working from home

[@llli*sprocket]

I've negotiated with my boss to work from home two days per week for the next few months. My husband will be home with our baby 5 days/week during that time. I'm feeling really lucky that I get to do this but I'm not finding it as straightforward as I expected it to be. My daughter is 3.5 months old and she is very laid back and not picky about who is taking care of her so I thought it would just be a matter of him bringing the baby to me to nurse when she was hungry and then leaving me to do my work when she's not.

But (surprise!!) it hasn't been that simple. I can't even really put my finger on what is wrong. One thing is that when I'm home and working, she doesn't seem to nap as well as if I'm home on the weekend or if my husband is home with her alone. When he's alone with her, she gets bottles of breast milk, which seems to help her nap more reliably, and when I'm home with her I will often nurse her to sleep for naps. But I don't have a lot of time to do that when I'm working from home, so I will nurse her before a nap and then my husband will try to put her to sleep and it just doesn't work. I can see why she's confused and reluctant to sleep! But sometimes she'll nurse for 45 minutes or an hour, mostly asleep, when I'm putting her down for a nap and I don't have time for that on the days I'm working. But I end up doing it because I want her to get the sleep she needs. Occasionally, she'll nurse on my lap on a pillow while I work at the computer and end up sleeping there for a while. Which works really well. But she doesn't seem to nap as well there as she does in bed (understandably).

I guess overall I'm just finding that I'm spending a lot of time taking care of the baby when I'm working from home. I'm sure this is mostly my fault (it's always what I'd rather be doing) but maybe my husband could use some guidance about how to be more supportive. But I'm not sure what to ask him to do. When he brings her to me to nurse, I often end up changing a diaper, playing, etc. partly because I don't want to give the baby up and partly because often by then my husband has wandered off to do something else while he has the chance (it's usually laundry or taking a shower so I don't want to complain too much!!).

Are there any moms out there who have made this work and can offer up any tips? What was your typical routine like each day? Did you nurse on totally demand or was it helpful to try to adhere somewhat to a loose schedule for feedings? I'm not even sure how we would do that but maybe it would help? Were there any "rules" you could give yourself or your baby's caregiver to try to help you both stay focused?

I would really appreciate any tips from working from home moms who have made this work. Thanks!

[@llli*mommy2lilah]

Are you working on a computer? Have you ever tried having her nurse to sleep on a boppy? I guess you're kind of doing that with the pillow...

For me, it would be unrealistic to work from home with the baby in the house, even at the age she's at now. Can you nurse her to sleep laying down and then get back up and work? Where does she sleep?

[@llli*sprocket]

Yes, it's a boppy pillow. When this works, it works well, and I can work on the computer while she sleeps, but it doesn't always work

I can't spend an hour nursing her to sleep. She falls asleep still sucking intermittently and will only fully unlatch herself after maybe an hour. If I try to unlatch her while she's sleeping and get up and go back to work, she always wakes up.

She usually naps in our bed.

[@llli*filmmommy]

I worked from home one day a week for a while. Our nanny gave my DD naptime bottles while I pumped, and then I nursed her during her awake feedings. It made me sad to not nurse her (on occasion I would nurse her to sleep if I wasn't having a busy day) but I didn't like throwing their routine out of whack. I also found that the nanny had to take her downstairs when I worked, and I'd go visit her when I wanted. That made it easier to focus on my work and I could take breaks when I felt ready. It was hard to not see her all the time, but without a commute and with lunch time spent with my DD I was at least getting more time with her than on my workdays. There were days when she napped less knowing I was around, it seemed. But other days she napped fine. You just have to let your husband handle as much of the usual routine as possible -- you don't want to threaten your ability to work from home, which will happen if your level of productivity drops.

[@llli*joshuas.mommy]

I tried to work from home briefly and it just didn't work for me, for all the reasons you've mentioned. I actually found it less stressful to go into the office every day for work and to fully concentrate on being home while I was home, rather than trying to divide my attention. I hope you're able to find a way to make it work if that's what you want, though. Good luck!

[@llli*sprocket]

Thanks for sharing your experience. The thought of pumping while working from home had occurred to me. It seemed so silly though and not what I would prefer to do, but I hadn't thought of doing it only for certain feedings and not for others. It sounds like a strategically-timed bottle or two per day while I pump at the computer might help me to focus a LOT more and I can still take breaks to nurse her at other times. Maybe we'll try that, thanks!!

You are right...I need to be able to get a lot done when I'm working from home because if I don't, I can't work from home anymore. Even having to pump once or twice per day while I work from home is better than pumping 3 times per day at the office!

[@llli*filmmommy]

I actually found myself being obsessively productive at home, because I was so happy for the opportunity. Sure I was distracted, but I figure at work I have people coming to talk (and complain!) for hours on end. Plus nursing her took less time than pumping at work, so I had at least one or two sessions a day where I saved 5-10 minutes. Just try to work out with your husband what would work for you. It's got to help him out to have you at home. It's a huge time-saver. I loved working my pajamas, not having to get ready for work in the morning! I can't wait to apply again next year to do it (I only applied for temporary, but it worked so well I'm going to try to do one year next time). Plus, without a commute and that getting ready time, you will be able to help care for her longer than you normally would.

Just don't be like me and get in the habit of eating everything in the house while working!

[@llli*filmmommy]

Forgot to mention a great bonus -- I happened to be home on the first day my DD decided to crawl! It was great. The nanny saw she was about to do it, and grabbed her and ran upstairs with her. We did some coaxing and she ended up crawling! I was so happy I wrote to my manager and co-workers and they were happy for me. I am only hoping she'll start walking at night or weekends, since my working from home is done now.

[@llli*sprocket]

Aww, that is so sweet about your baby crawling. I'm so glad you got to be there for that. That inspires me to make this work!
Yup, I'm loving working in my pajamas. One of the things that has struck me as most challenging since becoming a working mom is just that extra time it takes to get out the door in the morning. Getting dressed and ready to go while nursing the baby one last time, packing up the pump, making sure baby has everything she needs for the day--it's gotten more automatic as the days have gone by but it sure is a relief on the days I don't have to worry about it! Just open up my computer and get to work.