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Thread: What to do when away?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
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    14

    Default What to do when away?

    Hello, ladies. I am new to the forum and have a 6 week old little boy. Right now I am feeding on demand and it feels like I am feeding pretty much all the time when baby is awake. He does take good naps - usually a solid 2-3 hour nap in the morning and a couple shorter ones in the afternoon - but usually he will start fussing about 30 minutes after he finishes eating when he is awake and the only thing that seems to stop the fussing is more eating. He does not really nap after 6pm, so the evenings are generally filled with lots of time with him eating.

    I would like to start going to the gym 1-2 nights per week when my husband gets home from work. I am wondering how to do this? I don't want my husband to just feed him the whole time I am gone (2 hours max) because there's really no time for me to pump while I am at the gym to compensate for the feeding, but then I worry about the baby crying the whole time I am gone and I know that is not good for him. Should I wait a few more weeks to see if he starts stretching out between evening feedings? I just worry that I will never get back to the gym, and I could really use a little "me" time once or twice a week.

    So far, any time I have left the baby with my husband the baby has been asleep. I know that one of these days he is going to wake up while I am gone and I'm not sure what to tell my husband to do. Give him a bottle, or try to entertain the little guy until I get home? It's just hard because right now the only thing that seems to stop the fussing is nursing. Any suggestions would be much appreciated.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Dallas, TX
    Posts
    256

    Default Re: What to do when away?

    Six weeks was major fussy time for my baby, so honestly my advice would be to wait it out until your LO is less fussy in the evening. That day will come, I promise. In the meantime, can you, LO, and DH take a long walk together in the evenings? I would wear LO in a Moby wrap and that would actually calm her down and give a break from nursing, too. A fast-paced walk would be good exercise and then you could also possible fit in an exercise DVD, ab work, or light weights in while your LO takes the 2-3 hour nap? The fussiness will probably be much better in a month and then you can get the gym without worrying.
    Lisa

    Mom to Aimee, born 8/22/11
    for 20 months!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,962

    Default Re: What to do when away?

    Welcome to the forum and congratulations on the new baby! You've made it through the first 6 weeks, which is awesome. If you can do that, there's no challenge you can't get through!

    The feeding pattern you describe is completely normal. In fact, it's even better than normal because a lot of 6 week olds aren't giving their moms a nice, solid morning nap. The evening cluster feeding is absolutely normal, and again, is probably on the easy side because a lot of babies are colicky in the evenings and are not soothed by nursing. And believe me, any day of the week I would take a baby who is complacently attached to the breast, even for 5 or 6 hours straight, over one who is squalling inconsolably and refusing to nurse!

    I can totally understand why you want, and need, to get out of the house for some "me" time. Unfortunately, I think evenings are not the time when you can get that "me" time. Evenings, in my experience, are "baby" time, particularly with such a young baby. I think your choices are the following:
    - Focus on getting your time away from baby on the weekends, during that 2-3 hour nap when your DH can easily care for the baby, or
    - Get your exercise with baby in tow, by tucking baby into a sling and going for a brisk walk or putting baby in a jogging stroller and going for a jog, or
    - Bring your DH and your baby to the gym, and have your DH walk baby around and bring him to you when he needs to nurse.

    I promise, you will get back to the gym! But as with all things baby, you may have to adjust your expectations about what is possible/practical based on what's best for the baby.
    -
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Middle of nowhere in Ohio
    Posts
    121

    Default Re: What to do when away?

    Although I do agree with a lot of the PP, I think if you need some "me" time and being away for an hour or two would be good for you to help you re-charge. To be honest my son was the exact same way at 6 wks old. The funny thing was is that all he wanted to do was nurse at night, but once I was not in sight or smell or him, my husband did fine with him. It would give your husband some insight into what you go through on a daily basis and let him bond for a little while. I also like the last comment mommal made. Maybe you can have him take your LO to a store with a lot of colorful toys to look at while you are at the gym or have him take him for a walk around the block or something. Being gone for an hour or two a few days a week will not harm him at all.
    Last edited by @llli*littleturtlelove; July 9th, 2012 at 12:33 PM. Reason: ugh.. spelling
    Passed my CLC exam!

    Mother of 3: 12-25-04 12-3-07 1-13-2011

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Shakedown St.
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    1,176

    Default Re: What to do when away?

    There is usually a big growth spurt sometime around 6 weeks, and fussiness is really bad at that time. If you can hold off just until that passes, then the fussiness may get a little better and things might be easier for all of you.

    In the meantime, I think tucking your baby in a sling and going for a walk and finding a good home workout is a good idea. I did a huge amount of walking when my son was a newborn because I needed to get out of the house, but I couldn't leave my baby very easily so I wanted to be able to bring him along. It worked out very well for me.

