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Thread: Argh why is this so frustrating?

  1. #1
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    Default Argh why is this so frustrating?

    Here I am again. Tomorrow my DD is 10 wks. I'll begin by saying she is sup healthy at 10.4 lbs (born at 5#13oz and dropped to 5#6oz in week 2 before weight started to climb). Lots of diapers, a rare green poop, otherwise normal yellow/brown and lots of pee. I feel like a nursing superhero with that weight gain. Very proud. I'm back at work in a week and a half and my worries are back as she's really no less fussy, even worse maybe than 2 weeks ago. Nursing can be anything from smooth sailing to a battle of head twisting, unlatching 100 times, scratching, kicking, crying, arching, kicking, trying to stand if her feet can make contact. I know all this can cause air intake, which can create a vicious cycle if there's a gas/reflux issue

    But the question is why the fuss? Gas? Reflux? OALD? Flow just fast due to normal cycle of let down? Flow frustratingly slow/too much work? Congestion annoyance? Frustration at difference between breast and bottle (we still only do occasional bottle in prep for when I'm at work. This will increase, more on that below). Growth spurt? How the heck do you ever really know? If the crying goes to screeching that's the only time I'm sure of something: pain and that's acid or gas or both. Ped has me doing a Mylanta test (short term only) when she screeches suddenly while nursing. I'm also doing what I can. Nursing upright. Keeping her upright after. Not jostling. Etc. I honestly can't tell if the Mylanta test worked. Early this week we had a couple nights of long crying episodes with pain. I did a ton of diet eliminations: nuts, cruciferous veg, nightshades and citrus. I was already Paleo (since 2011)/non dairy (since 1997), no caffeine no alcohol. Now we just have evening fussies but I've been able to combat long evening cries and screeching. Is it me and my changes? Am I getting better at soothing? Was it the Mylanta? Not being sure what was effective is as frustrating as not knowing what was wrong. If Mylanta works Ped wants to go to Rx Zantac. I feel results are inconclusive.

    Last night we slept 9P to 2A (yay!) But 2A to 5A was a 3 hour nursing marathon w/amix of everything I listed above except pain screeches. We dozed some after 4.This is pretty common right now. Again how does anyone ever know the cause(s). We did another bottle test yesterday that went poorly? Related? Irrelevant? I don't know, that's next.

    The bottle tests are occasional. The first nipple flow was too fast, but DH was successful in feeding her a couple times in past 2.5 weeks. Problem is she wants more and he now knows not to overfeed. I wanted to test a slower flow nipple, which she couldn't seem to work. Yesterday this resulted in an hour of DH battling the crying baby. Now normally I leave the house during bottle test but I confess I hid out upstairs. That crying never stopped and finally I went down and took her and simply said - let me help. I walked and rocked her for 1/2 hour. She whined and snuffled the whole time and finally passed out. So if I let the faster flow nipple continue and she's bottle fed throughout my workday, might this result in her started to perceive mom's boobs are too much work? On the flip side she's still a nurse all day kid and I dread how long it might take to get into a rhythm while I'm gone every day (looks like we're going to go with an in home nanny. No other licensed care option would accommodate cloth diapers and I'm not willing to switch to disposable. So much for this green society we supposedly live in.)

    I had hoped as we approached the 12 week mark the magic would start to happen. But I also knew there was no guarantee. Even now as I'm nursing her, her whole body is moving and thrashing. She screeched in pain. It went on so I did 2 CCs of Mylanta. It stopped, but fussing continues on and off, going from wild to sleepy. Did the Mylanta work? I switched sides. Better but still wild to sleepy and back. Argh. I'm not sure I'm even looking for anything from the forum beyond some 'I've been exactly where you are' replies.
    1st time mom over 40 to Alex(andra) b: 7/14/12

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Argh why is this so frustrating?

