and kiss on him all day.

    btw, we DID make it through night 1, he ended up sleeping for 5 hours consistently after the tantrum, but since I hear the magic word is 3 days, should we continue or should we just start to ease into it?

  10. #10
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    Default Re: cold turkey??? 19 months

    the BIGGEST thing I didn't want to do is traumatize him. It's so sad to see him like this, and I'm really lost. Now, really, I wonder why some people go cold turkey? INSTINT tells me it has to be gradual. It's hurting me, and I know it's hurting him.

    Also, dh brought up a good point, I have to note that my son only nurses at night, so should we just limit the night feedings?

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