Worried, need help

[@llli*katwoman24]

FTM here. A little background, then onto my questions.

My little girl is almost 12 weeks old and is in the 97th percentile. Hubby is 6'5 and I'm 5'10, tall baby!

She's been EBF since birth and I recently went back to work full time on July 16th. She's been in daycare since then.

I pump at work and nurse when I get home and anytime I'm with her.

I told the DCP to use paced bottle feeding and not to feed her 30 minutes prior to me getting there. Or if she had to, only a tiny portion. I posted on this forum previously and was told baby would never really need more than 3-4 ozs at a feeding, period. That breastmilk consistency changes as the baby grows to accomodate their growing size.

Here are my concerns:
- I get to DCP today to pick her up, she has a bottle in her mouth and they told me she just downed 6.5 ozs!! There was even some left in the bottle! I know she's probably going through a growth spurt, but doesn't this seem like a lot? Leads to my next concern...
-Overfeeding. I don't know how I feel about this. If she wasn't hungry, she wouldn't eat right? She's happy and growing, should I really even be worried about this?
- How should I talk to my DCP about not feeding her shortly before I arrive? I want to be able to nurse her right when I get home. Not sure how to approach this.

Thank you for your feedback. I know these are probably just FTM worries and I'm overreacting, but I have no one to talk to about this.

Thanks!

[@llli*aphimama]

How are you packaging the milk? As in, what quantity? Are you sending 6+ oz. bottles or are they combining them in order to get that quantity?

As for not feeding her before you get there. Just be direct. If you're able, calling to let them know you are on your way helps because then they know that even if she's hungry that you could always feed her as soon as you get there so there's need to give her a bottle. You shouldn't even have to do that though. If you have a steady schedule and they know when to expect you, it should be as easy as telling them not to feed her beyond a certain time. Otherwise, depending on how you are already sending milk in, I would send a small (1oz-2oz tops) bottle for an emergency bottle if they absolutely NEED to give her something lest she may starve. This is obviously unlikely, but may get them to be more cooperative. `

[@llli*katwoman24]

I've been doing 4-4.45 oz bags, as thats what I thought she was getting per feeding. DCP said she kept acting hungry so I guess they've upped her bottle size by combining bags.

I have been sending top off portions, or mommy is almost here portions, like 1.5, 2, and 3 oz bags like you said.

[@llli*aphimama]

Then I'd go over with them again what your desires are. There's no reason for them to be both overfeeding AND feeding her that much right before you get there. I know it's easier said than done as the mom, but FWIW as a former childcare provider I would never gone against what a mother was instructing me to do. You may need to make a note to go in her bottle section of the fridge in case it's a different caregiver in there at a certain time, but they should be following your instructions on feeding. Especially not combining the bags. Maybe waiting a while and trying other methods then using the top off portions, but not just combining bags from the get-go.

[@llli*katwoman24]

I agree. Thank you. I'm just not a very forward person, lol. So I guess in my little fantasy world, everything would work out perfectly and I'd never have to go over all this with them again. Just a little nervous, I know I'm paying them but I just don't want my LO to be affected by it. I'm a worry wort. :P

Jc, do you think babies can be overfed? I mean, if she's full, she stops eating......right?

[@llli*phi]

Jc, do you think babies can be overfed? I mean, if she's full, she stops eating......right?

That's only true for breastfeeding (as in nursing at the breast). Breastfed babies cannot be overfed. However, babies cannot stop a bottle from leaking milk into their mouths and they must drink or they will choke. It is very common for babies to be overfed by bottles. A 6.5 ounce bottle of breastmilk is overfeeding any way you look at it.

[@llli*rakoonz]

Overfed at the breast=impossible. Overfed by bottle=possible. Baby is full but just wants to suck for comfort, well at the breast the milk flow slows or stops as her suckling pattern changes. With the bottle, it's drink or drown whether she's hungry or seeking comfort.
Perhaps they could try a pacifier if it seems like she's wanting to suck but has just had a whole bottle? (I'm a SAHM so take that idea with a grain of salt. But I don't think that would cause problems, right?) I think you should definitely go over it again with them, couldn't hurt to printout another of the paced feeding worksheets as a reminder for them.

[@llli*katwoman24]

thats what i thought when she said 6.5 ozs!!! i was shocked! and there was milk left in the bottle! so she probably prepped an 8 oz bottle. just seems wasteful to me. i was thinking starting with 4-4.5 ozs and trying a paci after that to see if that works.

i'm just hoping they are receptive to my concerns as my lo is happy and growing but i don't want her to be overfed and spitting up, etc.

[@llli*lidarose]

Daycares here have to have a written sheet signed by parent or guardian detailing your exact desires for feeding that is updated on a monthly basis for infants. I find it makes things very clear, and if they don't follow it, you have a good point of reference. For instance, it might say "My baby is fed breastmilk only, 3oz at a time. I want him woken after 3 hours if napping for feeding, with his last feeding no later than 4 pm." I usually give them the maximum amount he might want (1.5oz per hour), andy they almost always end up with an extra bottle. I package the bottles exactly as I detail in the form.

[@llli*katwoman24]

@lidarose, I like that idea! This is an in-home daycare so I don't know if it can be that formal. But I did put my desires on paper with a sheet she gave me to fill out about my LO, and when/how I want her fed. I filled that out and mentioned it to her in person. I definitely want her to be fed on demand, but not fed just because she gets fussy. Which I think sometimes happens in daycare settings. I give her the bags of milk and she keeps the bottles to wash.

I think the issue is the way she's feeding her. My hubby said he feeds her holding her upright and lets her control the flow, and she never has issues with 3.5-4 oz bottles.

I just want to make sure I come across in a good way to the DCP and not like I'm being rude or demanding. However, we are paying them and they are running a business. Just want to have an amicable relationship.