16 month old using me as a pacifier

[@llli*rustie.nielsen]

Help! I dont know if I can change this now but my 16 month old is using me as a pacifier. He refuses a pacifier of any kind. He originally sucked his thumb but no longer soothes himself that way. We do co-sleep and he wants to suck throughout the night, about every 2 hours. Any ideas how to get him to stop?? He screams bloody murder and will not stop until I give in.

[@llli*manatee]

Sorry you're having a hard time. I just want to say first that that phrase, using you as a pacifier, is a pet peeve of mine. A pacifier, or thumb, is a substitute for mom, a diversion of a child's natural urge to suckle. Using you as a pacifier sounds like abnormal behavior, but it's not.

I'd bet he's teething. Nursing is a natural form of pain relief and comfort for them. I'd also check for constipation, my LO had a lot of night time discomfort from constipation. If it's not constipation, try administering pain meds and see how you get through the night. I found ibuprofen worked best, and for bad pain, you can stagger ibu and Tylenol.

[@llli*aprilsmagic]

teething. Or meeting another milestone. Your baby isn't using you for a pacifier. Your baby is meeting a need in the most natural way possible....by nursing and being close to mama. It's sweet.

[@llli*rustie.nielsen]

Thank you for the replies ladies. My LO has always wanting me to sooth him because I don't think he knows how to sooth himself even when he isn't teething. I stay at home with him 24/7. My husband sleeps in the babies room, which works for us. I do not get enough sleep because of this issue. I just dont know if there is some other way to sooth him besides weaning him.

[@llli*mommal]

Well, there's complete weaning, day-weaning, and there's night-weaning. A 16 month old baby is old enough for any of these 3 options. Night-weaning might get you more sleep while enabling you to retain nursing as a mothering tool during the day, and for me that represents the best of both worlds. Night-weaning almost always means accepting some increased disruption of your sleep for a while, and I'm not going to lie: it usually means some crying on your child's part.

If you want tips on night-weaning, let us know.

[@llli*rustie.nielsen]

Absolutely want tips on night-weaning, Please

[@llli*mommal]

Night weaning tips:
- Choose the right pajamas. If you wear easy-access pjs, try something that covers better. Baby may be more likely to go back to sleep without nursing if he can't get his hands on your goodies.
- Have a sippy cup or bottle of water available for nighttime. A night-waking toddler may be genuinely thirsty.
- Have realistic expectations. Devoted night-nursers usually don't give up without a struggle, so this is not likely to be a tears-free experience for either one of you! Also, night-weaning often means that you may get even less sleep for a while, as you and your baby make a big adjustment. And you may not be able to cut out all baby's feedings- you may continue to need to nurse once a night for a while.
- Get help. If daddy or grandma can out baby to bed, or attend to a night-waking, it may be easier for you and baby because baby KNOWS daddy/grandma cannot nurse him, and doesn't expect it.
- Communicate. A 16 month-old can probably understand simple phrases like "We are not nursing now. It's nighttime. Nighttime is sleep time. We'll nurse again in the morning". After a successful night of not nursing, remind baby of what he should be expecting: "It's morning! Sleep is over. Time to nurse!"
- Try putting baby to bed nursed and drowsy but still awake. If you typically nurse baby all the way to sleep, he will likely object to being put down when he's not completely asleep, and may bounce back up and demand more nursing. But you don't have to nurse him. Just sit down by his crib, reassuring him with your presence and maybe a gentle back rub or a lullaby. He'll fall asleep on his own eventually, and that should help set the pattern of falling asleep solo for the rest of the night. As time goes on, you can start edging away from the crib, sitting in a chair in baby's room, and then in the doorway, and then in the hall.