17 month old throwing tantrums to nurse

[@llli*simi.me]

Hi

I nurse my 17 month old on demand. On an average we nurse 3 to 4 times from 6 pm to 7 am. Since last week he has become very demanding and has started to throw terrible tantrums asking to nurse. He has started asking this at all sort of weird situations like in the car, just about to leave home to day care etc. He pulls my dress, slaps me, scratches me etc during the tantrums. Seems to me like he does not have patience even for me to walk over to couch. He has started doing this even in front of strangers. I am not sure what is causing him to do this. I have never refused to nurse when he asks.

Is this common? I would love to nurse him as long as he wants but do not want such embarrassing situations. How to overcome this situation?

[@llli*mommal]

Tantrums are embarrassing! But they're so normal at this age. Everyone talks about the "terrible twos" but they forget to mention the awful ones and appalling threes!

You're right that your LO has no patience. Delaying gratification, waiting- those are skills that he is still just developing. A lot of it has to do with language. A 17 month old is probably working on acquiring his basic vocabulary. Cause and effect concepts like "If you can wait until the car stops, I will nurse you" or "If you stop screaming, we will go sit down on the couch and nurse" are probably beyond him right now. But communicating those concepts to him is the first step to dealing with the problem. He may not understand the "A leads to B" connection yet, but he will eventually see that he does get what he wants if he just waits for a second. Distraction and substitution are also useful techniques- if your toddler is screaming about X, try offering him Y. He's screaming because he wants to nurse? Try saying "Hey, look over there, I see a picture of Elmo!" or "Oooh, I think there are apple slices in the fridge. Let's go eat some!" or "Oh wow, look, there's a toy under the couch! Let's get it together!" Keep it as positive and light as possible and pretty much ignore the tantrum. A head-to-head clash over his behavior will get you nowhere. But ignoring the behavior will teach him that it's not effective. If he's hitting, scratching, and pulling, I think the best thing to do is to walk away if possible, while communicating things like "No hitting, hurts mama" and "If you can give me nice touches, we can nurse, but not if you scratch me".

[@llli*esthervegan]

I would try to be as patient as humanly possible during my lo's tantrum/demanding episodes. as his language skills develop he will
gain more control over his outbursts.
But i would draw the line at allowing my LO to kick or scratch me. for me, that sort of behavior needed to be nipped in the bud.
I would have to remind myself to make eye contact while trying to repair an undesirable behavior.
For us, eye contact really helped tone down an out of control tantrum.

[@llli*jayvidsmommy2011]

I can relate. My 17 month old wants "mommy juice" on demand. But typically not in public. Its a security thing for my LO. He also pitches tantrams if I tell him no. I also have a very low patience level with him due to the "terrible twos". We are in the process of weaning, but I can tell you that it is becoming a very long process.