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Thread: Really extended

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    6

    Default Re: Really extended

    HI
    just want ot offer you a virtual Thumbs Up. I have friends who nursed that long and often and i truly felt they were doing the right thing

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    65

    Default Re: Really extended

    I too have a friend whose son nursed until he was 4. He can tell you "I nursed at my mom's breast until I was 4!" He is a very intelligent, outgoing child who is a pleasure to be around. (He is now 8.) How wonderful that you can continue to meet this need for him!

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    2

    Default Re: Really extended

    Hi ladies,

    Once I had a dream that there was a big, heavy rock on my stomach, pinning me down. Then I woke up and realized it was my son sleeping on me.

    My nursing son is 4 now. He nurses usually every night at bed time. We co-sleep, and love to snuggle. He loves to fall asleep on me, nursing, with his hands tangled in my hair. I love it, too. He is so snuggly! And I am his teddy bear.

    Sometimes I wonder if he'll ever wean, but you keep hearing that eventually they do, and eventually they do sleep in their own beds. (But how?) I haven't really suggested it much because I still enjoy his nursing, too. But I think my husband is finally starting to feel like he is getting a little old to keep nursing like this.

    Fortunately, I live in China where extended nursing is thought of as a wonderful thing, usually. Yes, I also get a lot of people saying, "Are you still nursing?" or, "Breastmilk has no nutritional value after a baby is 6 months or older". But I also often hear things like, "Oh, I was nursed until age 3" as a very positive comment.

    I would like to hear from mothers whose young children weaned themselves from the breast and bed, and see how it happened, naturally.

    --Ivy

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    25

    Default Re: Really extended

    Ivy,
    I am curious; is it Westerners or Chinese who say the 'breast milk has no nutritional value after 6 months'. You hear that quite a bit here in the states, although usually the time frame is 'after a year.

    Her's how we weaned our son to his own bed. He weaned while I was pregnant ((at age 2 years 3 months) but continued to co-sleep. A month or so after that, I had to go sleep in another bed because the waterbed was hurting my back for some reason. Ds and dh continued to co-sleep. When new baby was born, my back still hurt, so I stayed in regular bed with her, and the boys slept on the waterbed. 9 months after dd birth, we moved to my mom's. I went back into the water bed with hubby and baby, and ds ( now age 3 y 4m) went to his own double bed. At firts (2 or 3 weeks) he would wake up and come to our bed. We always let him in. But during the day I would remind him that he can call Daddy, and Daddy will come up to his bed. (We had monitor in his room). After a few weeks, he started doing this.
    So that lasted several months. Then, again during the day, I would say," you know, sometimes instead of calling Daddy, you can try to roll over and go back to sleep on your own. He kept calling my husband, but eventually starting just rolling over and going back to sleep (I guess, because he stopped calling!) So this process took well over 6-9 months, but it was very gentle and not traumatic in the least. To me, the big key is to get them to stay in their own bed, and YOU go to THEM. In the begining,, you have to be really good about going as soon as they call you, don't hope they will go back to sleep on their own. Because if they dont' go back to sleep, they will get up and come tinto your bed.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    18

    Default Re: Really extended

    Ivy, my 4 year old is still nursing - only first thing in the morning now. However, he was "weaned" off nighttime (going to sleep) nursing when he was 16 months, and I used ideas from Elizabeth Pantley's "No Cry Sleep Solution" book. He still nursed to go to sleep for naps until he stopped having them sometime between 3-4yo (I can't remember now, lol!)

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    1,168

    Default Re: Really extended

    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy Makelin
    I would like to hear from mothers whose young children weaned themselves from the breast and bed, and see how it happened, naturally.

    My son's recent weaning from the breast was almost completely child-led. He just stopped asking, for the most part. This was a very, very gradual process, with many twists and turns along the way. One of the first signs, for us, was that nursing no longer put him to sleep. That started first with bedtime when he was two years old, and then with naps when he was three. Somewhere between those two milestones, I stopped nursing when he came into our bed in the night. He cooperated with very mild complaints, and was happy instead to cuddle with Daddy at those time. When he turned four, I gave the weaning process one little nudge, by dropping the bedtime nursing. I told him that Momma was tired and needed to sleep (very true -- I get up at 5 a.m. with our teenager, and by DS's bedtime at 8:30~9 p.m. I am always wiped out), but that he could get up early in the morning and come find me if he wants to nurse. He will often come find me for a cuddle in the morning, but it no longer occurs to him to nurse at that time.

