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Thread: Baby sleeps in crib and I feel bad

  1. #21
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
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    344

    Default Re: Baby sleeps in crib and I feel bad

    Anyways, she's been in her crib a week I'm getting tired getting up and down all night. How do I convince stubborn baby daddy to let me co sleep?? I have a huge vanity I would need his help moving to do it... I want my girl next to me!
    A quick recap of your points:

    - You're tired from schlepping down the hall at night
    - You'd feel more comfortable with baby nearby
    - Daddy isn't contributing to night time parenting
    - You are (presumably) in your own home/apartment/condo

    My thoughts:

    - You don't need anyone's permission to parent your own child the way you'd prefer, especially when a workable alternative hasn't been suggested and you're doing the heavy lifting
    - If you're comfortable checking in on baby with a monitor, you could have Daddy wake and bring Baby to you every time she wakes. There's an expression that every father is pro-BF at 3am, and I think this carries over to cosleeping arrangements too.
    - There be some underlying issue/resentment toward Baby that your boyfriend isn't expressing, and it's being dumped on the cosleeping discussion.

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    middle of IA
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    1,885

    Default Re: Baby sleeps in crib and I feel bad

    DS1 6/7/11
    DS2 10/29/13

    Nursing, pumping, cloth-diapering, babywearing, working professor mama with the awesomest SAHD ever.

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Kimberly, ID
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    28

    Default Re: Baby sleeps in crib and I feel bad

    Good advice, I agree with your last comment because the other day I tried to lay down in bed with her in the early morning and he said not to, and asked if I would go to the couch, he says he can't sleep well with her there.
    I am a 26 yr old Registered Nursing student, and more importantly a happy mom!
    born 12/2/05
    born 3/9/09.
    born 2/12/12
    I love and I love my kids

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    24

    Default Re: Baby sleeps in crib and I feel bad

    I switched Peds when he told us to CIO at 2 mos. I think it's a fad that "modern science" started in the last century. No other mammals sleeps with their baby 20 feet away. CIO feels wrong because it *is* wrong. Co-sleep, you'll get more sleep (It takes a few nights to get used to it, then you love it!), and the evidence to back it is overwhelming. Babies are too little to understand the methods behind CIO. Parents may claim it worked for them, but how do you really know? Maybe their insecurities as a teen stem from it! We're learning more that experiences as a tiny baby affect your adult life. These are of course my opinions Frankly, I feel very sad for babies who are left alone at night.

    Four things you should be doing: Breast-feeding, co-sleeping, baby-carrier, and picking up baby ASAP when crying. That equals a great attachment mama

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    818

    Default Re: Baby sleeps in crib and I feel bad

    the couch is not safe for cosleeping. he should go sleep on the couch. when dh started up about her not letting him sleep he moved into the guest room.
    Christine
    Can't believe I've been and a full-time SAHM to Elena (5/2010) for over 2 yrs!
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  6. #26
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
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    middle of IA
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    Default Re: Baby sleeps in crib and I feel bad

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*oakdryad5 View Post
    the couch is not safe for cosleeping. he should go sleep on the couch. when dh started up about her not letting him sleep he moved into the guest room.
    yes yes yes.
    DS1 6/7/11
    DS2 10/29/13

    Nursing, pumping, cloth-diapering, babywearing, working professor mama with the awesomest SAHD ever.

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
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    24

    Default Re: Baby sleeps in crib and I feel bad

    Wonderful article:

    http://www.breastfeeding.com/reading...amily_bed.html

    Ask bf to please read this!! I think every new parent should It makes me feel sooo good that we're doing the right thing by our daughter. She *never* cries at night. *Ever*. I think that speaks volumes.

  8. #28

    Default Re: Baby sleeps in crib and I feel bad

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*jklinsky View Post
    Good advice, I agree with your last comment because the other day I tried to lay down in bed with her in the early morning and he said not to, and asked if I would go to the couch, he says he can't sleep well with her there.
    Oh heavens. this is a perfect example of how discouraging bed sharing actually leads to the very unsafe practice of a parent sleeping/falling asleep with baby on a couch or a chair or a recliner.

    Your bf is probably scared of one of you overlying on and smothering the baby. But entrapment-baby getting body or head or face trapped in a crevice or between a parent and something-for example, the back of a couch or arm of a recliner) is far, far more of an issue and entrapment is much, much more likely on a couch than on a flat bed. (And SIDS, which refers to an unexplained sudden death of a baby, has nothing to do with where a baby sleeps. SIDS just happens-although of course there are practices that make it less likely, such as, breastfeeding, sleeping in close proximity to baby, not smoking, and placing baby on his or her back to sleep. But it’s no wonder your bf is confused, as no one gets this right, and people blame SIDS on bedsharing all the time.)

    Bedsharing can be done safely but you must know how and there are exceptions when bedsharing is unsafe (one parent is a smoker, bed is shared by a non-biological parent, one parent is impaired by drugs, sleep inducing medications or alcohol, etc.) When you bed share, is baby between you and dad or on the other side of you? On the other side of you is considered safer. Please read up on safe bedsharing guidelines before sleeping with your baby.

    But if you can safely bedshare (or, as an alternative) co-sleep (with baby in your room in a crib or sidecare co-sleeper) that often means way more sleep for mom and ESPECIALLY for dad.
    Last edited by @llli*lllmeg; September 3rd, 2012 at 01:44 PM.

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    California
    Posts
    418

    Default Re: Baby sleeps in crib and I feel bad

    We coslept with our son until he was about 4-5 months old, then he got too big and squirmy and nobody was getting any sleep. At that point we moved him into the crib in his nursery, which is right next to our bedroom. When he was young even a peep from him would wake me immediately although that instinct has grown less acute as he's gotten a little older, so now we have a baby monitor in our bedroom just to be certain we hear him. He still usually wakes 2x per night, once before we go to bed and once in the wee hours of the morning, but I just get up and nurse him and put him back in his crib and it works ok for us. I'm tired, but I don't know how we could keep him in bed with us now that he's so big and crawling. By the time we moved him out of our bed, he was keeping both me and DH up all night by his squirming and kicking so I don't think that would be any better for us, sleep wise. Plus he nursed all night when he was in bed and now he does fine with just 2 feedings per night which is easier for me.

    On a side note, those of you who co-sleep with older babies, do you all have king beds on the floor or what? We have a queen bed and no way is there room for me, DH, and our 10 month old DS in there all night long. Plus, now that he's crawling, I'd be very concerned about him crawling over the edge of the bed. I'm unwilling to kick DH out of bed and the crib works fine for us so I'm happy with our situation but I'm just wondering how you all do it? Does DH sleep somewhere else and you share the bed with baby? Do you put your mattress on the floor or how do you deal with the potential for falling out of bed? Just curious. Thanks!
    First-time mama to Joshua, 10/29/11. 29 months and going strong! for 14 months; now finished with pump weaning!

  10. #30
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    middle of IA
    Posts
    1,885

    Default Re: Baby sleeps in crib and I feel bad

    queen bed on the floor for me, DS and dog. DH sleeps in his own room (or really, on the couch most of the time). but we generally didn't share a bed or the same sleep schedule pre-baby, either.
    DS1 6/7/11
    DS2 10/29/13

    Nursing, pumping, cloth-diapering, babywearing, working professor mama with the awesomest SAHD ever.

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