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Thread: 3 month old: Naptime issues...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
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    70

    Unhappy 3 month old: Naptime issues...

    Hi mamas, looking to get some advice on naptime routines and settling a baby for a nap. I fear that my fiance and I have created a bad habit by always bouncing/rocking our LO for 10+ minutes every time she is due for a nap. I am against CIO, as most moms are on this forum, so I decided to turn to this forum for help! She is getting very heavy (we think almost 14 lbs... oh boy) and most of the time I tire out before she falls asleep and then my fiance needs to take over...!

    Here are our issues:

    - LO doesn't like to nurse while awake, and this is very frustrating. Usually we will bounce/rock her until she is completely asleep and then I will nurse her. She gets multiple decent meals throughout the day using this method, so I am happy about that, but sometimes she wakes back up and we have to start the process all over again. It can get very tiring, especially if she gets worked up and starts to cry.

    - She is a great napper, but only in her swing... We are trying to wean her from the swing and yesterday we got a 50 min nap from her in her crib! It was amazing. But again we needed to bounce her then feed her in order to earn that nap...

    - We have no nap time routine as of now, is it too late to start one? I tried to do a modified "bedtime routine" earlier today and she was not having it and got more and more riled up until I couldn't help her stop crying. My bedtime routine is to rock her until she is calm (not sleepy at all) then I will lay down to nurse her. She only nurses to sleep at night!! I kept attempting to nurse, but she refused multiple times so I didn't want to push the issue and make her dislike nursing.

    Anyone experience success with a baby who didn't like nursing while awake, but eventually came around? It makes me sad sometimes that offering to nurse just makes her more upset most of the time

    Thanks again for the forthcoming advice, you gals are great
    Amber

    Mommy to Baby Sage: 6lb, 19in, born on 5/20/12

    love: hotsling AP, bumgenius diapers, ergoBaby
    loving fiancée to SAHD

    visit us at: mommy & sage

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    277

    Default Re: 3 month old: Naptime issues...

    I see from your siggy you have a hotsling and and ergo, will she fall asleep and/or nurse in either of your carriers? That's usually my go to when I know baby is ready for a nap but nothing else is working. Then I can get something done and I don't feel like I'm working so hard to get baby to sleep. Sorry I don't have any ideas for not wanting to nurse when she's awake.
    Married to my High School sweetheart 5-15-04

    SAHM to:
    born 6/1/10 tongue and lip ties nursed 13 months with sore nipples and mutually agreed it was time to quit!
    born all natural 1/27/12 nursed for 16 months and lost interest
    1/1/14

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    6,564

    Default Re: 3 month old: Naptime issues...

    When you nurse her in her sleep, why don't you just leave her wherever you're nursing her? Couldn't you nurse her on the floor on a blanket - that would eliminate the swing need.

    I have tried a few things when the sleeping routine didn't work anymore. It has not been my experience that having a routine does anything for a child less than a year or 18 monthsish, but maybe it does for some. However, when I got sick of the bouncing thing with my second child, who didn't want to nurse to sleep for a stretch - I would put her in the Ergo and go for a walk. Sometimes she fell asleep, sometimes she was sleepy enough to nurse when I got back home. Either way, I got some exercise and fresh air and didn't hurt my back with the bouncing. Also, have you tried bouncing with baby in the Ergo? That might help. And what about pacifiers? For a while Trixie would fall asleep in minutes when I was bouncing her if she had a pacifier in her mouth.

    Sorry, no experience with the nursing strikes.

    Good luck mama!
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    20,819

    Default Re: 3 month old: Naptime issues...

    My first thought is, "Why bother weaning her from the swing?"

    My kids napped in the swing until they spontaneously outgrew it. With DD1 that took until around a year, with DD2 we had to transition to the stroller at around 6 months. In fact, that's where she's napping right this minute, at 2+ years old.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  5. #5
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    Jun 2009
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    Default Re: 3 month old: Naptime issues...

    Why ditch the swing?

    Also, you should post a separate thread about the nursing strike so those moms can see it.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
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    504

    Default Re: 3 month old: Naptime issues...

    Re: nursing while awake. My DD is exactly like this. There are at least two other mama on here with DDs who are the same. I'm hopeful they will chime in. I regret to say that I haven't had much luck with getting DD to nurse while awake yet (this started when she was about 2.5 months and she's 5 months now) BUT I work FT so she gets bottles all day anyways. Things might be different if I were home with her all day. Never give up hope that she'll nurse while awake again!

    Re: naps. Keep using the swing if it works. Otherwise, just keep trying to put her in her crib. I wouldn't say a "routine" really emerges yet for a 3 month old, but generally speaking a baby that age has a wakeful period that shouldn't exceed 90 minutes to 2 hours. So, note the time that she wakes up. About 90 minutes later, carefully start to observer her behavior. If you see her spacing out, yawning, pulling her ears or rubbing her eyes (or whatever she does when she starts to get tired), start trying to get her down. By catching her in this "window" where she is starting to get drowsy but not overtired, you'll have an easier time. If you miss the window and she gets overtired, it will be harder to get her down.

    Good luck!!
    Blessed with DS - born 9/2/09 - nursed/pumped for 12 months
    Blessed with DD - born 3/27/12 my dreamfeeder

    903 ounces donated.
    http://www.wakemed.org/landing.cfm?id=135

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
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    70

    Default Re: 3 month old: Naptime issues...

