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Thread: Please help, having doubts and second guessing things!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    18

    Default Please help, having doubts and second guessing things!

    Hi, just joined, and can really use some help: first time mom here.
    A little back ground: my daughter was born 7lbs 12oz 20 inches long.
    She is 3 months old, and 4 days and on Monday, August 6th, she weighed 11lbs 10oz. Lactation consultant said she is not getting in enough calories and to supplement with formula. I tried several times and only once or twice did she accept the formula..she basically hated it. I doubted myself thinking my supply was low. I was taking progestin only birth control pills and not feeling like my let down was as fast as it normally was. My daughter would suck for a few minutes, sometimes several before getting milk and actually move her jaw up and down. She would sometimes get fussy and mad when milk would not come out. After her weigh in, I was more scared than ever so I started Fenugreek capsules and went off of my birth control pills. Milk supply seems to be doing better. Now, I am dealing with what I am assuming is teething or a growth spurt. My daughter for the past 4 days has not pooped. She seems fussy, irritable, uncomfortable, and just plain ol miserable. At times, she is happy content and her normal self. I have been giving her colic calm for her gas and lack of bowel movements, and I have been giving her hylands teething gel. She is constantly gnawing at her hands and yesterday she was fussy on the breast..I assumed she was in pain. She has never pulled away and screamed so much while trying to feed her. Well today seems to be a little better, she is sleeping more soundly...actually going on an hour nap right now, and has been eating fine. Still gnawing at the hands and drooling like crazy but I gave her some gel and some colic calm. Any advice as to what this may be? I don't know what to make of it...usually when she wants something she gets it and is happy...this time it seems like the last 2-3 days there were times when she fought to eat, fought to sleep, fought to do pretty much anything unless you walked around with her on your shoulder. Last night she had a crying spell non stop for about 15 minutes..again this is not like her. What do you ladies think? Growth spurt? Teething? abdominal pain? blockage? I am driving myself crazy trying to figure this out...and my lactation consultant recommends formula..I want to EBF and that is that. Any suggestions for increasing milk supply, etc would be very appreciated. Thanks so much in advance!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    284

    Default Re: Please help, having doubts and second guessing things!

    Sorry im going to ask a few more questions Has your pedi expressed concern over your daughters weight gain? Can you post any other I between weights? Is she meeting all her milestones? How is her diaper count?

    To me 3#14oz seems like adequate weight gain over 12 weeks that's an average of 5 oz a week which I think is on the lower end of normal but still normal. What kind of build are you and DDs daddy? My babies tend to be bigger but DH and I are both bigger built people.


    Sorry this is kind of all over the place I'm on my phone.
    Married to my High School sweetheart 5-15-04

    SAHM to:
    born 6/1/10 tongue and lip ties nursed 13 months with sore nipples and mutually agreed it was time to quit!
    born all natural 1/27/12 nursed for 16 months and lost interest
    1/1/14
    born all natural 11/4/14 nursing like a champ and growing like a weed!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    18

    Default Re: Please help, having doubts and second guessing things!

    She went from 65% at 1 month to 35% at 2 month check up and doc said nothing to worry about we will do a weight check again at 3 months. At 3 months she dropped again from 35% and is lingering a little above 25%.
    At birth 7lbs 12oz
    3 days old 7lbs 8.3oz
    1 month 9lbs 9.7oz 20 1/2 inches long
    2 month 10lbs 12oz 21 3/4 inches long
    3 months 11lbs 10oz They did not record height at this appt.

    My husband and I are both shorter with medium build. I am 5'3 and he is 5'9. We are both a little over weight.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    18

    Default Re: Please help, having doubts and second guessing things!

    She is meeting all of her mile stones and developmentally on target.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    50

    Default Re: Please help, having doubts and second guessing things!

    I don't pretend to be a medical expert or anything! But...

    I just wanted to share that screaming and arching away from the breast was "normal" for my DD who finally settled in and started nursing calmly a couple weeks into the 3rd month.

    The only thing I found that worked well was baby wearing. I'd bounce around the house with her in the Ergo + Infant Insert singing loudly, doing laundry, folding diapers, straightening or whatever, and that would calm her.

    You can make yourself crazy trying to figure out the "why". I just gave up and called it "colic" and did everything I could to calm her.

