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Thread: Brestfeeding in public(long)

  1. #11

    Default Re: Brestfeeding in public(long)

    Thank you all so much. I wont ever let anyone keep me from breast feeding my son when needed. I know my parents are both supper supportive as well. I just wish my husband wasn't such a huge stick in the mud over it. For a while he complained that I was all ways feeding our son and I was going to make him over weight. I pointed out our son was 13 pounds and my friends son who's 1 month older and FF is 20 pounds. So even though I BF every hour and half to two hours depending on our sons choice he is not over weight hes very healthy. He finally stopped with that but last night he was telling me at a memorial for someone in his unit a lady started breast feeding right there and how so many felt that was so wrong. It started a hole debate of how he felt that she should have left or given the child a bottle where I saw no issue with it. I told him that here in CA. I could feed our son uncovered if I wished it and theres nothing him or anyone eles could do about it. He feels that men will hit on me for showing my breast I tired to point out that uncovered i wouldn't be showing any more really than if i was to have a low cut shirt on that his son would be blocking out a lot if it and women at the beach would be showing a ton more skin than I would be. I pointed out that I do feed in public covered but now his son is older and refuses to be covered what am I going to do tell our 5 month old sorry your going to have to starve because you wont keep the cover over us and daddy will get up mad if you pull it off. We than went around and around about bottle v breast again. I know I didnt get my point across but 2 am phone call I am not at the top of my game So I hope when he and i are able to talk again I can get him on board with this as well. Sorry for the long rant. I am very thankful to have everyone here who do BF who can answer silly questions and are sooooooooooo supportive. Just knowing there are others out there helps a lot in standing my ground on my choice to BF. You all have also helped make the choice to BF for as long as my son wants to easier knowing so many of you have BF for longer than 6 months and even a year helps me see how I am not alone in wanting the very best for my son and I.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    1,293

    Default Re: Brestfeeding in public(long)

    hi mama. just wanted to say i agree with wearing clothes that you feel comfortable nursing in and practicing at home is good too.

    try not to worry and look at your lo if you feel nervous at first.

    you are a great mom, doing a great thing for your little one. that's awesome! nothing to feel self conscious about at all.

    other people have a lot of their own issues and it's unfortunate that they try to dump their insecurities and misunderstanding on others.

    you are right about people at the beach wearing very little. although this is not completely related to your initial question i thought it would make you smile:

    my son is 16 months old and we were at the beach under an umbrella nursing laying down. i doubt anyone had any idea, it probably looked like i was trying to get him to sleep. anyway, while he was nursing i didnt realize he was playing with my bikini bottom string. when i stood up my bikini bottom fell off

    i fell to the blanket as fast as i could and laughed because i had been nervous about my breasts showing while we nursing and then that happened. i would much rather have my breast show a little than my butt sticking out for the whole world to see. not to mention the lifeguard was about 10 feet behind our blanket


    sometimes we just need a bit of perspective to appreciate ourselves and a little more. try to be proud of yourself while you are NIP

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    98

    Default Re: Brestfeeding in public(long)

    just a little tip since everyone has already given you great advice and encouragement: at my local WIC office they have these business cards with the breastfeeding law printed on them. you might stop by your WIC office and ask for a few (I'm sure they'd give you some even if you don't receive WIC) and then you can just whip one out and hand it someone if they ever give you a hard time!
    I'm a dreadlock wearing lucky SAHM to Sabeen Hunter (1/08/11) and wife to my sweet husband Amin.
    Love

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    California
    Posts
    30

    Default Re: Brestfeeding in public(long)

    Hi momma! I first read your post last night and couldnt wait to read everyones input! I am bf for the first time, and my lo just turned 5 months yesterday. I still get nervous about NIP. Ive only done it a few times and oh boy its a challenge for me. For one Im so used to using my pillow i cant seem to get comfy wout it. Second i have large breast too and have to support my breast when lo is eating. Ive tried nursing w my moby but i cant seem to get it just right. So today we were @ target and it happened. He started fussing cause he was hungry and i just had to suck it up amd do it. It was akward and nerve wreking at first. I started sweating and getting nervous,he was crying, i couldnt get him on, people were walking by...and then it happened. He latched on and I was NIP, walking and was able to transfer money between my accounts on my cell lol. My oldest daughter didnt even realize what i was doing! DH saw and smiled, he even gave one guy a mean look who seemed to be trying to figuere out what I was doing! Lol! Im really lucky that he is very supportive. After telling him that your hubby was frowning that baby was always on the boob he said this: "does he know that bf babies digest milk faster because its higher in nutrients and they also drink it in smaller quantities more often than bottlefed babies? They also use it for comfort. He should be supporting his wife not not giving her a hard time" lol i actually went and gave him a kiss after that!
    I am so blessed!

    08-31-01
    02-13-12


    2 's in heaven

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    5,744

    Default Re: Brestfeeding in public(long)

    He feels that men will hit on me for showing my breast
    Oh if only. LOL!

    Some LLL groups have couples meetings, and Dr. Sears has a nice book out just for dads, Fathers First Steps. Personally, as a Leader I take calls from dads who think a baby can nurse too much or there is some other breastfeeding issue they are concerned about. (btw Formula fed babies have a higher risk of obesity than breastfed babies.)

    I would suggest not arguing over and over. Give your husband info on breastfeeding so he can educate himself if he chooses, and, unless it is going to cause a public argument, just nurse when you need to. Just as NIP makes moms nervous when they first do it, it often makes many dads nervous to, until they see that the vast majority of people on earth have their own concerns and neither notice nor care how people feed their infants.

