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Thread: Please, PLEASE help me *long*

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    54

    Thumbs up Re: Please, PLEASE help me *long*

    I'm so lost. This is just getting worse.

    All weekend, I had my husband on duty to do everything for me so all that I had to do all day was pump every two hours. I STILL couldn't do it. I feel so incredibly worthless. Not once have I had a day when I've been able to pump as much as I need to to keep my supply up - not even five times a day, let alone every two hours - and I don't have other kids to look after. Other mothers manage it, and they have children to look after, dogs to walk, a house to clean, you name it. Yet I can't manage a single day of pumping, when it's my only duty all day long. What is wrong with me? I'm trying SO hard. This weekend I even set an alarm every two hours so I wouldn't forget, and I didn't forget, I didn't have time. How is that even possible?

    The pain itself is getting worse, too. Last night I had shooting pains through my breast after I nursed her (I know that this is a symptom of thrush; I'm calling a doctor today to see someone ASAP). The pain in my nipples will not let up, and seems worse than ever. They're also starting to turn white.

    I'd like to fill you all in on what's happened today, because it's very typical of a normal day for me. LO woke around 7am and I pumped while my husband fed her formula. She only took around 1oz before she fell asleep. By 8:20, she was hungry again, so I nursed her. After 45 minutes - with me in pain the entire time - she was asleep again, and none of my methods woke her up, so I was pretty confident she was finished eating. The moment I stood up to put her in her bassinet, she threw up what I'd guestimate to be everything she'd just eaten, and started giving me her hungry cry again. I couldn't even think about nursing her, so I gave her a bottle of formula. She took half an ounce and was done. I put her, sleeping, in her swing. Ten minutes later she was awake and hungry again. This time she took 1oz, then fell asleep again. And repeat, over and over. She's been crying, on and off, all day. That ten minutes this morning was the longest consecutive period that she hasn't been crying. Every time, I rule out diaper change; needing to burp; needing to be held; being tired. All that she wants is to eat, but then she falls asleep as she's doing it and doesn't get enough.

    She's nursed for about an hour and thirty minutes today, total, and has had about 4.5oz of formula. After she spat up and got hungry again immediately after I nursed her this morning, I couldn't stop crying. Why am I doing this to myself when she just isn't ever satisfied?

  2. #12

    Default Re: Please, PLEASE help me *long*

    the white nipples sounds like vasospasm. This could happen at the same time as thrush, of course.

    Pumping tip-stop thinking about doing it 'every two hours' that is so impossible sounding it defeats moms right off. I never suggest a mom to pump every two hours just as I never say a baby has to nurse every two hours. Rather, you nurse when baby cues, which could be a very irregular pattern. you can pump the same way. See this: http://www.llli.org/docs/00000000000...umpigchart.pdf

    Also are you pumping and nursing still? how often you 'should' be pumping depends on how much baby is nursing...

    Your baby crying when being put down and having spit ups even big ones is normal, btw. babies spit up and hate being put down pretty much as a rule.

    I again suggest that you contact a local bfding support group. And a competent ibclc.

    And you mentioned ppd. Are you being treated? this is very, very important...

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    54

    Default Re: Please, PLEASE help me *long*

    Being treated for PPD? Not... Currently, no. I would really rather not go into finances any more than this, but DH is about to lose his job (and with it, our health insurance) and we still don't have everything we need for LO - again, due to finances, and I really would prefer to leave it at that - and I just can't justify the extra expense. It's the same with seeing the breastfeeding wizard: if insurance will cover it, fantastic; but otherwise, I can't justify it, since we've already seen so many and it's not guaranteed to work.

    That chart is FANTASTIC, thank you. It also answers another question I had, but just to clarify: should I still pump at night, even though LO is sleeping through the night? I'm pretty sure that she's only STTN because of the formula (because formula takes longer to digest, so she's full and content for longer; which isn't necessarily a good thing; correct me if I'm wrong on either point there), though, and the goal is obviously to remove formula from her diet entirely. So should I pump during the night?

    I've found a LLL group local to me. I'm trying to get in touch with the leader but keep getting voicemail (which is fine), but I won't be able to go to meetings for a while, since I just missed one and I'll be out of country for their next meeting.

    Honestly, whether I pump or nurse depends on how much pain I can tolerate vs how much time I have, or how LO is acting. If she's just starting to stir, I try to work in a quick pump and bottle-feed her that milk. If she's extremely hungry I usually BF her, because it's quicker than pumping or making formula. Whether she has a full feed or just enough to keep her content while I make formula depends on how bad the pain is.

    Who do I need to see to be diagnosed with/treated for thrush or a vasospasm? My OB? LO's paediatrician? My regular doctor? And a PP mentioned (well, linked to) grapefruit seed extract. Where do I find this? I've looked in grocery stores and pharmacies, but the problem could be I have no idea what I'm looking for. Is it a liquid? Will it be with breastfeeding supplies?

    ETA - Would this work well to keep up my supply: after I feed her a bottle of formula, I pump. Then, the next time she's due a feed, I give her that pumped milk, and pump again when she's done?
    Last edited by @llli*acover4422; September 24th, 2012 at 09:44 PM.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Northern Cal.
    Posts
    4,984

    Default Re: Please, PLEASE help me *long*

    First of all, pumping is really hard. This is why we always try, whenever we can, to help women breastfeed their babies and discourage women from trying to "exclusively pump" for convenience. Because it's just NOT convenient! Finding time to pump in addition to take care of a baby (let alone several children) is really really hard.