    I agree that it is good to get a little "me" time when you need it, but I would try to find a way to pump to cover any missed feedings this early on because your milk supply is still pretty vulnerable to external influences. Maybe you could pump in the car to or from the gym. Also, my husband was usually able to calm my son by taking him outside for walks.
    K. Sophia - Mama to my little lactivore, the amazing Mr. X (11/10).

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    14

    Default Re: What to do when away?

    Thanks for the advice, ladies. Unfortunately I live in Georgia and it is 90+ degrees here every day until September, which really limits our ability to go out for walks. I try to get out with him early in the morning, but even then he seems to be so overheated, sweaty and crabby by the time we get home (and we only go for 20 minutes).

    My baby has been a big nighttime feeder since I brought him home. I'm kind of waiting for when the constant evening feeding will cease, and it has definitely stretched out (the first few weeks he was on the boob nonstop from 5pm until whenever we went to bed and now I get at least 30 minutes in between feedings). I do agree with mommal that I am lucky that the baby is consolable at night with nursing - I would much rather have that than having him screaming all night.

    What I don't want to happen is leaving him with my husband and then having the baby cry the whole time - that's not good for either of them. And I don't want my husband to just feed him the entire time I'm gone, because I know that will mess with my supply. So, I may just wait it out a few more weeks and see where we are at. I may also just try going one night and taking my cell phone and having my husband call me if things are not working out. I try to remind myself that this won't last forever (even if it feels like it at the time!).

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,962

    Default Re: What to do when away?

    It won't last forever, I promise!

    Is there a nice, air-conditioned mall you can go walk around in? I know that's totally lame compared to a rigorous workout on the elliptical or whatever you're envisioning doing at the gym. But it beats nothing and definitely beats walking around in the GA heat!

    I think you're totally right to wait this phase out, because it really is just a phase. Would your DH be open to going to the gym with you, and walking around with baby in a sling? That way he wouldn't be at home with a screaming baby, waiting for you to get back home.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    5,420

    Default Re: What to do when away?

    Generally I agree with pps, evenings are probably the most demanding time for everyone with a newborn. On the other hand, 2 hours twice a week at the gym when you are cue feeding all the rest of the time & breastfeeding is going well is unlikely to affect your milk supply or breastfeeding in any way, imo. On the other hand, baby fussing the whole time may well be unavoidable. Basically that is up to baby. But no baby is going to starve in 2 hours and you will not harm your supply with that kind of a short, infrequent separation either.

    I suggest teaching dad all the myriad ways there are to comfort a fussy baby, leave one small bottle (like 2 ounces of breastmilk) jic, hide the formula if there is any, and go to the gym and see how it goes, and prepare to be flexible, maybe doing a weekend am workout instead, etc. if evenings are too traumatic.

    Fussy baby ideas: http://www.llli.org/docs/00000000000...ybabyideas.pdf

    And more, just for dads: http://www.llli.org/docs/00000000000...t_partners.pdf

    I live where it is very hot too as a rule all summer. Gyms are not my thing, so I walked in the mornings with baby in a stroller or sling to get excercise.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    63

    Default Re: What to do when away?

    Hi momma! Congrats on your new baby!!

    I was also in your position with ds (he's almost 12 weeks now). I wanted to start working out but felt like I couldn't be away from him for more than 30 minutes at a time. We did lots of walking for a couple weeks :-)

    It does get better! I agree with everyone above, especially that evening time is baby time - he is cranky from around 5pm on - although that gets less intense as the weeks go. Can you work out in the mornings? I feed ds around 530 or 6am, and he'll usually go back to sleep for another 1-1.5 hrs, and that's when I work out. He's a happy little guy in the mornings and plays with dad for a little bit if I'm not back yet. All together I get about 2 hrs of "me" time...then it's babybabybaby all day ;-)
    Becky

    Mommy to Owen b. 4/20/12

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Manhattan, KS...for now.
    Posts
    143

    Default Re: What to do when away?

    Agreed with all of the above!

    I just wanted to add that I went back to work in the evenings when DS was 7 weeks old, and I was soooooooo nervous I was going to come home to both hubby and baby crying their eyes out...because up until then, he fussed all evening and would just nurse nurse nurse until he 'passed out' and what was my husband going to do about that? Know what I came home to? DS fast asleep in DH's arms <3 That was 5 weeks ago, and I've come home to DS awake and crying only once, and evidently he had just woken up when I walked in the door.

    It's hard, trusting Daddy to do his thing with baby! No one does it like Mama But different doesn't mean worse. They'll figure it out and have great bonding time because of it!
    Daniel Keith + Rachel Joy = Leonel Dante [4/13/2012]

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