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*browncow View Post
    I see from your siggy you have a hotsling and and ergo, will she fall asleep and/or nurse in either of your carriers? That's usually my go to when I know baby is ready for a nap but nothing else is working. Then I can get something done and I don't feel like I'm working so hard to get baby to sleep. Sorry I don't have any ideas for not wanting to nurse when she's awake.
    For some reason she only falls asleep in her carrier when we are out and about in public! I think it's a matter of being "bored" of the house, but we can't be out of the house all the time...! It was surprising the first time she fell asleep in her sling, and I tried to replicate it at home (we were at the mall when it happened) to no avail. Also, she's still a bit too small for the Ergo. Great head control, but she can't spread her legs so we usually have one leg froggied up and one leg sticking out. She has yet to fall asleep in the Ergo...

    @llli*mommy2lilah: Thanks for the advice. Sometimes I will nurse her lying down in our bed and just sneak away, but I much prefer having her somewhere where I can keep an eye on her (the swing) or monitor her (in her crib with the baby monitor on). But that's an issue with me, not with her Also, it would be great if we could just go out walking all of the time, but we live in Arizona and I am not too fond of heat exhaustion!! Haha. It really is unfortunate, but in the evening we do get outdoors a lot and it helps (although it is still 90 degrees out!!).

    We have also tried pacifiers, but those are hit or miss. If she's content, she might take it, or it'll make her VERY upset. As in "how dare you stick this fake nipple in my mouth!!!" Haha. We tried to coax her to suck it into her mouth, but she usually just turns away. It's not an issue of nipple confusion, it's almost like she just hates all nipples unless asleep/drowsy!!!

    @llli*mommal: I have no problem with the swing when we are at home, but when we are visiting with family (or somewhere where we don't have this wonderful swing of ours) there is no hope of keeping DD asleep. I suppose I wanted to wean her so that she would be fine sleeping on her back, stationary, but I can see how this is going to be a difficult transition. She sleeps in her crib just fine at night, and it's so easy to get her down for bedtime, but during naps she needs to be moving!

    @llli*worknpump: I hope that this is just a phase. I'm thinking that she just doesn't want to miss out on the world because sometimes she will nurse beautifully when awake, then the dog will bark, or my fiance will start talking and she'll unlatch and search around for where the noise came from. It's endearing at the same time that it is frustrating!! It's silly that she can't stay focused on nursing unless we have complete silence, haha... Also, we are watching her like a hawk for her "tired cues" and I think we will slowly figure them out. They just seem really subtle, like she doesn't start yawning until it is waaay too late. I think she's more of a "stare off into space" baby when she is starting to get tired. We are also trying out soothing music and lullabies about 15 minutes before we try to put her down, just to "set the mood" of sleep... We'll see how that goes.



    Thanks for all the replies mamas!!! I didn't know that not nursing while awake was considered a "nursing strike." Gah, what a scary term!! She loves nursing to sleep during bedtime, and nurses so well when she wakes up in the middle of the night, but is waaaay too busy to be bothered with boobies during the day! Sigh.

    She is currently napping in her crib, I was able to get her to nurse for ~10 minutes after bouncing for 5 minutes and she started to get drowsy. However, she woke up straight away after she was done with one side and then wanted nothing to do with nursing after that... Oh well, baby steps.
    Amber

    Mommy to Baby Sage: 6lb, 19in, born on 5/20/12

    love: hotsling AP, bumgenius diapers, ergoBaby
    loving fiancée to SAHD

    visit us at: mommy & sage

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    504

    Default Re: 3 month old: Naptime issues...

    Yes, you're right. Baby steps My kids always took longer to consolidate their daytime sleep (naps) than nighttime sleep. Even now, at 5 months, DD still has a hard time getting past the 20-30 minute "nap hump" where she wakes up after just one sleep cycle.

    Re: leaving her in your bed after nursing - I used to do this with DD - I just moved the baby monitor to our bedroom if she was sleeping in my bed. Then I felt more comfortable leaving her there (surrounded by pillows in the event she catapulted herself off the bed at 3 months - ha!). Just a thought, but you could just put the monitor in there while she's napping.
    Blessed with DS - born 9/2/09 - nursed/pumped for 12 months
    Blessed with DD - born 3/27/12 my dreamfeeder

    903 ounces donated.
    http://www.wakemed.org/landing.cfm?id=135

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
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    70

    Default Re: 3 month old: Naptime issues...

    Well, I got a 40 minute nap out of her when she was in her crib so that is progress. I think she is the same way -- she will go thru one sleep cycle and then can't settle herself unless she is moving. I picked her up and bounced her while she was tummy-down on my arms and she went back to sleep. 40 minutes seems like a solid nap, but she wakes up fussy/cranky unless she gets at least a 1.5 hour nap during this time of day. We don't have a strict schedule, just something that we've noticed about her.

    I think that I will start having the baby monitor closer to our bed (it actually is in our bedroom because that's where her crib is) and then just allowing her to sleep on our bed without any blankets or pillows. I think she'd be fine if she was in the middle of a queen size bed, she's not that mobile yet It is funny to watch the acrobats she does in her sleep when she's in her crib though!
    Amber

    Mommy to Baby Sage: 6lb, 19in, born on 5/20/12

    love: hotsling AP, bumgenius diapers, ergoBaby
    loving fiancée to SAHD

    visit us at: mommy & sage

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    Default Re: 3 month old: Naptime issues...

    Put a pillow border around her so that she can't roll off the bed, otherwise she'll be fine. Monitors pick up the noise even if they are not right next to the baby. Our monitor in Trixie's room is probably 10 feet away from her bed.

    Also, look for the book "No Cry Sleep Solution." She has some good tips in there.
    Tracie

    Mommy to
    Lilah 10/08 nursed 25 months
    Beatrix 01/11 nursed 30 months

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