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Thread: Night waking

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Upstate SC
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    Default Night waking

    I actually have the same issues...well they're not really issues since I don't have much else to do most of the time, just frustrations and they're confusing to this first-time mama! Sometimes not as much laundry or other housework gets done, but I figure it can wait for the next time period when my LO is sleeping.
    The only real issue with this change of schedule is that my SO works very early in the morning and since we're co-sleeping (or the bassinet is very near our bed when she does seem to want to sleep alone), he's woken up and says things like "we need to start putting cereal in a bottle with some milk for her so she'll sleep longer." This frustrates me, and he is actually very supportive of me breastfeeding, but his older 2 kids were formula-fed, which meant they were easier to "schedule."
    Any ideas about how to convince him that I'm ok with getting up in the middle of the night to nurse (or nursing in public...? (So I don't have to bring a bottle of pre-pumped milk everywhere we go, like he bugs me to do!) My daughter pretty much refuses a bottle from me anyway...she's taken them from my mom on the 3 occasions that she's babysat, but she seems to know she'd rather get the real thing from me! )

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    5,609

    Default Re: Need Advice- 6 Week Old

    "we need to start putting cereal in a bottle with some milk for her so she'll sleep longer." This frustrates me, and he is actually very supportive of me breastfeeding, but his older 2 kids were formula-fed, which meant they were easier to "schedule."
    Any ideas about how to convince him that I'm ok with getting up in the middle of the night to nurse (or nursing in public...? (So I don't have to bring a bottle of pre-pumped milk everywhere we go, like he bugs me to do!) My daughter pretty much refuses a bottle from me anyway...she's taken them from my mom on the 3 occasions that she's babysat, but she seems to know she'd rather get the real thing from me! )
    Well....What would convince him? I mean, I can suggest books, many articles and the infant feeding recommendations from the AAP, etc, all of which recommend EXCLUSIVE breastfeeding for the first 6 months (so, no formula at all, as long as there is breastmilk) and also that suggest that formula, bottles, and certainly rice cereal is NOT helpful in getting a baby to sleep longer and in the case of the cereal, is downright dangerous when given too early- but if his kids were formula fed and are (I presume) healthy wonderful kids, he may not be convinced by studies, kwim? I guess I am saying it might backfire to suggest that the way your husband’s older kids were fed is sub-optimal.

    Maybe you could just point out that breastfeeding is different than bottle feeding, and that what is happening is normal for your breastfed baby, and that unnecessary bottles are NOT recommended for breastfed babies, pumping is extra work for you and also not usually helpful and potentailly harmful when breasteeding and you enjoy nursing even at night and in public and all is fine?

    It sounds like he primary complaint is that his rest is being interrupted. I frankly do not believe his sleep was all that awesome when his older kids were newborns and getting bottles, as ALL babies need (or should be getting) frequent feedings overnight. But whatever...Can you find ways to nurse your baby without interrupting his sleep? Can you nurse side lying, when you bedshare, is baby between the two of you or on the other side of you (having baby on the other side of you is a typical safety suggestion for newborns.) I know that over time I got so good at nursing at the earliest cue that my husband would wake up in the am and say "I guess the baby slept through the night” when of course he had not. IN fact, studies suggest breastfeeding moms AND dads get more sleep.

    As far as nip-is it YOUR comfort with it he is concerned about, or his?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    1,176

    Default Re: Need Advice- 6 Week Old

    Putting cereal in a bottle is a choking hazard, among other things. I would say have your pediatrician set him straight, but lot of pediatricians seem to know little to nothing about infant nutrition. Maybe feel things out with your pediatrician first without your partner around and ignore the advice if he/she is pro-cereal or use it to set your partner straight if your pediatrician goes by the most current AAP recommendations.

    I never really discussed NIP with my husband. I just did it. Once he saw how nothing was showing and no one so much as noticed, he was fine with it.
    K. Sophia - Mama to my little lactivore, the amazing Mr. X (11/10).

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Upstate SC
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    30

    Default Re: Need Advice- 6 Week Old

    Thanks for the suggestions about the co-sleeping arrangements! I've found that the girls on the couch/dad in bed arrangement works sometimes too, since he has to go to bed around 8:30 during the week for work. Not my favorite, but during these marathon nursing weeks, it allows him more sleep and less disturbance.
    I don't think DH is as much trouble as my post made him sound about the other stuff. He's been as supportive as I could've expected him to be so far in the whole process. I'm VERY different than his ex...he was the one who got up in the middle of the night with his boys (we'll just say she's not my favorite example of a mother) so I think he feels like what worked for him before would work fine now too. I have been slowly educating him about things that I read here and other places, which he is very receptive to, but he's strongly a problem-solver by nature, so it will take some time! I did reassure/remind him today that this phase of nursing constantly will pass and we'll be on to the next!

    I do have a question related to katwoman's most recent post about NIP. What are anyone's suggestions about what to take along and/or wear in HOT weather? (It's usually 90 with at least 40% humidity in SC even without this crazy heat wave!)
    Also, if I'm at Walmart or somewhere like that and need to nurse my LO, should I just plop down on a bench or something? So far I've only nursed in my car with the AC running, which might start getting expensive, not to mention is wasteful!
    Thanks for the help!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    5,609

    Default Re: Need Advice- 6 Week Old

    runningmama I am sorry if I came down too hard on your DH, I did note that you said he is suppportive which is really great. it is hard for many mommas who are used to bottle feeding and formula feeding to get with the changes when breasteeding, so it makes sense it is all new to your Dh as well. But I have never met a dad of a breastfed baby who did not start to realize over time that he actually has a really great deal when baby is breastfed!

    OK, so NIP: here is the law on breastfeeding in public for SC that I found online: http://breastfeedinglaw.com/state-laws/south-carolina/

    The first half is just like where I live, in California. This is a great protection, because it means you are allowed to nurse ANYWHERE you are allowed to be. That means, any store, restaurant, mall, park, etc. Now, that does not mean every employee is going to know or understand the law, so you may have someone question you. So I suggest you print a copy of the law and keep it in your purse or diaper bag so you can pull it out if anyone gives you grief.

    You also have the added protection that specifically states that if you nurse somewhere you are allowed to be, you cannot be arrested for indecent exposure. Many moms think this can happen to them, but it usually cannot.

    So yes you LEGALLY can just plop yourself down anywhere and nurse as you please in SC, at least according to what I found online. If you want, you can check with your local LLL Leader or the South Carolina breastfeeding coalition just to make sure.

    My in-laws live in SC (I am proud to say my MIL was a LLL member in the 70s!) so I know how hot and sweaty it can be. It's hot where I live as well. I suggest you wear a comfortable nursing bra or sports bra, with a t shirt or tank, and simply open or pull down the bra and lift your shirt as needed. Practice in front of a mirror or at a LLL meeting until you feel comfortable. Trust me, the vasrt majority of the time, either no one notices or no one cares. If someone does give you the hairy eyeball, remember you are doing nothing wrong, you are simply feeding your baby. Some moms feel more exposed because their tummy shows, if this bothers you, you can wear a belly band or a light camosole for example-but I never bothered with this as too many layers made me hot.

    oops I just saw this:
    I've found that the girls on the couch/dad in bed arrangement works sometimes too,
    I get teh separate sleeping arrangement, that makes sense. But sleeping on a couch or chair with baby is considered unsafe co-sleeping, due to the risk of entrapment. Beds are considered safer, just FYI.
    Last edited by @llli*lllmeg; July 1st, 2012 at 10:31 PM.

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