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Thread: Need advice on spacing out feedings, co-sleeping.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
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    Wendell, NC
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    Default Need advice on spacing out feedings, co-sleeping.

    Hi mamas...

    Took DS to the pedi yesterday for his one month check-up, and accidentally admitted that we are co-sleeping (I hadn't told her before because I didn't want to hear the lecture). She seemed ok with it but told me that because he is almost 5 weeks, we should try cutting back on it now so that we don't have to struggle with sleep training in a couple of months. I agreed and brought the Rock n Play into the bedroom last night. Big mistake trying it on a weeknight!! He only slept in it for about 20 minutes and woke up wanting to comfort nurse, so I caved and brought him into the bed for the night. When he's sleeping with us, he can go 3-4 hours in between feedings. Anyone have any tips on how to wean off of co-sleeping? I have the issue with the Rock n Play during the day too - DS will sleep in my arms for 2-3 hours but only about 20 minutes at a time in the Rock n Play. On a rare occasion, he will take a long nap, but it's like 2% of the time that will happen. How can I get him to start sleeping in the Rock n Play more?

    Pedi also mentioned that I should start trying to space out his feedings during the day to 2-3 hours so that he doesn't become a "snacker" - the problem is, he already is one. He will eat for 10 minutes, fall asleep for 20, want more, fall asleep...he grazes almost all day. How can I start stretching the feedings out, or is this even necessary at his age? I thought he was supposed to start going a couple of hours on his own at some point. Anyone have any advice?? I don't want to set myself (or him) up for any unnecessary headaches in the future.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    10,440

    Default Re: Need advice on spacing out feedings, co-sleeping.

    to the ped. What wrong advice.

    A) your baby is FIVE WEEKS.
    B) sleep training is NOT NEEDED. I have never sleep trained any of my kids and they eventually sleep well. I was not sleep trained,a and I don't need to sleep with my mom. And I quit when I was a couple years old.

    Personally, do what baby NEEDS, not what some doctor ghinks. Your baby needs YOU. And that will go by fast, and you will miss it.

    And spacing out feedings is a bad idea too.

    You need a new doctor. One who is actually breastfeeding friendly. he will space them out when he's ready. But he's a newborn still.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
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    3,319

    Default Re: Need advice on spacing out feedings, co-sleeping.

    I hope this doesn't come across wrong, but you got some awful advice. The most important thing you can do right now is to nurse on demand--if that's every 10 minutes (and some days it will be ), that's what you do. As he gets bigger, his feeding pattern will change, and will get quicker and more discrete--instead of grazing all day, he's likely to nurse for a few minutes and move on to bigger and better things, like whatever is catching his eye. Nursing is a lot more than food, and he is still very little--comfort is just as legitimate a reason to nurse as hunger is, and it will make your life a lot easier (it sounds like it already has! ).

    If you're co-sleeping safely, and it's working for you, I wouldn't change it. If he sleeps better that way, and you do too, it sounds like it's working. Even if you do move him to the Rock and Play, you don't have to sleep train him at any point; babies sleep like babies, and it sounds like you're both doing just fine.

    Hang in there!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    20,822

    Default Re: Need advice on spacing out feedings, co-sleeping.

    My suggestion: stop talking to your pediatrician about feeding and sleep. Your pediatrician should confine herself to giving MEDICAL advice.

    Are you happy co-sleeping? Is your baby happy? Is your partner okay with having a family bed? If so, there's absolutely no reason to stop co-sleeping, provided you are co-sleeping safely (no mounds of soft bedding, no waterbeds, no couches, chairs, or recliners, no gaps/voids in which baby can become trapped, adults must be non-smoking, non-drinking, non-drug-abusing, and mom must be breastfeeding). Your baby is only 1 month old, which is way too young to be thinking about weaning your baby from co-sleeping. It's the time to focus on maximizing the amount of sleep you're getting- and if that means co-sleeping, so be it!- and about getting baby to fall into a rhythm of being more awake during the day and more sleepy at night.

