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Thread: Breastfeeding, Naps & Daycare

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Winnipeg, Manitoba Canada
    Posts
    4

    Default Breastfeeding, Naps & Daycare

    Hello all, I am having difficulties putting my son in daycare. He's 16 months old and has been sleeping at my breast since born. Last week I attempted to go back to work and thought I had found a great home daycare. He cried and cried when the owner tried to put him down for a nap which ended up making the other children wake up and missing their naps. So she told us it wouldn't work out and now I am left with having to extend my mat leave (again) and unsure of what to do next. We have thought of him missing his nap but that just makes him grumpy and extremely tired the next day. Unfortunately we need two incomes to support us or I would love to stay at home with him. We have tried a few things to try to help him sleep on his own (from Elizabeth Pantley's and Dr. Sears books). The only thing we have not tried is to let him CIO. That's not our parenting style and I don't think it would work in the end. He not only cries, but also kicks and stands up in his crib. Has anyone ever dealt with this? Would it be easier to wait till he's 2 to put him in daycare? Thanks for reading.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    1,293

    Default Re: Breastfeeding, Naps & Daycare

    my son is 19 months and takes naps at dc without the breast but always falls asleep nursing at home.

    i would not let him CIO if it were me (and you don't seem to like that either).

    maybe your dh could transition into taking over bedtime? you could nurse through the night if necessary, but your dh could take that initial "go to bed" time?

    maybe even make a new routine, like nurse, bath, books, rock to sleep with daddy and some soothing music.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    106

    Default Re: Breastfeeding, Naps & Daycare

    I wish I had better advice, but all I can offer is that you should probably start whatever you are going to do now. Toddlers can be inflexible little people, so I do not think it will be any easier at 2.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Northern Cal.
    Posts
    4,984

    Default Re: Breastfeeding, Naps & Daycare

    I feel like maybe your DCP isn't trying hard enough? Maybe she's too overwhelmed to try different methods or be more creative with it? Even if he won't nap, perhaps he would play with something quietly while the other children sleep. This doesn't seem like a do-or-die thing.

    My son was always a touch and go napper. No way he would have gone down for a stranger on the first (or fifth) try. Heck no! But I bet a lot of kids are like that. She's really giving up after only one week of trying?


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    361

    Default Re: Breastfeeding, Naps & Daycare

    to PP. My son stayed with my mom since he was 3 months old, and stopped going down with a bottle around a year. But my mom had a family emergency that left her gone for several days a week for several weeks in a row around when he was 16-18 months... so I had a girl I know try and keep him. He was fine until it was nap time, then proceeded to cry hysterically until I got there. We tried again with another friend that he had spent more time with - same thing. We ended up not being able to leave him with anyone else on those days. Now all that to say... had I spent more time with my friend with LO, he may have become more accustomed to her and eventually settled down. It would have taken patience on her part, and some steel on mine to know he was going to cry.(NOT CIO). My LO is very stuck on his routine, it changed and he didn't like it much. But new routines can be developed...it just takes time and patience.

    I too am surprised that the dcp is giving up so quickly??
    FT working momma to a 9/11/10 busy boy and 11/13/12 happy little man.
    Also wife to hubs since 8/23/08, bonus momma to H (girl) -99 and G (boy)-03

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: Breastfeeding, Naps & Daycare

    Maybe find a really small daycare? One with only older kids? I do thus so my DCP had time to spend with my baby/toddler and hold him if need be.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Northern Virginia
    Posts
    547

    Default Re: Breastfeeding, Naps & Daycare

    I agree that your DCP didn't try hard enough. Is there any way you can hire a sitter? Our sitter/nanny is affordable (luckily we don't live in a big city, she's young and just starting out as a nanny, and we only need her 6-7 hours a day) and has really been great with getting my DD to nap, as well as making our lives easier, for the most part. She came from a daycare where she said they weren't allowed to rock the kids -- so I would imagine waking the other kids up is par for the course. I would also think any DCP would expect kids to have a tough transition.
    Mom to my sweet little "Pooper," born 10/12/11, and "Baby Brother," born 6/23/2014, and married to heavy metal husband. Working more than full-time, making healthy vegetarian meals for family, and trying to keep up with exercise routine.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    10

    Default Re: Breastfeeding, Naps & Daycare

    It seems like a hard transition for you LO to both go to DCP AND take naps on his own at the same time. If it were me, I would try to get him transitioned to going down for a nap without you FIRST, then try taking him back to daycare. Are there days coming up when your husband or a friend can put him down for a nap? I would definitely leave the house while he did, so your LO would know you are not an option.

    I also want to say that I now believe some babies just aren't going to learn to fall asleep on their own without crying. I didn't believe it until my DS (now 9 mo) resisted any and every method of getting him to take a nap (aside from car rides and walks in the stroller from which he would wake easily). He is incredibly persistent and determined and did not want to fall asleep lest he miss anything. This went on until he was about 5 months old (and chronically overtired) and we had exhausted every means of trying to get him to fall asleep, since we both did not want him to CIO. My husband was at home with him one day and could not put him in the stroller to get him to fall asleep since it was raining, and so put him in his crib. He cried for about 20 minutes and then slept for an hour. After a few times, he would usually fall asleep without crying at all. However, every time we have company (which is exciting for him) he will resist his naps because he doesn't want to miss out on anything. However, letting him go without a nap is worse in the long run because he ends up crying a lot later when he gets overtired.

    My point is that as much as I hate the idea of letting them CIO, for SOME babies NOTHING ELSE WILL WORK. Don't beat yourself up over it if yours is one of those.

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