Re: Working, BFing and multiple young kids?
I had this huge post typed out to you yesterday and I lost it.
I think that if you are both working more than full time, that is going to be hard on a child/children regardless if you have more or just the one you have. But that is a decision for you to make and I feel that it is separate from the maternal age issue. Just because someone you met was able to conceive (at all!) at the age of 43 does not mean that YOU will be able to. I have several friends who thought they would be able to conceive at age 40 and it just didn't work out. They either go the in-vitro route with donor eggs or don't have more children. I think that is more common than the 43 year old that conceives in 3 months. I'm not trying to be negative or critical, but our eggs start to deteriorate in our 30s.
I got pregnant with Beatrix when Lilah was around 18 months old and Beatrix was born when Lilah was almost 27 months old. They were born when I was almost 33 and just over 35. I work 36 hours a week in an intellectually demanding career and my husband works 40ish hours a week. We've decided to sacrifice the little bit of money that we would have by me working full time so that our family can function a little better. I wanted to have time with them when they were babies. I will be dropping down to 30 or 32 hours a week in the next year or so, probably. This would have been the same for us with one child or two. Adding the second child was really not that hard. Your life goes through a roller coaster when you have that first child. When you have the second child, there is already a mother and father in the house. You know how to take care of children and the second one can fold into the lifestyle you have with the first one. I think you said you have a nanny - so there will not be the hassle of taking both kids somewhere. One thing that has really helped us have balance is having someone clean our house every two weeks. I think a third kid would fold in just as easily, but we want to pay for college and we can only do that for two.
Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months