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Thread: Feeling pressured and stressed

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    New Zealand
    Posts
    26

    Default Feeling pressured and stressed

    Hey everyone!
    I have a 7.5 month old son and at the moment I stay at home with him during the day and I work as a community healthcare worker on a fill in type basis. This usually means evenings after 5 and weekends (split morning hours, afternoon off, and then more hours in the evening). I have to constantly nag them to get hours, but some weeks they still don't have much for me. On a good week I usually manage to get about 10 hours.
    The trouble is that my husband and I never get any time off together as he has weekends off, and also his parents live an hour and a half away and we like to go spend weekends with them occasionally. When this happens then I am not able to work those weekend hours so usually have very little hours by the end of the fortnight.
    My little guy was sleeping great waking only once or twice a night and self settling after his feed. But starting about 2 months ago he will not sleep on his own. He'll start the night off in his own bed but after the first feed he won't go back into his own bed and I spend the rest of the night in the spare bed with him. Some nights he won't stop moving around too even after I feed him so I can end up pretty tired the next day!
    Lately my husband has been saying I should start looking for a job and we will put ds in care during the day. He says about 3 days a week would be good.
    I'm just really stressed out about this because we had a lot of trouble w breast feeding at the beginning and I did a lot f pumping to get my supply up. After awhile I was no longer really getting any milk out when I pumped (my supply was ok again though so I was able to stop pumping). I'm just worried that I won't be able to pump enough for him to drink during the day.
    Also this will be a new job and I am worried no one will want to hire me as they will have to take into account that I will need to pump during the day. I know they legally are required to give me time to pump but why would they want to hire me when they could hire someone else who does not need this special treatment?
    Very concerned about leaving my son for this long, pumping enough for him to have his feeds during the day, and will it effect my supply if he is not feeding during the day?
    He is eating 3 meals a day now, but I still feed him before each meal of solids and at least two additional times between the solid meals as well.
    Sorry for the long ramble! Just feeling stressed and don't know how much longer I can put it off as we really need the money from two incomes again.
    Thanks for your help,
    Chloe and Jack xx
    Last edited by @llli*islandclo; September 3rd, 2012 at 08:29 PM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Northern Cal.
    Posts
    4,984

    Default Re: Feeling pressured and stressed

    That is a lot to think about!

    Well, pumping at work for your baby's needs is pretty different than trying to pump to get your supply up, and you might be pleasantly surprised at how easy it is, now that breastfeeding is well established and your supply is just where it needs to be. What kind of pump do you have or are planning to use for this?

    I would not even mention your need to pump at an interview. At that point, it's none of their business, it would be discrimination for them to consider it in the hiring decision, so why even tell them? Only mention it if you get the job, and then mention it in a very positive and common sense way. Every job is different, and what you need from your employer by way of breaks and space will vary based on the demands of the job. But pumping can mostly be achieved within a normal breaks/lunch schedule. Your employer may not even notice your pumping. We normally suggest that women pump every 2-3 hours, but if your baby takes a lot of solids, you may not need to pump as frequently as that. Note that I do think you need to pump - but you might be able to get away with only two sessions in a workday, especially if you nurse right before and after your day (and consider pumping on your commute if you have one). And you will only need about 20 minutes (in fact, you can pump quite a bit in 15 minutes). The space can be almost anywhere you won't be intruded on (of course, it's nice if it's not the bathroom). If you present your needs in a very short, straightforward, and professional way, and remind your employer it's only for a few months, I bet it will be no issue at all.

    All of these issues can be worked around - many of us have worked around more difficult ones than these, and we're here to brainstorm with you!


    You can call me JoMo!

    Mom to baby boy Joe, born 5/4/09 and breastfed for more than two and a half years, and baby girl Maggie, born 7/9/12.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Feeling pressured and stressed

    Would it be an option to work a few hours a day 5 days a week instead of working 3 full days? I'm just thinking that the shorter the amount of time you're away from your baby, the less you have to deal with pumping. And a more regular routine can be sometimes be easier.

    It does sound like a very stressful position to be in. I hope you find a solution that works well for you and your baby.
    Karen
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  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    157

    Default Re: Feeling pressured and stressed

    Hi

    I'm wondering about the economics of your husband's proposal.

    If you got a job working 3 days a week, you would give up your current on-call work?

    Currently, is your husband looking after baby while you do the on-call work? (i.e., free day-care)

    In your new job (3 d/wk), you will have to pay for 24 h of daycare, so that much will come out of your salary.

    So your net weekly increase in income will only be:

    (24 h x $ hourly rate at new job) - (10 h x hourly rate at current on-call job) - (24 h x $ hourly cost of daycare)

    If this isn't really a significant increase in income, it would seem reasonable to stick with your current situation, right?

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