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Thread: So Confused!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
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    Illinois
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    53

    Default So Confused!

    Hi moms,

    Hoping to get some feedback regarding some new behaviors that I am just stumped about... my son is 3 months 8 days (to be exact). First of all, he is drooling, a lot. If I don't put a bib on him, I have to change him several times a day just from drool. Second is his new tongue movements. Sometimes when feeding, DS will play with the nipple with his tonguge. Other times when feeding, he will pull away, sometimes crying, turn to/ from the breast, and when I try to give him the nipple again, he just pushes it out with his tongue- is he telling me he is done? His feedings have become much shorter, so I feel like I have a hard time telling when he is finished. He will get upset if I keep trying to feed him. In the past, he used to fall asleep nursing, or at least give me a closed mouth/ tight lips look so I would know he's done. He rarely does that anymore, but instead pulls off either crying or just turns away and starts looking around. There are also an increasingly number of times that he appears to be distracted when I try to nurse it him and it takes numerous attempts before I can get him to latch on cause he just keeps looking around. Finally, in the past, I would know he was hungry because he would put his hands in his mouth. Now, his hands are always in his mouth and sometimes he is hungry and will take the breast, and other times he does the behavior I decribed above (turns away, pushes nipple out with tongue or just cries) when I try to feed him. What is my DS trying to say? I feel so bad because I feel like I can't figure him out lately (just when I started feeling confident that we are on the same page ). Could he be teething this early? Any ideas as to what's going on? Thank you!!
    First-time mom to David Alan, born 5-20-12. Enjoying maternity leave for his 1st 5 months and then returning to full-time work as a school social worker and nursing mom.





  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
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    Default Re: So Confused!

    I forgot to mention that he tries to chew anything that comes near his mouth (also new behavior)- his fingers, my shirt, his carrier, his bibs, and any toys he can get to his mouth). He always has sucked his fingers, but this chewing thing just started a few days ago
    Last edited by @llli*davidsmomma; August 29th, 2012 at 06:14 PM. Reason: Typo
    First-time mom to David Alan, born 5-20-12. Enjoying maternity leave for his 1st 5 months and then returning to full-time work as a school social worker and nursing mom.





  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
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    Default Re: So Confused!

    No advice for you mama, except to say that I could have written this post! This describes my LO exactly. And I totally feel you, I got really comfortable with nursing after 2 months, with understanding her, then she gets close to turning 3 months old and becomes an enigma...haha! I wasn't sure if my LO would be teething this early either, but it seems to be the case. She is drooling buckets of drool all of the time and is suddenly getting diaper rashes when nothing has changed! Sucking/chewing on her hands is also unreliable as a hunger cue (or she is hungry but just way too distracted? The world may never know). Anyway, I have the best luck feeding her when we just put her down for a nap. She dream feeds all the time, or she'll be drowsy. But if she's wide awake... nursing ain't gonna happen. Sigh.

    I'm just going to leave you with some and say good luck!
    Amber

    Mommy to Baby Sage: 6lb, 19in, born on 5/20/12

    love: hotsling AP, bumgenius diapers, ergoBaby
    loving fiancée to SAHD

    visit us at: mommy & sage

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    1,110

    Default Re: So Confused!

    it could be teething or not, at this age they start to drool a lot.
    If he is not fussy, suddenly crying all the time, I wouldn't worry too much in trying to understand him, as long as you nurse on demand, he'll nurse when he is ready. If, on the other hand, he doesn't seem content, I would probably try to rule out a ear infection.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    SW Ohio
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    Default Re: So Confused!

    Sometimes when feeding, DS will play with the nipple with his tonguge. Other times when feeding, he will pull away, sometimes crying, turn to/ from the breast, and when I try to give him the nipple again, he just pushes it out with his tongue- is he telling me he is done? His feedings have become much shorter, so I feel like I have a hard time telling when he is finished. He will get upset if I keep trying to feed him. In the past, he used to fall asleep nursing, or at least give me a closed mouth/ tight lips look so I would know he's done. He rarely does that anymore, but instead pulls off either crying or just turns away and starts looking around.
    Babies are good at throwing parents for a loop just when we think we have finally "figured" them out If he starts doing the above after feeding on one side, you can try burping him and offering the second breast. If he still refuses, he is probably finished feeding for the time being. The shorter feeding sessions are one of the benefits of breastfeeding as time goes on!

    There are also an increasingly number of times that he appears to be distracted when I try to nurse it him and it takes numerous attempts before I can get him to latch on cause he just keeps looking around.
    Yep, this is normal at his age too! It is frustrating though. When my DS1 would get very distracted at that age while we were out, those were the times that I would either attempt to use a blanket or find a quiet, secluded area to minimize distractions. When at home, you can try nursing in a dark, quiet room too.

    You could also try wearing a nursing necklace. At three months, babies are really starting to take in their surroundings and noticing textures and sensations. He might enjoy having a nursing necklace to grab ahold of while at the breast. Though, he may still be a bit young for it too. You can give it a shot and see how he likes it

    Finally, in the past, I would know he was hungry because he would put his hands in his mouth. Now, his hands are always in his mouth and sometimes he is hungry and will take the breast, and other times he does the behavior I decribed above (turns away, pushes nipple out with tongue or just cries) when I try to feed him. What is my DS trying to say? I feel so bad because I feel like I can't figure him out lately (just when I started feeling confident that we are on the same page ). Could he be teething this early? Any ideas as to what's going on? Thank you!!
    I think this goes back to the above and your DS experimenting with new sensations. Many parents believe that these (hands frequently in the mouth, increased drooling) are signs that baby may be teething early, when really the increase in baby's drooling has more to do with the fact that he is chewing and sucking on his hands, toys, etc. Teething is more likely to occur starting around 5 months, though of course there are exceptions to this!

