Re: which is worse
Well, I am not sure how you would wean without putting limits. I'm not sure if I'm being helpful - do you mean if you were to wean cold turkey? Instead of limits?
What have you done in order to try to put limits on nursing? My 20 month old always wants to nurse when I pick her up from daycare, but we only live 10 minutes away - so I distract her by having her choose something from DCPs house to borrow until the next morning. I know that 3 year olds are more intense, but is there something that he really likes doing/having that you could say, for example - we can nurse right after we go to the playground?
I weaned my older daughter at around 2 years old when I was pregnant by having fun activities to do and phased out nursings that way. I'm not recommending you wean - that is up to you - I just think that the setting limits process and the mother-led weaning process have a lot of similarities.
Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months