    Given that your baby does sleep well at night, and you hopefully have a little time to pump then, I would probably pump then, for two reasons: (1) You just need to get more sessions into your day, and it's easier if you're not juggling baby care too. (2) Breastfeeding hormones tend to be highest at night and in the early morning, so pumping/nursing at those times is actually linked to a higher supply overall (no one really knows why, but that's how it is for most women).

    Two more sessions in the late night and maybe once at night or in the morning, could get you almost to those 8 sessions a day you need!

    Grapefruit Seed Extract can be bought at natural food stores that sell supplements and vitamins. It is a liquid. Here's the one I've used - http://www.amazon.com/NutriBiotic-Gr.../dp/B000M7OOPS

    I hear you on the financial strain - a lot of women are in your situation right now. But I would just like to suggest that you remember the cost of formula as you consider your options here. I remember with Joe I really needed to see an IBCLC, but I resisted because I was on unpaid leave and we were super broke. I resisted, and resisted some more, and then I realized that it was cheaper to get help than buy formula for a year, and I would be happier if I at least tried. And when I called, they offered me a sliding scale rate. It's worth looking into. Just my two cents.


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  5. #15

    Default Re: Please, PLEASE help me *long*

    Being treated for PPD? Not... Currently, no. I would really rather not go into finances any more than this, but DH is about to lose his job (and with it, our health insurance) and we still don't have everything we need for LO - again, due to finances, and I really would prefer to leave it at that - and I just can't justify the extra expense.
    Your financial situation is no doubt adding to your stress, and I am sorry about that-but really, what could your baby need more than a mother in good health? If you have insurance right this minute, then isn't this the logical time to seek treatment? And if you do not, depending on where you live, there are often public services you could take advantage of. Didn't you have a 6 week check up with your OB and didn't they ask you about your moods? In the US, at any rate, PPD screening and treatment is pretty standard a part of maternity care...How were you diagnosed with ppd in the first place? There are lots of options for 'treatment' from medication to talk therapy to things like exercise etc, but if you have PPD your doctor should know about it or you should be getting help from someone, imo…

    When you get the Leaders vm, you leave a message with your number, right? If so and you have not gotten a call back within a day or two, see if there is another group anywhere around, call those Leaders, they probably all know each other and would know if that one Leader is not able to take calls or whatever may be going on, plus of course, the other Leaders could help-really you can call and talk to ANY Leader anywhere. I think you really need to see someone who can help you find a more comfortable latch, and that might be a Leader (who would be free) Some Leaders do home visits-or an IBCLC-who sometimes will see moms at a discount etc. but you have to ask. Of course there is no guarantee- when is there ever a guarantee of success or that something will work? But that is why you try to get referrals and talk to whoever you might hire before hand, so that you at least feel like you are in caring, competent hands…

    Who do I need to see to be diagnosed with/treated for thrush or a vasospasm? My OB? LO's paediatrician? My regular doctor?
    Honestly if you cannot see an IBCLC you may have to diagnose yourself. Some doctors recognize thrush and prescribe for it but others do not. Of course you would need to see your doctor to be prescribed prescription meds, and that could be either your regular doctor or your OB, and the babies doctor would have to prescribe for baby, is usually how that works (both mom and baby have to be treated.) And there are other options like over the counter topical anti-fungals or gentian violet as well as gfs ex.

    Weren't you already seeing LCs at your doctors office? They should have the book Breastfeeding Answers Made Simple. Ask them to make you copies of the pages on thrush and its various treatment options. Ditto with vasospasm. I also think the Dr. Newman protocol for thrush is a pretty good place to start. Unfortunately there is no consensus on the best treatments for thrush and thrush is often misdiagnosed-both missed and overdiagnosed.

    Vasospasm you treat with warmth, primarily-applying warmth after nursing. and with fixing the latch which is causing the compression that is causing the vasospasm.

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    rockford,il
    Posts
    536

    Default Re: Please, PLEASE help me *long*

    I definitely can sympathize with you. I went through several weeks of EP before latching, OS issues and a serious dairy allergy which caused ds to not sleep more than an hour at a time for 2 months, ppd, my dh hurt his back and disability wouldn't pay for 4 months, and a very high needs little man who refused to be put down. And of course the criticism from EVERYONE, family or stranger, that I was doing everything wrong. But like you I knew bfing was best and if I could just figure out those early issues, it would be great. And I am nursing my 15 mo little man right now. I tell you it was worth all the misery.
    i feel your hesitation about seeking out help for the ppd. for me it was absolutely humiliating to talk to strangers about my problems but it has to be done. A call to my insurance company got me a list of a dozen therapists specializing in ppd. Talk to your doc about getting a several month supply of antidepressants (if you need to go that route) if you may lose your coverage. Ds is in a county program for high risk infants so a nurse comes to check him out every few months. She was amazing about getting me in touch with programs to help, from paying utilities to extra insurance coverage. Try your local services and see if you can find the same help.
    Good luck mama.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    rockford,il
    Posts
    536

    Default Re: Please, PLEASE help me *long*

    Oh and my therapist never charged me anything out of pocket. She just charged the insurance company bc she knew I couldn't afford it. She also had dh come to a session to work out some of the relationship issues we had going on. It helped a lot to have someone to talk with, especially as she breastfed her four children and so understood the difficulties.

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