    HTH!
    JoEllen married to Jason 10-29-2005.

    Mama to Logan 12-26-2007
    Breastfed for 2 years and weaned on his own terms


    Our Lincoln 6-11-2011 to 9-12-2011
    my homebirthed-water baby, who was born with a broken heart




    And our special blessing, Leonidas 9-5-2012. A toddler who loves his "boops!"

    Come visit our blog here!

    SURPRISE!!! We caught the first PP egg and are currently baking baby BOY #4! Due to arrive late-Jan/early-Feb

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Illinois
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    53

    Default Re: So Confused!

    Thanks mommas. It is frustrating, especially when I try so hard to read him. I know it's ok not to always understand our LOs cues, but I so want to... anyways, I'll just keep trying. Hopefully this phase shall too pass. The one thing he also does, that probably upsets me the most is when I go to bf him and he just cries. Like tonight- I always nurse him prior to sleep (it's the final step in our bedtime routine)- for the past month has been working like a charm. But the last few days, he just cries for like 2 minutes and I keep trying- he then suddenly starts sucking (while crying) and then finally, eats for like 20 minutes- don't understand it.
    @lasbi.modeu- you mentioned an ear infection- what makes you say that? Is this something I need to watch for? If so, what are the signs (besides the crying).
    @wuvamber- if this continues tomorrow, I might just try a "nurse in" and lay in bed with him all day so we can try nursing when he is sleepy/ sleeping- worth a shot- it sounds like that is really working for you.

    Thanks again ladies- I love this forum- always so helpful!
    First-time mom to David Alan, born 5-20-12. Enjoying maternity leave for his 1st 5 months and then returning to full-time work as a school social worker and nursing mom.





  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
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    70

    Default Re: So Confused!

    Good luck! If you feel that your LO is eating sufficiently, although distracted, you may not need to dreamfeed. But I dream feed my baby because I am certain that she wouldn't get enough milk otherwise. She is always popping off the breast to look at things. Definitely sounds like a phase.

    Sometimes my LO will cry when I try to feed her too, so I just come back to it later, especially at bedtime when I really don't want to rile her up. What calms her down before nursing her at bedtime is just holding her tummy-down over my arms (called the football hold I think? Unrelated to the football hold for nursing...) and stand in front of the mirror while gently bouncing. She really likes looking at herself while being bounced lol. Then I'll make my way over to my bed and nurse her lying down and it seems to work every time with no tears. I also take her around the house to say goodnight to everything, and she loves it. I think just showing her that the world doesn't disappear when she goes into our room for bedtime seems to work well.

    Anyway, continue to try different things and situations that would make your LO more amenable to nursing. Try when he's sleepy, sleeping, or just waking up, and you may be able to avoid having him become distracted.
    Amber

    Mommy to Baby Sage: 6lb, 19in, born on 5/20/12

    love: hotsling AP, bumgenius diapers, ergoBaby
    loving fiancée to SAHD

    visit us at: mommy & sage

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    IL
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    13

    Default Re: So Confused!

    It's always something with this kids, isn't it?! I've got a 9 month old, but we definitely went through this. Very distracted at 3 months. But crying and angry at the breast as well. He was just too busy to spend the time eating. We had to start nursing in silence. A nursing cover helped. At least in our case, we were dealing with teeth as well. You might be too if he's trying to chew on everything. It seems early, I know. My guy didn't get his first tooth until 19 weeks, but started hard-core chewing on everything and going through really fussy times that would come and go at 3 months. Hang in there!!!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    5,474

    Default Re: So Confused!

    my eldest got first got his first teeth at four months.

    His drooling was copious for months. We kept using bibs until i noticed an awful rash all around his neck. It was from the chafing of the wet bibs! poor baby. So i ditched the bibs and went back to changing his clothes 6 times a day. that rash was a nightmare to get rid of.

    If a baby seems like maybe they would like to nurse, no harm in offering. My older kids are 6 and 9 and i still have to guess half the time if they need a snack.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
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    70

    Default Re: So Confused!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*lllmeg View Post
    my eldest got first got his first teeth at four months.

    His drooling was copious for months. We kept using bibs until i noticed an awful rash all around his neck. It was from the chafing of the wet bibs! poor baby. So i ditched the bibs and went back to changing his clothes 6 times a day. that rash was a nightmare to get rid of.

    If a baby seems like maybe they would like to nurse, no harm in offering. My older kids are 6 and 9 and i still have to guess half the time if they need a snack.
    My LO has a pesky neck rash too. I am guessing it is from drool making its way down onto her neck. How do you go about getting rid of this?
    Amber

    Mommy to Baby Sage: 6lb, 19in, born on 5/20/12

    love: hotsling AP, bumgenius diapers, ergoBaby
    loving fiancée to SAHD

    visit us at: mommy & sage

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