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Thread: I'm lost and feeling isolated and frustrated....

  1. #1

    Default I'm lost and feeling isolated and frustrated....

    I recently gave birth via csection to my first baby boy. We had an uncomplicated birth and pregnancy, MJ was 9lb 5oz and 21.25inches long. He is not 4 weeks old and I have been bf him since birth. We did need to use a sns for less than a day with some formula due to his weight loss of a lb at 3 days old because my milk wasn't coming in. He latched on great at the beginning but when my milk wasn't in and he became quite the hungry man he started to really damage my nipples. They have since healed, however my right nipple that he caused the most damage to seems like it is still recovering and doesn't seem to last as long as my other during feeds. The first 2 weeks went well and he gained his birth weight back plus some! Yay us!

    However since then he has become a very fussy baby! He wants to eat every hour....and eats for 40 minutes....which only gives me a 20minute break .... but screams if i put him in a swing or bouncy so i have to hold him so really i dont get a break. He started spitting up and screaming for hours at a time with lots of back arching and not being able to be consoled. I tried putting him on the breast but he would latch on and while still sucking pull my breast and smack me and then let go and scream! He is not sleeping except for quick 20 minutes naps and only in your arms. If im not walking, patting, or swaying he screams! I am exhausted...this has been going on for 2 weeks now and im at my wits end!

    I don't have anyone close to me that has breastfed so of course when I vent to family members they all tell me to quit give formula but I don't want to! I am currently trying to do an elimination diet but they says it could be weeks to see a difference...(I don't know if I can make it that long). I am wondering if its gas/reflux/or colic so I have been trying different positions and my moby wrap constantly which seems to help slightly but not enough so that mom can rest. My husband is feeling helpless so friday I finally gave in and pumped for the night so I could sleep and dad could stay up. He said he did wonderful and was very content yesturday so I continued to pump just to keep him happy. What is happening??!!?? Is it my breasts that is making him a monster? I feel like I am hurting him....I just want him to be happy so I can be happy!

    Help me! I want to continue breastfeeding him but I feeling isolated and crying all day is making me feel defeated.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: I'm lost and feeling isolated and frustrated....

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*hkriger7 View Post
    However since then he has become a very fussy baby! He wants to eat every hour....and eats for 40 minutes....which only gives me a 20minute break .... but screams if i put him in a swing or bouncy so i have to hold him so really i dont get a break. He started spitting up and screaming for hours at a time with lots of back arching and not being able to be consoled. I tried putting him on the breast but he would latch on and while still sucking pull my breast and smack me and then let go and scream! He is not sleeping except for quick 20 minutes naps and only in your arms. If im not walking, patting, or swaying he screams! I am exhausted...this has been going on for 2 weeks now and im at my wits end!
    First, congrats on your beautiful baby!

    I'm no expert but the back arching could be a sign of reflux -- it helps to lengthen the esophagus and minimize pain. Eating frequently helps to keep stomach acids down. All that said, 4 weeks is just a very fussy time. He's still so little and has so much to figure out. You are what he knows best and he wants you. Don't be fooled by his response to the bottle -- it's hard for a kid to say no when it's already in their mouth and flowing. And in the long run cleaning and prepping bottles is a lot more time consuming. In the meantime, how are his poops and pees?

    Talk to your doc about reflux and also know that the fussies really do pass. You'll soon have a beautiful BF relationship.
    Mama to Viv since 4/08/12 -- my all natural post-breast cancer miracle baby

    with just one breast. So far so good.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: I'm lost and feeling isolated and frustrated....

    Hi mama, it sounds like reflux more than allergy go me. Did you pump all night when DH bottle fed? What are his poops like? Also his general nursing behavior sounds normal, I know it's a lot, but BF babies feed around the clock often , it will get better though I promise!
    Mommy to Maxwell 10-9-07 weaned with love (a party and a remote control monster truck) on his 4th birthday
    My Boy 3-16-10
    And my sweet pea Sam 2-12-11

    Watch Your Language

  4. #4

    Default Re: I'm lost and feeling isolated and frustrated....

    Thanks for your quick responses! He constantly has wet diapers and poops with almost every feed .... yellow and seedy sometimes with a hint of brown. He has a ton of gas and needs burped often. I have been think he has reflux since birth but didn't want to rush to anything. I am not a big fan of medications and I know they will just want to give him zantac... does anyone have experience with probiotics of these little ones?

    Yes I pumped the night my husband fed him and I have been pumping likr every 2 hours to keep my supply up. I do want to get him back to the breast but having the help of others feed him has been nice this weekend....but that will all disappearas the work week begins .... if anything out of this weekened is positive...its that at least I know he will take a bottle for when I go back to work in a couple weeks.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: I'm lost and feeling isolated and frustrated....

