I took my daughter in for a shot visit today and tried nursing to calm her down, and she wasn't having it. It broke my heart that I couldn't soothe her. I gave her a pacifier and it calmed her down some, and my husband held her, and she was fine. I'm pretty sure it's because I have an overactive letdown. Literally, she was screaming, and milk was shooting from my breast into her face. That doesn't sound soothing, right? My left breast (the super producer) was slightly engorged this morning, but since we had to wake her up earlier than usual, I figured it was OK because I'd be able to nurse her at the doctor. I guess that was probably my mistake.
Anyway, my daughter often struggles at the breast, and usually I notice it midday around lunch. I work away from home, and my husband bottle feeds pumped milk in the morning and afternoon. She struggles with breastfeeding at lunch, and then it's usually okay when I get home in the evenings (though not always). I let her nurse side-lying from around 3 or 4 AM until I get up for work around 7:45. Usually that's okay, though sometimes she struggles with gas and spitup if I don't sit up and burp her.
So, this morning's feeding at the doctor wasn't typical of her feeding schedule, but it just makes me so sad when she fights it, and I haven't really seen milk squirt into her face since maybe the first month when my breasts were still engorged. I've been confused about the lunchtime feedings lately, almost wondering if I didn't have a letdown because she'll latch on and start pulling and kind of growling and moaning like she's not getting anything. Then she arches her back and fusses like she's in pain. This fussiness at lunch is a little more recent. I think I've gone through that 3 month hormone shift because my breasts are finally a little less swollen, and my left breast which is normally like Old Faithful is a lot less leaky, so I've worried that my supply or let down has been affected. But now I'm wondering if I always have an overactive letdown. I can't feel my letdown, so that makes thinks harder to decipher.
I'm not sure what to do since we've made it to 3 months, and my supply is supposed to have regulated itself. I'm also petrified of doing something to make it go away since my sister had supply issues.
I am feeling like a failure of a mom since I can't soothe my sweet baby at my breast when she needs it.