    Some articles that may help(?)

    http://www.llli.org/docs/00000000000...t_partners.pdf

    http://www.llli.org/docs/00000000000...tgoodsense.pdf

  6. #16

    Default Re: Brestfeeding in public(long)

    My husband is over the hole you feed him 2 much when I started comparing our sons weight to our friends kids who are FF. He finally saw that our son isn't being hurt by eating any time he wants. This is his first child so everything is still so new to him. The fact he lives stationed over seas in Germany also is hard for him to see that when I do NIP that I am covered for the most part. I think he sees it in his head as I just pull my shirt half way off and my hole breast is just out there on display.That guys will hit on me or god knows what. I know once he is here he will get over the hole me NIP because he will see its not like hes thinking.That ya I have had some guys stare at me as I NIP. When my son was smaller I didnt think twice about taking my daughter to the park I could lay on a blanket with my son and if he wanted to eat use one of his blankets to cover the hole thing. At first I did feel a little exposed most of all when this one guy wouldn't stop staring.I felt so uncomfortable I finally said " I you hoping that if you stare hard enough that the blanket will slide off or you could see though it" He turned so red and walked away. Now that hes my son is older and hates to be covered I am more nervous about NIP. I just need to face my little fears of the new challenges that have come with NIP. We dont really argue over and over about things that have come up normally I can show him all the info of why this or that when it comes to BF but the NIP is something he will just have to be here for to see its not how is imagining it to be. That very little can be seen that ya some people do glance and that's it. There is that small handful that stare at you. That guys dont come up and hit on me because I am breast feeding. That it truly beautiful and natural thing that is not some dirty perverse act that our society seems to make it to be. I truly think once he is here he will not make a big deal out of it most of all since he wont have all the guys in the unit that are not married or dont have kids filling his head with how wrong NIP is .
    Last edited by @llli*sweetdarling1983; July 15th, 2012 at 12:13 PM.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Geneva, Switzerland
    Posts
    32

    Default Re: Brestfeeding in public(long)

    I also have large breasts and at the beginning it was difficult for me to handle my LO while BF because I needed to hold his head and my breast at the same time (my breast was bigger than his head...) plus I had OALD so I was also occasionally spraying LO with my milk... so I know how you feel because I felt like that, but after one month of staying at home I decided it was time to go out of the "BF closet". A friend suggested the tank top technique and now I always wear one below my regular shirt this way I pull up my shirt and cover the upper part of my breast but stay covered below with the tank top, so I almost have only the nipple coming out. This is very discreet plus you can have a muslin to covery a little bit more but without covering your baby's face (my LO also hated to be covered).
    But honestly what helped me the most was staying focused on my LO and enjoy what I was doing and FORGET about everyone else, this really helped. I can't even tell you if I have gotten any bad looks or not because I just simply pay NO attention to that.
    Don't let others limit your BF rights!!! and give it a try please!

  8. #18
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Manhattan, KS...for now.
    Posts
    143

    Default Re: Brestfeeding in public(long)

    I am one of those women who was...is...incredibly self-conscious and had...have...a fear of NIP. I don't dress flashy anyways, what if someone gets a nip peek? Or says something rude (I cry way too easily for an adult ).

    To date, I have nursed him without a cover on a busy Sunday morning in a grocery store (we even went through the check-out line!), in a Starbucks and just this last Saturday in a sushi bar. HUGE steps for me, since the first time he wanted food and we were shopping I panicked and we left and I couldn't even bring myself to nurse him in the car (we were 8 min from home so don't throw stones!).

    I wear a tank top under my top shirt so I can lift one and expose his nums-nums without baring skin (personal preference) and without "hanging out" (again, personal preference). I wear a scarf so that I can "block" anything I feel might need to be, like the latch-on, but haven't used it to "cover" him while he's eating.

    It's only been a few times, but I've yet to have anyone say anything to me about it.

    I haven't read any other replies, but I'm sure you'll hear, "Don't worry about what people think!" and all that, which is GREAT advice if you have that personality to begin with. My husband is like that, and I know he doesn't understand why I get nervous about feeding my baby in public, but it's something that doesn't come easily to all of us! I have to repeat to myself over and over and over that if he gets hungry while we're shopping, I am more than allowed to feed him without hiding; but I also know that it's okay to go to a remote corner, a fitting room, or even the car if that's the most comfortable at the moment. Yes, we need to increase how many moms are seen NIP so that it's not such a "sight", but on a personal level it may be something you have to practice. Practice in front of a mirror. Practice in a park or even in a store during non-peak hours. Even nursing in your car can help you get over the "spotlight effect" of NIP.

    AND YES, LLL Meetings really do help!!!! It was soooooooooo empowering for me to be in a room full of BF women and babies It helps you realize you're not alone!
    Daniel Keith + Rachel Joy = Leonel Dante [4/13/2012]

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    139

    Default Re: Brestfeeding in public(long)

    You've gotten great suggestions. Keep trying different things till you find what works for you w/o the cover. I use the tank top with shirt over it. Once DS is latch well I use my pinky finger to keep the shirt over the exposed boob. I have to hold my boob just so though so DS will stay latched. He got spoiled So I can't do much of anything while nursing and wraps/slings never worked for us for the same reason. I finally decided if I was going to hang on to my boob regardless I'd just sit down.
    Married to the best husband ever since Nov 2009
    DS born 1/7/12 at 36 wks after PROM and Gestational diabetes happy and healthy ~

    Taking it one day at a time.

    Currently and !!!

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