Reaching the end of my rope :(
Help! My LO is a month old today, and BF has been a nightmare from the beginning. Charlotte was born full term via C/S and my requests to nurse immediately in the OR or recovery were ignored by hospital staff. When she was finally brought to me an hour and a half after she was born, the recovery nurse handed me my baby, grabbed my breast and shoved it in Charlotte's face. She kept trying to force my nipple into Charlotte's mouth for the next ten minutes, then proclaimed I had flat nipples and she couldn't help me :/. When I was moved to the PP floor, the same nurse brought formula to the room and informed me that since I was "unable to nurse", I would have to FF. My plan had been to EBF, so out of the gate I was discouraged from doing so. I did refuse the formula at first and continued to try to nurse, but Charlotte just would not latch. She screamed...violently and repeatedly, so much so that the new mother in the room next door complained about the noise and demanded I "shut that baby up" (yes, her exact words, as I could hear her through the wall). Because of that, the nurse threatened to take my daughter to the nursery against my wishes and FF her if I did not do it. I was still looped out on painkillers and exhausted after the emergency C/S that followed 25 hours of all-natural labor, and I was afraid of the repercussions of arguing further, so I agreed :/. She ate like a champ and was perfectly content afterward. This continued the entire stay in the hospital, as the nurses were mostly pro-FF for the ease of it, and the LC wasn't available to talk to me for days after Charlotte was born. She wasn't much help, either--showed me the football hold, gave me a nipple shield, got Charlotte to latch once and left it at that.
Since we came home, we've been FFing more than nursing, sadly, because Charlotte continues to have trouble with nursing. She screams and cries so hard and so loudly that she is physically incapable of latching at times. She completely refuses the left breast and will only occasionally latch on the right with the nipple shield. She gets absolutely hysterical...to the point the she kicks, punches, even forces her head back and away from my breast. Her screams are nearly bloodcurdling, and I can't stand to hear and see her like that. It breaks my heart, but I'm thisclose to throwing in the towel because it is too hard to try to force her to do something she obviously does not want to do. I cry over it every day. She eats great from the bottle, so I pump and supplement with formula, and she's healthy and gaining. Her ped has no idea why she reacts the way she does, and neither do I. Getting her to latch is often a two to four person job...I hold my breast while others hold and position my child. We've tried every position known to man to no avail. I've talked to my local LLL leader and she has come to my house to help. When she's here and she, my husband and I all work at it, after 30 minutes Charlotte will latch and nurse for 5-10 minutes before she pulls off and starts fighting again. I just don't know what else to do. I can't imagine continuing to put my sweet baby through what looks like incredible torture.
Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions? I'm devastated but almost ready to give up.
Bria (32) & Thomas (29) Married since 9/18/10
Princess Charlotte Grace born 6/23/12!
Three precious furbabies: Sam (8), Joy (5) and Emma (4)