    In a couple of months, come back and let's talk about sleep training! Until then, pick up a copy of Elizabeth Pantley's book "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" for a realistic look at infant sleep and some gentle techniques for getting a baby who is >4 months old to sleep longer and more independently.

    Your pediatrician's advice on feeding and "snacking" was simply idiotic. Babies should be fed on demand throughout their first year- and I am not making this up! The American Academy of Pediatrics says that "the best feeding schedules are the ones designed by the babies themselves". There is NOTHING wrong with snacking. Breastmilk digests quickly, and baby tummies are tiny. This means that many babies require small, frequent meals, a.k.a. snacks. Also, "snacking" keeps a baby's blood sugar nice and even, and allow a baby to set his own feeding schedule and listen to his own hunger/satiation cues may be why breastfed babies are less likely to become obese as adults. Finally, imposing an artificial schedule on baby's feeding can result in lowered milk supply (supply = demand, so restrict demand and you lower supply) and also in a baby not getting enough calories to grow.

    Don't let someone make your baby and his needs into a problem when he's obviously doing fine, and so are you!
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Need advice on spacing out feedings, co-sleeping.

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*aprilsmagic View Post
    to the ped. What wrong advice.
    I like the head slap icon! In fact, most of the posts that start with "My ped told me to . . . but I don't want to" deserve a . Why? Because if your ped tells you to do something that seems so wrong that you have to come on this forum to ask a bunch of strangers what they think, it is probably bad advice. It goes against your mommy instinct, right?

    Feeding by the clock = bad idea
    Even thinking about sleep training = really bad idea
    My little man was born 12/17/2010.

    Baby girl was born 4/30/2014.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
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    Wendell, NC
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    Default Re: Need advice on spacing out feedings, co-sleeping.

    Ladies, I love all of you. I don't even know why I post questions on other sites (ahem, Babycenter)...I always get THE BEST advice and the most support from this one. God love every single one of you, seriously. You just brightened my sleep-deprived day.

    We're immensely happy co-sleeping and obviously our little moose is too. He sleeps right between DH and I, and we really don't want to give that up right now. Something about his tiny, pudgy body is actually comforting to the both of us.

    I also have a paci question, if you don't mind...after trying the "binky buffet", he finally settled on a Nuk. But the thing won't stay in his mouth for long, unless I gently hold it in for him (not forcing him by any means - he happily takes it but mid-suck, it pops out). Is it possible that he needs a larger size? Some women said the Mam tends to stay in better - is it worth buying yet another brand to see if it works?

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    10,440

    Default Re: Need advice on spacing out feedings, co-sleeping.

    You could try mam, but you could try the other size too. It's also possible he doesn't want a paci and is pushing it out.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    3,319

    Default Re: Need advice on spacing out feedings, co-sleeping.

    I can't remember the name of the paci we used; they gave it to him at the hospital and he liked it, so we didn't change it. Some people say not to do it because it can interfere with nursing, and that's something to be aware of, but it didn't affect it at all for us, and he loved it. I'll try to find the name or a picture and post it.

    ETA: Here's what we used--they're called GumDrops: http://www.gumdroppacifier.com/Gumdr...fiers-s/32.htm
    Last edited by @llli*mumtothomas; July 5th, 2012 at 08:37 AM.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Need advice on spacing out feedings, co-sleeping.

    MumtoThomas, you might have had the Soothie if they gave it to your son at the hospital (just a guess). We tried that one, to no avail. DS seems to like the orthodontic ones, which we only found out after trying about 20 of the regular ones. I didn't give him one until my now-famous pedi said he was ready (gaining enough weight, breastfeeding was going really well) and luckily, neither the paci nor the bottle have interfered with his nursing.

    ETA: We tried the Gumdrop too!! Thank you for looking it up. Hint of advice to anyone wanting to try pacis - buy them at Target and save your receipt...they will take back the ones that LO doesn't like.

  10. #10
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    Jun 2008
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    Default Re: Need advice on spacing out feedings, co-sleeping.

    I've seen Soothies, but never tried them. I'd never heard of GumDrops before he got one in the hospital. We ordered them by the half dozen when he got older.

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