On August 25th my beautiful LO turned 2 and we celebrated 2 years nursing!!! 2 Years was my last actual "goal" even though I love nursing and would love to nurse her until 2.5 or 3.
My daughter has been nursing 4 times a day (breakfast, before nap, before dinner and before bed). Well, for the past two months we have all been sleeping in our living room as my husband renovates our 2nd floor. Please keep in mind that we live in a very small older house and the first floor consists of a small living room, an even smaller dining room (connected together), a kitchen and a bathroom. I get one couch and my husband gets the other one while my daughter sleeps in her play pen. It is a lousy situation but it has worked for us for now...until the past few days.
My daughter has a new habit...grinding...and I do not mean her teeth. She rubs against her pillow, the couch, her blanket, stuffed animals...anything. Well, the past few nights I will go to nurse her like usual but instead she just hangs out at the breast without really nursing at all and at times seems like she is trying to grind. She doesn't seem to care if I take her off the breast and put her in her play pen because she immediately starts grinding until she falls asleep. I am sooo upset by all this! First, the lack of nursing all of a sudden but even worse...having to watch and hear her grind since I can't leave the room to sleep.
I get sooo mad at her and I just walk outside and cry. I think that if she didn't nurse but instead just said Goodnight Mommy and went to sleep I could handle that easier than this.
I don't want to stop nursing her but I think it is inevitable. My supply is dropping dramatically. I know this because I still pump after most feedings. I had a problem with my supply at the beginning and therefore became a diligent pumper after just about every nursing session for the past 2 years...even on vacations. Lately my supply has plummeted. I have gotten a consistent 1 1/2 oz every pumping session for the past few months and now it is almost half that if anything.
I still have a few months of milk in my deep freezer since I have been freezing about 36-42oz/week until recently. I was giving my daughter a cup of breast milk at every meal but now it is just breakfast and occasionally lunch. I guess I am trying to extend my stash as long as possible.
I am writing this tonight while my daughter is grinding in her play pen, kicking the sides, laughing and basically doing anything but sleeping. But, unlike her bedroom where I could just walk out...I am stuck here. The only way I can handle it and stay in the same room is to wear headphones with loud music until she falls asleep.
Help! I am heartbroken. I am pumping now even though my bottles are looking practically empty. Not sure if all the stress is contributing to it. Thinking that my stress is causing my drop in supply and therefore her not nursing to sleep since she is not getting any milk.
Whatever the case...this is a bad situation. I see her grinding, talking, kicking, jumping, singing loudly as defiance since it is bed time. My husband tells me to just ignore her and go to bed.
My goal bed time for her is 10pm since she was sleeping until 9am. Lately she has been acting up in her playpen until 1-2am and then fighting me in the morning to get her up. Help!!!
I have taken such pride in nursing and really do not want it to end like this. I am praying our upstairs will be done soon...before I lose my mind