Large breast for small mouth and has come to prefer bottle

[@llli*mrsph83]

Our boy was born at 35 weeks and 3 days. He spent a week in the NICU. I began pumping and within a few days of birth he was on all breastmilk but was being bottled. I have large breasts, flat nipples and large areola. He seems to prefer the bottle. And to be honest I find it almost easier for me because then my husband can also feed him and being a first time mom its awkward for me. Ideally, I'd like to get him switched over to nursing, but for now he gets so frustrated at attempts. I'm also fortifying my breastmilk with Neosure to add some calorie to help him gain weight. Obviously I can't mix the milk that isn't pumped. Is it possible to wait until he's a month old and stops needing the mixed milk? Will he learn to latch after a month?

[@llli*mommal]

Welcome to the forum and congratulations on the new baby! I'm sorry he had to come out so early and spend time in the NICU. I know that's really challenging.

It is definitely possible for your baby to master breastfeeding a month from now. But "possible" is not the same as "certain"! Every day that goes by without him being at the breast, the chances of him learning to nurse decrease. Many moms make the mistake of thinking that because breastfeeding is so difficult in the early days, they will just wait for the baby to be bigger and stronger and more "ready", and then they'll try breastfeeding. But that's usually counterproductive, because the more the baby gets the idea that food = bottle and the less time he spends at the breast, the less likely he is to want to master the finicky art of nursing. The less time baby spends at the breast, the greater the chances that you'll be stuck exclusively pumping, and you do not want to do that for many reasons (it's harder to maintain supply, it's more time consuming and expensive, etc.). So I strongly advise you to spend as much time nursing as possible, and help your baby get the idea that the breast is where he wants to be.

Here is what I would do in your shoes:
1. Contact a lactation consultant, preferably an IBCLC, for hands-on help with latching and positioning. She can also help you with pumping- make sure you have the right pump and shields.
2. Talk to your child's pediatrician about how much supplementing you need to be doing. If you are reassured that you only need to offer x number of supplemented bottles per day, that can free you up to work on nursing.
3. Every time baby takes a bottle, pump.
4. Use an excellent pump, preferably hospital grade.
5. Put baby to the breast as often as possible. Don't get trapped in the "it's just this one time/just this one day/just one more feeding" mindset when it comes to the bottles. Now is the time to make the time and effort investment in nursing the baby directly!
6. Try to finish bottle feedings with time at the breast. You want your baby to associate the breast with comfort, relaxation, satiation, sleepiness, and pleasure- all feelings that are maximized at the end of a feeding.

Nursing a newborn is awkward for everyone, first time mom or not. But the only way you get better at something is to practice.

Let us know how it goes!

[@llli*rakoonz]

mommal has great advice, I'd only add that breastfeeding (once you iron out any troubles you are having in the beginning) usually gets easier, faster, and more enjoyable over time; but EPing usually gets harder over time, never takes any less time, and I don't think anyone finds it enjoyable. That is why we want to encourage you to work on getting baby to nurse.

[@llli*mer.mer]

Sounds similar to us minus the NICU stay. I'm sorry about that. The areola size shouldn't matter (that I'm aware of), and you most likely will need to support your breast for him (I still do and we are 6 mo) Anyway, make an appt with an LC ASAP. She will be able to show you how to do these things. And then you can start trying new positions once you get comfy with one that works for you both.

We ended up benefiting from a nipple shield for about 8 weeks until he grew enough to take just my nipple. But that may not be what you need.

[@llli*laterleigh]

I started with cosleeping and only nursing at night. Even with my big knockers- it was easier for them to latch with me laying down.then they could nurse as long as needed to feel full and build up supply while I actually got sleep. Then I pumped, stacked the milk w neocate during the day and eventually just phased out bottles one at a time. Sooo much easier than nursing, pumping, washing, 30 min of sleep, rinse and repeat. It may be nice to have your hubs help but each bottle feeding needs a pumping session or you'll dry up.