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Thread: Yeah!!! 2 Years Breastfeeding..now I think she is weaning :P

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Northeast Pennsylvania
    Posts
    102

    Unhappy Yeah!!! 2 Years Breastfeeding..now I think she is weaning :P

    On August 25th my beautiful LO turned 2 and we celebrated 2 years nursing!!! 2 Years was my last actual "goal" even though I love nursing and would love to nurse her until 2.5 or 3.

    My daughter has been nursing 4 times a day (breakfast, before nap, before dinner and before bed). Well, for the past two months we have all been sleeping in our living room as my husband renovates our 2nd floor. Please keep in mind that we live in a very small older house and the first floor consists of a small living room, an even smaller dining room (connected together), a kitchen and a bathroom. I get one couch and my husband gets the other one while my daughter sleeps in her play pen. It is a lousy situation but it has worked for us for now...until the past few days.

    My daughter has a new habit...grinding...and I do not mean her teeth. She rubs against her pillow, the couch, her blanket, stuffed animals...anything. Well, the past few nights I will go to nurse her like usual but instead she just hangs out at the breast without really nursing at all and at times seems like she is trying to grind. She doesn't seem to care if I take her off the breast and put her in her play pen because she immediately starts grinding until she falls asleep. I am sooo upset by all this! First, the lack of nursing all of a sudden but even worse...having to watch and hear her grind since I can't leave the room to sleep.

    I get sooo mad at her and I just walk outside and cry. I think that if she didn't nurse but instead just said Goodnight Mommy and went to sleep I could handle that easier than this.

    I don't want to stop nursing her but I think it is inevitable. My supply is dropping dramatically. I know this because I still pump after most feedings. I had a problem with my supply at the beginning and therefore became a diligent pumper after just about every nursing session for the past 2 years...even on vacations. Lately my supply has plummeted. I have gotten a consistent 1 1/2 oz every pumping session for the past few months and now it is almost half that if anything.

    I still have a few months of milk in my deep freezer since I have been freezing about 36-42oz/week until recently. I was giving my daughter a cup of breast milk at every meal but now it is just breakfast and occasionally lunch. I guess I am trying to extend my stash as long as possible.

    I am writing this tonight while my daughter is grinding in her play pen, kicking the sides, laughing and basically doing anything but sleeping. But, unlike her bedroom where I could just walk out...I am stuck here. The only way I can handle it and stay in the same room is to wear headphones with loud music until she falls asleep.

    Help! I am heartbroken. I am pumping now even though my bottles are looking practically empty. Not sure if all the stress is contributing to it. Thinking that my stress is causing my drop in supply and therefore her not nursing to sleep since she is not getting any milk.

    Whatever the case...this is a bad situation. I see her grinding, talking, kicking, jumping, singing loudly as defiance since it is bed time. My husband tells me to just ignore her and go to bed.

    My goal bed time for her is 10pm since she was sleeping until 9am. Lately she has been acting up in her playpen until 1-2am and then fighting me in the morning to get her up. Help!!!

    I have taken such pride in nursing and really do not want it to end like this. I am praying our upstairs will be done soon...before I lose my mind
    Jaime
    First time mommy to Lucy Madison, born 8/25/2010.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    California
    Posts
    418

    Default Re: Yeah!!! 2 Years Breastfeeding..now I think she is weanin

    Hi mama. Sorry you're having a rough time

    First off--I think you need to think about WHY her 'grinding' bothers you so much. It's pretty normal toddler behavior to masturbate at times. I get that maybe you don't like watching it but it seems like your reaction is extreme, and if it keeps going like this could impact on your relationship with your daughter. My suggestions are twofold:
    1)Is there any place in the house that you could put her playpen where you won't have to see and hear her 'grind'? Like, maybe put her playpen in the kitchen or something? She can probably sense that you're getting angry with her, and that adds to her stress, which is not a good thing. You don't want your nursing relationship to end on an angry note!

    2)If you can't acknowledge that her 'grinding' is normal toddler behavior, and change your feelings about it, maybe you should see a therapist to figure out why this bothers you so much? It seems like it is triggering some older issue for you, but I don't know what that is.

    I hope your home renovation gets finished soon, so you can all go back to sleeping in your own beds! Good luck, and I hope this didn't come across as unsupportive.
    First-time mama to Joshua, 10/29/11. 29 months and going strong! for 14 months; now finished with pump weaning!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    343

    Default Re: Yeah!!! 2 Years Breastfeeding..now I think she is weanin

    Hi azrael,

    First off, congrats on 2 years of nursing! That's an impressive accomplishment, and I hope my LO and I can follow in your footsteps in that regard.

    If you're uncomfortable with your child developing a habit of masturbating on moral grounds, that's an opinion that other members of the forum will have to respect. There are billions of religious practicing individuals around the world who share your view.

    That touchy preamble aside, maybe you can substitute some other comfort for grinding? Could you give her a nice massage after an evening bath? Cuddle together and read an extra story or two, or look through photos of her as a baby? Your daughter's size permitting, go for a walk carrying her? Although we haven't BTDT, I have to imagine part of the grinding comes down to seeking alternate sources of comfort as nursing wanes. Doing all these things casually might be best so as not to blow up the issue or cause your daughter embarrassment about her body.

    Good luck! Please do check in later to let us know what works for you! I'll bet there are lots of parents out there in your shoes.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Northeast Pennsylvania
    Posts
    102

    Default Re: Yeah!!! 2 Years Breastfeeding..now I think she is weanin

    To be honest...my mother told me that I used to do the same thing when I was younger. I am a very open person and little bothers me...however, I think it is hard for me to sit there when I am trying to work (after her bedtime is the only time I get to work) and she is grinding and making pretty loud noises. I honestly believe that if she was in her bedroom I would care less. I believe that it is natural and I don't care that she does it...but it is also something that I don't want to sit there and watch. I think that as a stay-at-home mommy with no help from anyone other than a very busy husband...I see the time after my daughter goes to bed as my time to recharge my batteries...the ONLY time I get. Except for periods of time when teething, my daughter has always nursed to sleep. And now... when she refuses to go to bed but instead grinds or kicks her playpen I get frustrated and sad.

    I really hope I am not sounding selfish. I give just about every second of my day to my daughter and I love her dearly. This is something that I just choose not to watch or listen to. I don't know what parent would want to watch or listen to it. For hygienic reasons...I do not let my daughter use her hand to explore her body while changing her diapers...but, I do let her explore in the tub and I do not have a problem with that.

    Since our house is so small and old...I have no other rooms to put her playpen in unfortunately. Hubby was working all night on the upstairs...so, hopefully things will get back to normal soon. She nursed tonight...just not to sleep...but thankfully she rolled over and went to sleep without grinding.
    Jaime
    First time mommy to Lucy Madison, born 8/25/2010.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    middle of IA
    Posts
    1,885

    Default Re: Yeah!!! 2 Years Breastfeeding..now I think she is weanin

    mama, sometimes there ain't nothing wrong with headphones.
    DS1 6/7/11
    DS2 10/29/13

    Nursing, pumping, cloth-diapering, babywearing, working professor mama with the awesomest SAHD ever.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Dallas, TX
    Posts
    255

    Default Re: Yeah!!! 2 Years Breastfeeding..now I think she is weanin

    I have no advice for you but home renovations are soooo disruptive, in so many ways. Hope you all get back to normal soon!
    Lisa

    Mom to Aimee, born 8/22/11
    for 20 months!

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