weaning questions

[@llli*hummingbird]

So I'm gonna give you guys a little bit of history to help you understand where I am coming from. Before I gave birth to my first daughter I had been showing a lot of signs for developing what's called Mixed Connective Tissue Disease. After a great deal of debate, my dh and I decided to go through with a pregnancy. It was a hard pregnancy (I suffered from Sever Hyperemises gravadaum) but dd1 arrived safe and sounds. I nursed her till she was almost 3 and she'd decided to no longer nurse. After that pregnancy all of my problems went away and we assumed the Mixed Connective Tissue Disease was in remision. We decided to have another child after a great deal of research on how to manage some of the problems I had with my first pregnancy. Unfortuantly my Mixed Connective Tissue disorder came out of remission with this pregnancy.

I started developing simptoms about 4 months after delivery and my Dr recommended I quite nursing in order to take some medicine. This medicine is not safe while pregnant (I checked with mother risk here in Canada). I discussed this with my Dr and instead of heading his advice I made some drastic changes to my diet to deal with my Microscopic Colitis instead of taking the medicine. Nursing was just too important for me. So far things had been going well. However, I have had more sypmtoms appear within the last month and the changes I had made are no longer working to control my existing symptoms. My Dr. has again suggested that I wean in order to take the medicine to help me.

However, I am having a great deal of problems with this. When I weaned dd1 she was old enough to understand she was getting too big for it. and she was able to come up with other ideas in order to help her go to sleep. Dd2 is only 15 months old. She is too old to accept a substitue for sucking ( she doesn't use a soother and I don't want to introduce one) and she's too young to understand why she can't have it anymore. She doens't nurse during the day. It's only at nap/bedtime and during the night. We co-sleep so i don't really wake up to nurse her which is a bonus...however a challenge while weaning and she's too young to move into her big girl bedroom that's waiting for her (a twin matress). I use Attachment Parenting as the baises for my parenting style and if given a choice I would continue to nurse. Unfortunatly, I'm beginning to feel more and more that my body is making the choice for me and that I'm gonna soon seriously have to soon wean her. I would appreciate any suggestions you gals have on how i can go about this that is not going to cause to much distress to dd2. Thank you and sorry for the long post.

[@llli*lllmeg]

Hi, I am so sorry to hear of your illness. How very difficult for you!
Is motherrisk basically the same as infant risk? www.infantrisk.com ? I am at the point where the only person I trust re: meds and breastfeeding information is Dr. Hale. Also, if the drug’s lactation safety rating is less than safe but not totally contraindicated, it may make a difference that your child is a toddler and not getting all her nutrition at the breast-Hales ratings, unless otherwise noted, are specifically for exclusively breastfed infants under 6 months, and sometimes the recommendation is different if the child is older, if that makes sense.

Ok, if weaning is needed: I would suggest, to wean as gradually as possible, which may not be all that gradual considering your health but you need to do what you need to do! There are many weaning techniques to try-dropping one session at a time, using distraction, using substitutes, (offering a tasty, healthy drink or snack, for example, instead of nursing, if you don't want to go down the pacifier road,) limiting the time of nursing sessions by nursing just for the time a special song can be sung or for a count of 10 or 20-what is going to work best for you and your daughter will vary.

I would suggest, once you make the decision to wean, make your own peace with the decision, or find a way to at least appear at peace. Your daughter may sense wavering in you and that may confuse her. Obviously you cannot explain the issues to her at this age, but I believe if you approach weaning as something normal and necessary and OK, rather than something you are yourself conflicted about, it may make it easier for your child to accept it.

And of course you know you can still continue in the same responsive and respectful parenting philosophy, nursing or not!

These books will have ideas for you: How Weaning Happens and The Nursing Mothers Guide to Weaning. Also if sleep time is an issue, you could try The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley.

[@llli*hummingbird]

So i have chosen to wean her nap time nursing session (as she is weaned from all day time nursing. All she nurses is at nap time) today is day 4 and I'm feeling so frustrated. Getting her to sleep has always been easy. I start nursing her and within about 10-15 Mon she is sound asleep. Now it's taking an hour. She begs and yells out num nums. She tries to pull up my shirt. She pinches, bites and hits. She is screaming so hard at time she is making herself gag. It's a nightmare :'( i don't know what to do. I have stuffed animals for her to hug, i offer to hug her, i try rubbing her back, rocking her to sleep, rubbing her head and face, singing. Anyhing i can do to offer her comfort. She is inconsolable until exhaustion over takes her. I haven't been having as much trouble wig my health and i meet with the surgeon today and part of me is feeling like giving up and doing it as long as i can and cutting her cold Turkey when i absolutely have to. I don't know what to do...any suggestions?

[@llli*mommy2lilah]

I'm sorry mama. Can you walk her around to sleep? Do something other than lay down with her?

[@llli*esthervegan]

I have 2 polar opposite suggestions.
1. Is to go back to nursing her at nap time b/c if i read your post correctly she does nurse at night.
2. Is to go cold turkey now, give her a bottle of what ever she enjoys drinking and get your physical health taken care of.

if you are jeopardizing your health and not taking your medication b/c you are certain that the meds. are contra-indicated I understand.
I totally sympathize w/ your desire/need to mother ds2 in the way that makes sense, the way you only know how.
But both your children and your husband need you healthy in the long run.
If you were my daughter, I would come over and watch your kids for a few days while you took a break and you would have weaned by default.

[@llli*smileyface]

I am so sorry you're going through this. My health is a bit of a mess at the moment for the same reason -- the medications suggested aren't knowingly safe for breastfeeding. I applaud you for having the courage to take care of yourself.

I just throw this out there as it might be a way to get your daughter to decide she no longer wants to nurse (sniff sniff). I do hesitate to suggest this as it does involve some trickery, but just in case it helps (and please feel free to ignore if it doesn't), here goes: Would you consider putting something on your nipples that your daughter would find offensive in taste, so she would decide she no longer wants to nurse? Because if she decides to stop, the level of distress from her end might be less or nonexistent. A friend of mine who had to wean because of her own health used Tabasco sauce and she said it worked like a charm. Her son showed no signs of distress, just decided it no longer tasted good any more.

Again, I just throw this out there in case it's helpful.

Hugs.

[@llli*jenna562]

Tabasco sauce has peppers in it. I cannot imagine intentionally burning my child's mouth when what they were seeking was comfort and nourishment from their mother! There are many ways to gently wean, and tabasco sauce is not one of them.

[@llli*still.here]

Please do not put tabasco on your breast. That is not trickery it's intentionally causing your child pain. It would be less traumatic for the child to just deny the breast rather than cause pain to get her to reject it. I would not put straight tabasco sauce in my own mouth, let alone an infant's.

[@llli*smileyface]

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause harm. Hummingbird seemed pretty desperate, so I thought I'd share something that a friend had had some success with. I didn't mean to suggest burning her child's mouth.

Please forget I said anything.