    I know that doesn't answer your questions about getting enough, but just know that lots of babies are inexplicably irritable during that age. And yes - the signs you mentioned certainly make me think of teething (note - teething doesn't necessarily mean you'll see a tooth tomorrow - it's discomfort from the tooth working its way through the tissue inside)

    Sounds like you're doing the right things!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    21,355

    Default Re: Please help, having doubts and second guessing things!

    Based on the weights you've posted and on the other information, it doesn't seem like there's much of a problem here. Your baby is a smaller baby, which makes sense because she has smaller parents. She is consistently gaining weight, and you've ditched the birth control pills (smart move!). Not pooping every day is normal after 6 weeks (breastfed babies often go as much as a week between bowel movements). How many times a day is baby nursing? Is she being fed on demand, and if so, how many times a day does she nurse? Does she sleep through the night?

    To me, it sounds like your baby is either teething or is uncomfortable for some other reason. I'd take her in to the doc and have her ears checked.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    18

    Default Re: Please help, having doubts and second guessing things!

    Sorry it took so long to right back. So my darling daughter finally had a big ol green poop 3 days after not pooping. And today she pooped a little bit again. Just not used to this because she has always been a regular pooper but I know things change as they get older..I am so used to following routine! Having a baby means being very flexible, and so I am learning lol
    Yes, I do agree she is a bit smaller than most babies I have seen around her age, but she does not look thin...she is a little chunky for her size even though she is petite..if that makes any sense. She is not fussing so much on the breast anymore..I really think it was a combination of teething and discomfort from not pooping. She does however let me know when she has had enough to eat. She pulls away, pushes away, turns her head and screams if I try to force her back onto my breast...again this is a new thing she is doing, but my little girl is obviously getting bigger and is communicating differently with me these days.
    mommal- I am seeing the doctor at her 4 month check up on August 30th and they will check her ears. She has been much happier the last 2 days. She eats about 6 times per day. She has 3 distinctive eating patterns. She eats on one breast, eats on both breasts, or eats on one breast and takes the other one within the hour. She eats roughly every 3 hours..she eats on demand. Sleeps through the night from about 8/9-5ish. Then eats 3 hours after that, and then we are usually awake for the day.

    My milk supply has gotten better since stopping birth control pills. But now I don't know what to do about contraceptives! I really hate condoms. Any suggestions?

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    21,355

    Default Re: Please help, having doubts and second guessing things!

    All the barrier methods are safe. I personally have used a diaphragm and spermicide combo successfully for almost 15 years- I'll be happy to run the pros and cons of that if you're interested.

    Another option that's on the table would be the copper IUD (ParaGard).

    Proportionality is really important when you're looking at a baby. When height and weight percentiles are roughly matching, that implies that a baby is the right weight for her height- though of course there are non-proportional (i.e. short, fat babies or tall, thin ones) who are also perfectly healthy!
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    18

    Default Re: Please help, having doubts and second guessing things!

    I would be happy to hear the pros and cons of anything at this point. I have always been a pill girl and am sad to have stopped it because of milk supply but I am open to trying anything other than condoms and that of course will not affect my milk supply in any way shape or form.
    I see the pedi on August 30th and am a bit nervous for her weigh in. All jokes aside, when I came home from her weigh in I felt like a new mother all over again who was incompetent at raising her daughter..I really had to sit back and reassess everything that was said to me and I know more than ever that I want to EBF no matter what it takes. No formula for my little one...please no formula lol

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    21,355

    Default Re: Please help, having doubts and second guessing things!

    Pros of a diaphragm:
    - Can be inserted well ahead of time, allowing for increased spontaneity
    - Generally cannot be felt by either partner once inserted
    - Relatively inexpensive
    - Effective (something like 90% effective when used perfectly)
    - Will not impact milk supply, mood, or libido
    - Allows couple to enjoy the "skin on skin" feeling

    Cons:
    - Must be resized after significant weight gain/loss
    - Not appropriate for women with multiple partners
    - Spermicide tastes bad, and some people find it irritating
    - Some women experience more frequent UTIs when using a diaphragm (so I hear- I've been using one for a long time but haven't had a UTI since I was a little kid)
    - Not a good choice for a couple who want to have intercourse multiple times a day (it cannot be worn continuously)
    - Requires a woman to be comfortable with her own anatomy- she has to insert the diaphragm into her own vagina and check its position with her finger
    - Requires some practice to master- the first few times you use a diaphragm it may spring out of your hands and go flying across the room
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

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