    My oldest was a very high needs baby which it sounds like what you may be dealing with. Just when we got one thing figured out he would start something new. in his case I did not think that the over-the-counter gas reduction methods did anything but we did finally go on reflux meds for a short time - this was at about four months - and that did seem to help a little. however I'm still convinced to this day that the primary issue was forceful letdown due to my oversupply which I did not even have a name for at the time.
    I suggest you give your caregiver information on paced bottlefeeding. no matter what kind of nipple you are using it is important that the caregiver understand that sometimes babies need other types of comforting than bottles and how to give a bottle in such a way that baby has more control over the flow. This will presumably help baby be happier with bottles in general and will make it less likely baby is over fed. You can find the handout called bottlefeeding the breast-fed baby if you search 'toolkit' on this site. That handout is in the tearsheet toolkit which should be the first thing that will come up.
    By the way that super fussy baby is now a very sweet, imaginative, intelligent, strong and happy nine year old boy who still has a tendency to get very upset and fussy over little things.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Argh why is this so frustrating?

    Yeah I'm not sure I have oversupply. I went thru the list below on LLL site. And let downs will be more forceful yes?

    Baby cries a lot, and is often very irritable and/or restless Yes and No. I'm not sure what cries a lot is in a newborn.
    Baby may sometimes gulp, choke, sputter, or cough during feedings at breast. Sometimes not always.
    Baby may seem to bite or clamp down on the nipple while feeding. Not chronically.
    Milk sprays when baby comes off, especially at the beginning of a feeding. Has never happened.
    Mother may have sore nipples. Not really. Occasionally, not lasting.
    Baby may arch and hold himself very stiffly, sometimes screaming. Yes. Not every time. But throughout week.
    Feedings often seem like battles, with baby nursing fitfully on and off. Sometimes. Not always.
    Feedings may be short, lasting only 5 or 10 minutes total. I wish!! More like hours of course not all active.
    Baby may seem to have a "love-hate" relationship with the breast. Well yes but mostly love.
    Baby may burp or pass gas frequently between feedings, tending to spit up a lot. Not a lot.
    Baby may have green, watery or foamy, explosive stools. No.
    Mother's breasts feel very full most of the time. No. F
    Mother may have frequent plugged ducts, which can sometimes lead to mastitis (breast infection). No.
    1st time mom over 40 to Alex(andra) b: 7/14/12

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Argh why is this so frustrating?

    Well those checklists supposed to be general -not every baby is going to have every symptom every time. It's basically a general overall thing. I was not suggesting that you oversupply I have no idea about that, that was just one aspect of what my problem was with my guys nursing issues. Babies also can just really be fussy clingy and very needful without any specific reason I guess was my point.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Argh why is this so frustrating?

    Sorry that came across wrong. It really comes back to the same symptoms possibly different problems and the frustration associated with not knowing what's wrong or how it got fixed when it was right again.
    1st time mom over 40 to Alex(andra) b: 7/14/12

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Argh why is this so frustrating?

    Does the extreme fussiness hit at any particular time of day, or tend to worsen as the day wears on? Many babies have a really nice period in the morning/early afternoon, but turn into little screaming mimis in the later afternoon/evening. When that is the case, it's rarely anything mom is doing- it's just a baby being a baby, i.e. fussy!
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Argh why is this so frustrating?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommal View Post
    Does the extreme fussiness hit at any particular time of day, or tend to worsen as the day wears on? Many babies have a really nice period in the morning/early afternoon, but turn into little screaming mimis in the later afternoon/evening. When that is the case, it's rarely anything mom is doing- it's just a baby being a baby, i.e. fussy!
    On bad days it's all day long. Today has turned out to be one of those days. On good days evening only.
    1st time mom over 40 to Alex(andra) b: 7/14/12

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Argh why is this so frustrating?

    Since it can be all day long, but is sometimes confined to the evenings, I wonder if this isn't (cue gloomy music) colic? He's right in the window for it- it tends to kick in at around 3 weeks and disappear around 3-4 months.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Argh why is this so frustrating?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*mommal View Post
    Since it can be all day long, but is sometimes confined to the evenings, I wonder if this isn't (cue gloomy music) colic? He's right in the window for it- it tends to kick in at around 3 weeks and disappear around 3-4 months.
    I'm with you, gloomy music and all. Colic also known as "the doc doesn't know what's wrong with her".
    1st time mom over 40 to Alex(andra) b: 7/14/12

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