    Your breasts are not turning your baby into a monster. Many a babies seem more "content" when eating from a bottle because bottlefeeding is so easy. They don't have to latch on or suck properly in order to get a relatively fast, constant flow of fluid, and thefore it's easy for a baby to overeat from the bottle and end up so stuffed that he just passes out- and when a baby overeats and passes out in a stuffed-tummy coma, that can look like contentment. Nursing from the breast is a much bigger challenge- it's like learning to dance, with a partner who may never have danced before! At first it's really tricky and there are lots of tears, but before you know it you're gliding around like Fred and Ginger.

    If your family is not being supportive about breastfeeding, stop asking them for breastfeeding support. Ask them to give you the sort of help that they CAN give you- making meals, stopping by to throw in a load of laundry, walking your dog, etc. barely 4 weeks after major abdominal surgery, you shouldn't be doing any of that stuff, regardless of how well breastfeeding is going. They could also pay for you to see a professional for hands-on help- a visit with an IBCLC could be really helpful to you.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  6. #6
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    Default Re: I'm lost and feeling isolated and frustrated....

    Here is my opinion on reflux, yes we do probiotics, but for a baby with reflux, it's not matter of proper flora, the baby's muscles aren't strong enough to hold food down and the need medication to help with the acid making parts of their tummy. Mt DS2 was on Prilosec (Zantac hasn't really worked in my experience) for a full year and his behavior improved so much! Yes he was still fussy, especially during his "witching" hours at night, but he was a happy baby not spending his life in pain.

    I encourage you to nurse on demand, put the bottles and pump away, your baby seems normal in nursing and cluster feeding as well as the round the clock nursing with is extremelynecessary to single your body to make enough milk. And see about reflux techniques and Meds.
    Mommy to Maxwell 10-9-07 weaned with love (a party and a remote control monster truck) on his 4th birthday
    My Boy 3-16-10
    And my sweet pea Sam 2-12-11

    Watch Your Language

  7. #7

    Default Re: I'm lost and feeling isolated and frustrated....

    However since then he has become a very fussy baby! He wants to eat every hour....and eats for 40 minutes....which only gives me a 20minute break .... but screams if i put him in a swing or bouncy so i have to hold him so really i don’t get a break. He started spitting up and screaming for hours at a time with lots of back arching and not being able to be consoled. I tried putting him on the breast but he would latch on and while still sucking pull my breast and smack me and then let go and scream! He is not sleeping except for quick 20 minutes naps and only in your arms. If im not walking, patting, or swaying he screams! I am exhausted...this has been going on for 2 weeks now and im at my wits end!
    Have you considered if forceful letdown is the issue or at least part of the issue? This is way more common than true GERD and of course can make GERD worse as well. read this article: http://kellymom.com/bf/got-milk/supp.../fast-letdown/


    But here is the thing-A four week old baby who has absolutely no other issues going on is still normally going to need to nursed basically constantly, be held constantly, and does not give his or her mom any breaks. Obviously this varies from baby to baby in intensity, but it is still NORMAL HEALTHY NEWBORN INFANT BEHAVIOR. This is why moms need family and friends around her in this period who will HELP HER and not make her feel bad, as this neediness on baby’s part is normal and expected and necessary in the first month or two at least.

    Who told you to do an elimination diet? Stop. That is adding to your stress and what you eat is almost certianly not the issue. If you eat lots and lots of dairy and it's not a hardship on you to cut back, you can try that, as dairy is the usual culptit in such cases. But seriously, it is rare for a breastfed baby to have issues due to moms diet.

    and I strongly suggest you stop pumping and giving bottles! That is going to make things worse.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: I'm lost and feeling isolated and frustrated....

    EPing is easy when you have help. It isn't when the help stops. BTDT. Honestly, your baby sounds like two of mine: high needs babies who had reflux too. All of mine had reflux, but the two were very huh needs. Couldnt put the down, they cried constantly, they were very fussy in general. A sling will help. Put the bottles away, go hang out and feed baby on demand, and let things calm down.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
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    Default Re: I'm lost and feeling isolated and frustrated....

    Sounds like my DS. I thought he had reflux for a few weeks but waited to go to the pedi. Once I finally did he was able to sleep for longer stretches. He finally did well at night with 2 hrs stretches but during the day he continued to nurse pretty close to non-stop and sometimes non-stop. I think it is a combination of reflux and normal baby behavior. Zantac did work for DS and since its the only one approved for babies thus far I'd start with it and if things didn't improve try another. It was a pretty quick night and day difference after starting the meds.
    Married to the best husband ever since Nov 2009
    DS born 1/7/12 at 36 wks after PROM and Gestational diabetes happy and healthy ~

    Taking it one day at a time.

    Currently and !!!

  10. #10
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    Default Re: I'm lost and feeling isolated and frustrated....

    Eta: Prilosec is a pump inhibitor and worked better with DS1 than just Zantec
    Last edited by @llli*jenna562; July 1st, 2012 at 08:50 PM.
    Mommy to Maxwell 10-9-07 weaned with love (a party and a remote control monster truck) on his 4th birthday
    My Boy 3-16-10
    And my sweet pea Sam 2-12-11

    Watch Your Language

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