    The really interesting thing to me is that he still likes to touch my breasts, especially the nipples; he just doesn't need to nurse on them any more. And if he hears you say that he is weaned now, he insists that he is NOT weaned because he is not yet 5 years old. But his last nursing was in January! This is so interesting to me, because when my son first started talking, "Five" was always his word for "Plenty" or "Lots." He doesn't use the word that way any longer, but I wonder if somehow in his mind the idea of "five" still coincides with a need being met.

    As for the sleeping, when DS was 2.5 years, we began gently encouraging him to fall asleep alone in his bed. We used a reward system, with "tickets" under his pillow at bedtime, and every time he got out of bed we removed one ticket. If he still had a ticket under his pillow in the morning, he got a reward that was motivating. I confess that I used candy at first for the reward, but later on he could instead understand and be motivated by earning "points" towards a new toy or a trip to our local swimming beach. He still comes into our bed almost every night at some point, but it almost never disturbs our rest, and I really enjoy the early-morning cuddles.

    My stepson, now 16 years old, came into our bed in this way until he was 7 years old, and then he just stopped on his own.

    --Rebecca

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    1,048

    Default Re: Really extended

    "Full term" nursing... I like that!! I'm going to use it. My daughter's turning 2 soon and is definitely on the long road. I myself have hang-ups about nursing toddlers and kids; because of my former ignorance, what I'm used to, etc. And I know that when I'm comfortable with my parenting choices, others are also more comfortable with them too (or at least are less likely to comment negatively, anyway) so this thread has been helpful in preparing me to go as far as dd needs me to with confidence.

    Yeah, while I'm already using things like substitution and delaying, she'll still be nursing to full term. No premie weaner over here.

    Thanks

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    31

    Default Re: Really extended

    Quote Originally Posted by LLLMamaEve
    I'd really like to see some other mothers chime in here and let me know it's normal to nurse a 3, 4, 5 year old so often. Have others had similar nursing experiences? What kind of personalities do these "higher nursing need" children have?

    Seeking solace,
    Eve
    Dear Eve,
    It may help you to hear that I myself was breastfed until about 4-1/4 years. I was an intense child and am an intense adult. Type A, I think they call it.
    My outlook on my own extended period of nursing is reflected in how I am raising my babies. My first weaned at 3+yr and my second is still going strong at 2-1/2 yr.
    In our LLL group, there are loads of mothers b/f older young children - 2, 3, 4, 5 and one mum tandem b/f (occassionally) her 6-1/2 year old along with her 2-1/2 year old. Each LLL group is different. Perhaps yours is made up of mostly new or first time mothers. If there are any other groups near you, you could 'shop around' and see if there are any group with older young nurslings.
    Beth B.
    Mom of 2

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    113

    Default Re: Really extended

    I am so lucky to have 2 very supportive LLL groups to attend, in the initial introduce yourself and your kids I always mention that Konur is 4 years, Mali is a year and a half and I am tandem nursing. Yesterday, I said he is 5, she is almost 2 and I am tandem nursing. We even talked about the benefits of tandem nursing. My good friend and fellow LLLer is nursing her 5.5 year old, and others are nursing 3-4ish year olds so it's not all that unusual.


    I cant relate any stories about weaning from breastfeeding or the family bed as he has not completely weaned from either. He still nurses a few times a day, everyday and sleeps in our room most nights. It works for us and my dh is totally on board. My family says nothing, they know better!
    Lori )O(
    Extended nursing, home birthing, unschooling, Nursing Necklace making, WAHM to Konur 3-11-01 and Mali 6-16-04
    Leave Nursing Necklaces Feedback Here

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    15

    Thumbs up Re: Really extended

    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy Makelin

    Fortunately, I live in China where extended nursing is thought of as a wonderful thing, usually.

    --Ivy
    Hey, Ivy! Where in China are you living? We're in Gansu province!

    I tandem nursed my two for almost 2 years before my DD weaned at age 3.5. She was still nursing a lot around age 2.5, and still sleeping in our bed. Right after she turned 2.5, she asked for her own bed, and has slept there ever since, though it's still in our room. By age 3, it was bedtime and the occasional owie, and by 3.5 she got to where she was only asking every couple of weeks . . . it's been over a month since she asked now, and the last two times she did ask, she couldn't remember how to latch, but of course, if she asked again, I'd allow her to try. My almost 2 year old is still going nursing a lot, but just recently decided he'd like to sleep in his big sister's bed He makes it through the night, and then crawls back up to nurse at daybreak.

    Thumbs up to all you extended nursing Mamas!
    Last edited by ChinaDoll; March 27th, 2006 at 08:49 PM.

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